Page 38 of Waiting on Life
“I called them in, asked them to sit, and said, ‘Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something. I’m bisexual. I like boys and girls.’ Toby squeezed my fingers, which gave me strength. Mom looked at Dad, then back to me. She had the most puzzled expression on her face. She cocked her head and said, ‘I’m sorry, was this supposed to be a surprise? Dave, did we not already know this?’ And Dad? He pursed his lips, then said, ‘Tammy, why are you telling us something we already knew? I didn’t know it was a secret.’”
She sniffled, and this time I did reach for her. “They sound amazing.”
“They kinda are. Mom told me they’d known for a while and it wasn’t any big deal. They thought I could talk to them about anything, and I think it kind of hurt them that I had been keeping my secret in for so long. Even more that I was hurting and they didn’t realize.”
“My mom is the only one who never freaked about me being gay. She thought it was awesome and told me all the time that I should be my fabulous self in every aspect of my life. The kids at school? For the most part, they shrugged and saidmeh, but there’s always those peabrain bastards—sorry. I shouldn’t swear.”
“And why the fuck not?” She grinned at me. “Sometimes a swear word is needed to punctuate a sentence. Now, as you were fucking saying?”
Oh, I liked her so much. “They hounded me whenever they could, calling me names, making snide comments and pornographic ones to boot. One guy, Greg Malone, liked to grab his crotch when I was around and ask me if I wanted to see what he was packing. He stopped when, in front of all his friends, I said that it looked like a rolled-up pair of tube socks. I never took shit from anyone. At least to their faces. Alone, in the privacy of my own room, I always wondered if I was good enough.”
“Let me tell you something. I think you’re great. When Toby talks about you, I can hear the smile in his voice. I haven’t heard that in way too long. And so you know, if you decide that you want to be with Toby, he’ll never let you forget how incredible you are. That’s not who he is. I think it’s why his other relationships fizzled so fast. Toby got serious before they were ready.”
I couldn’t understand that myself. Sure, we hadn’t known each other long, but I already felt comfortable around him. He didn’t look at me as swishy or twinky or anything. He looked at me like… like I mattered. I sucked in a breath when I recalled his eyes and the way they sought mine out.
“He’s incredible. Just not sure he’s for me.”
She frowned slightly. “That’s something only you can decide.”
“How do I know he’s not going to jump back into the closet?”
“Because Toby isn’t like that. He doesn’t play. If he says he’s in, then he is.”
But how could I be sure? Well, there was one way. I just hoped it didn’t backfire on me.
Chapter Eleven
Toby
“Hey, Toby.”
I looked up to see a very tan, very relaxed-looking Cary walking in, a big smile on his bright face.
“Cary! Welcome back. How was your trip?”
He sighed. “It was great. Mom fed me too much, the brothers and sisters kept me up way too late talking about what was going on, and Dad wanted to go to a baseball game with me. We haven’t done that since I was a kid. I…. Miss them, ya know?”
I did. I didn’t spend enough time with my own family, and I regretted it. When Kyle told me he was going to lunch with Tammy and asked if that was okay, I assured him it was great. She was an easy person to talk to. She got the smiles and winning personality. I got the scowls and muscles. Most people were afraid of me, but Tammy had a way of putting them at ease.
“Was everything okay here? I mean, did you hire someone? I could have come back sooner, but—”
“No, you were entitled to that time off, and you deserved it. Things here were… eventful. I did hire a new guy. His name is Kyle, and he’s been doing a great job.”
“Is he here?”
“No. He’s off for a few days because some asshole punched him when he wasn’t looking. He fell and smacked the floor pretty hard. His roommate took him to the ER. No concussion, but the doctor wanted him to take it easy for a few days.”
“It was that bastard, Deever, wasn’t it?”
John Deever.Thatwas his name. I kept trying to come up with it, but it stayed just out of my reach. I made a mental note to tell Jack about it.
“Yeah.”
“He’s such an asshole. Acts like he’s all high and mighty, but I can’t tell you the number of times he asked if I wanted to go into the alley behind the bar to test my skills on his massive man-meat.”
I groaned. “Please tell me he didn’t.”
“‘Massive man-meat’ is an exact quote,” Cary said, the hard look on his face deepening. “So when will Kyle be back?”
