Page 45 of Besties
“So he’s okay?”
She nodded. “I tried to call you to tell you not to come, but—”
“Our phones were off on the plane, and I forgot to turn it back on. It wouldn’t have mattered, though—we would have come anyway.” We started walking again until we got to the cafeteria and hit the buffet. Mom took a little bit, but when we sat down, she stared at her plate as she picked at the food.
“When the doctor was asking Walter questions, he kept looking at me. As he admitted he’d been having problems, his cheeks flushed. He said he was sure it was nothing and didn’t want to worry me. He said he was going to talk with his doctor about it next month at his regular appointment. He doesn’t understand why I’m upset.” Tears filled her eyes again. “He could have died, and all because he was too damned stubborn to open up to me. What kind of relationship is that?”
Her words were like a splash of cold water to me. I’d refused to talk to Richie about my feelings for years. He’d admitted the same thing. So what kind of relationship could we have if we weren’t honest with one another?
“A damned good one.”
Her eyes narrowed into slits. “What?”
“Dad was having an affair. Did he talk to you about it? No. He was cheating on us. Was it because he didn’t want you to worry? No. It was because he was a selfish bastard. Walter didn’t want to stress you out. He wasn’t thinking of himself—he was concerned with you. Don’t fault him for loving you, Mom. Does he need to work on communication? Yeah, of course. But he’s alive to do that. So you need to get over your hurt feelings and do what you’re accusing him of not doing. Talk. Get this out in the open.”
She reached out and took my hand. “When did you get so smart?”
“Oh, I’m not smart. I’ve been stupid for twenty years. And you had a hand in that too, from what I hear.”
She gave a slight smile. “He told you?”
“Yep.” I sighed. “So here you are telling me that Walter didn’t communicate with you, but you never talked with me.”
“I think we covered this already. You weren’t about to listen to me, so I talked with Richie. You needed him as much as he did you. Of course, being stubborn men, the two of you had to find out things on your own instead of listening to me.” She patted my hand. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. I knew Jesse wouldn’t be the one for you. The only person who could be was Richie, and that’s because he’s the only person you’ve been with who ever loved you in return.”
“I never loved Jesse.”
She smiled. “I know. I’ve seen what love looks like on you, and that wasn’t it. It was hope and desperation. Youwantedto love him, or maybe you’d hoped he’d love you, but your heart was never—would never—be in it.”
“Just like it wasn’t with every guy I ever tried to be with.”
“Because you knew there was only one man you could love. Richie became the most important part of your life after your father left. He was the one who propped you up when you needed him to.”
“When didyouget so smart?”
A chuckle. “I would do anything for you, Max. I hated seeing you continue that cycle of self-loathing, because you didn’t deserve it. Your father stopped loving us. End of story. It wasn’t either of us that did anything wrong. He wanted new and exciting.” She frowned. “He’s getting divorced, you know.”
“What?”
“Apparently he’s found true love with his secretary. Again.”
“Oh my God. What about his kids?”
She shrugged. “Probably the same thing he did with you. He’ll forget they existed.”
My heart went out to my half-brother and sister. I never met them, but I hoped they handled the situation better than me.
She was quiet for a moment as she stared at her salad. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Did you worry that you’d be like him?”
Hell, yes. I thought I wasn’t capable of loving someone. That I’d get tired of them and run off with the next pretty face that caught my attention.
“Yeah.”
“You won’t.” She lifted her gaze to meet mine. “It’s not in you. Even after everything that you’ve been through, you wouldhave stayed with those men, because you won’t walk away. You’d stay and fight for your family, no matter what.”
