Page 34 of Besties
“You have?”
I could hear the hope in his voice, which I understood. I’d been hoping for this moment my entire life. “Oh, hell yeah.”
He sat back down. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why didn’t you?”
He turned away. “Because I thought if you knew, you’d be disgusted that the fat kid had a crush on you.”
“Where’s this coming from?”
He huffed a breath and stood up, turning away from me. “Where isn’t it? I’ve been overweight my whole life. Doesn’t matter if I eat nothing but lettuce leaves, I can’t lose weight. The doctor wanted me to try some pills, but I wasn’t comfortable with that idea. I hear the snide comments, the laughs, and the mocking. It hurts now just like it did when we were kids. I couldn’t bear the thought you felt the same way.”
I rose and came up behind him, rubbing his back like he’d done for me so many times. “Did you know, I never once thought of you as fat. In fact, it’s because of your body that I… like you, not in spite of it.”
He turned and that sad expression was back. I reached out and put a hand on his arms.
“These arms? They held me in some of my darkest hours.” I patted his chest. “Within this chest beats a heart of gold.” I stroked a hand over his stomach. “And this stomach? It’s gorgeous and beautiful. When you got undressed last night, I saw it for the first time, and I was so fucking turned on.”
His brows quirked. “Really?”
Knowing that anything I might say at this point had the power to hurt him, I needed to choose my next words very carefully.
“I never once in my life thought of you as anything but sexy. Well, except for that time in second grade when you ate one of your boogers. Then I thought you were gross.”
His lip trembled and I held out my arms.
“Do you need a hug?”
He rushed forward and grabbed me tight around the waist, hauling me off my feet. I could feel his tears on my face, and I rubbed my hands on his back, hoping to soothe him.
I put my lips near his ear. “If we were alone, I’d show you how much I want your body.”
A tremble rolled through him.
“I’ve had dreams of you and me in bed, where I’d be sucking you, driving you out of your mind, or you’d be hovering over me as you pump into my body. That one has caused me many nights of wet sheets, let me tell you.”
He groaned, a deep, throaty sound. “You’re killing me.”
“Good, because I’m sure you can feel what’s pressed against your stomach right now. That’s what you’ve been doing to me for years.”
He put me back down. “You know, your mom has been telling me to talk to you about how I feel.”
I was stunned. “What?”
“Yeah, she’s been on me to come clean with you. When I told her what I worried about, she swatted me on the arm and said, ‘Have youeverheard Max say anything about your weight?’ But I was scared.”
“You told my mother?”
His eyes went wide. “Are you nuts? I didn’t tell anyone. Your mom is… she’s like crazy intuitive. That day she wanted to talk to me privately? She read me the riot act, reminding me that all my excuses were gone, so I had to grow a set—her words, not mine—and talk to you.”
“My mother?”
He laughed. “Yeah, your mom.”
“And how long has she known this?”
“Oh.” He bit his lip. “A few years.”
