Page 59 of The Grizzly Situation
Chaim looked away. “You have to understand, Brent?—”
“Would. You. Have. Left?’ I growled, and I swear Chaim flinched. He’d faced bigger guys and never batted an eye, but here? Now? I’d made him nervous.
“No,” Benjy replied. “We fought bitterly about it, because your father had used threats against me to blackmail Chaim into going. I wanted us to stay, to show we weren’t afraid and?—”
“I wasnotafraid of him!” Chaim insisted. “I was afraid….” He stroked his fingers over Benjy’s cheek, pain in his gaze. “For you, baby. And for the cub. What would his father do to him if we refused to leave?”
As much as I hated to admit it, I could understand. My father always had to be right, to be the strongest. He probably knew Chaim could take him, so he moved the things he cared about to act as a barrier between them.
“He would have done something shitty, like he always did.” I chuckled ruefully. “When he said he was stepping down, he thought the town would throw him a banquet. We did nothing. By then everyone hated him and couldn’t wait to see him go. Especially me. The day I assumed the role, I told him good bye and wished him well. He wasn’t sure what I meant, until he was escorted out of town. He moved to Texas and we never spoke again. He didn’t know about Jenna or the boys, because I refused to have his hate pollute them.” I slumped onto the couch beside Chaim. “I despised him for making you guys leave. He took the only good things in my life and sent them away.”
Benjy got up and moved to the other side of me. Then I found myself sandwiched in a hug. It felt good. Right. Like my home was finally settled.
“You’re not leaving,” I insisted, unable to bear losing my friends again.
“We’re not leaving,” Chaim agreed, placing his chin on the top of my head. “I told Benjy if you stood up and insisted we stay, then we would.”
I scowled at him. “You’re an idiot.”
That got a chuckle from Benjy. “About time you figured that out.”
Chaim reached out and gripped my arm, almost painfully. His face was contorted as though what he was about to say would hurt. “There’s something you need to understand, cub. You and Benjy were always my strength, but you were also my weak spot. The thought that something would happen to either of you left me trembling and unable to breathe. You are the closest thing I have to a brother. I would give anything I own to keep you, Benjy, and my kids safe.”
And I felt the same way. “That’s why I need you to come home. Where you belong. We’ll find a place for a diner, but I can’t—Iwon’t—have my heart ripped out when you leave again.”
Benjy smirked. “Ripped out? Isn’t that a little melodramatic?”
Honestly, I wanted to say yes, he was right, I was being a drama queen. But I remembered with crystal clarity the nights I lay in bed, alone and desperately lonely, because I had no friends to speak of. How my entire world was wrapped up in these two guys, who’d helped me to look beyond the loneliness. It was only after I realized that was what he wanted, to keep me under his thumb and have no one else to turn to other than him, that I stopped caring what he wanted and started working on what I did. I went back to weightlifting and grew bulk, I focused in school and got my grades up to… well, not stellar, but passable levels. I did everything I could to distance myself from my father.
I made friends. Not many, to be sure, but they were good and steadfast. They weren’t Chaim and Benjy, though, but who was? Still, every day I remembered them and that hole continued to grow slowly.
I shook my head. “When I found out you were gone, it nearly killed me. Dad and I were already at each other’s throats, with him telling me you were gone and I had to accept it. Every day after that, I hated him more and more. It got to the point where if he had died, I wouldn’t have mourned. In all honesty, I would have breathed easier, I think.”
I was quiet for a few moments waiting for the rebuke.
“I half expected you to say I needed to forgive him because he’s my father,” I admitted.
“No. Never. No one can tell you how to feel or how to deal with those feelings. You can’t ask the aggrieved to dismiss the anger for the person who treated them so poorly.” He sighed. “Believe me, I have enough anger and resentment for him myself. I kept a lid on it because I wasn’t sure if you guys made peace.”
“Nope, and it isn’t likely to happen. He’s in Texas and if he moved farther away, I’d be even happier.”
“Daddy?”
I looked up and found Eddie staring at me, eyes wide.
“Hey, honey. C’mere.”
I opened my arms and he ran for me, squeezing my neck hard, gasping for air.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want Momma to leave,” he sobbed.
I was shocked, thinking maybe he’d heard something I hadn’t. “Who said Uly was leaving?”
“She did before.”
When she died. “Uly isn’t going anywhere.”
