Page 123 of Wishing for La Luna
She smiles softly. “You’re never disrespectful. On the contrary, you have impeccable manners. Speaking about your feelings and experiences in a raw and very personal way does not change that. Last time, you told me you miss Luna so much it hurts. Last night, you got to spend time with her. How did it happen?”
She remembers everything.
“I went to her new place because I saw the photos of her mom’s wedding. She looked beautiful and happy, and thatzánganowent with her as her date. So, I was…”
“Jealous.”
“Yeah. I showed up. We argued.” I go through the whole story, including the times we went at it like savages, sharing details I could never tell anyone else but her and a priest.
When I finish, she asks, “Do you need some water?”
“Do you?” I shoot back.
“Yes.” Her response is so dry, I laugh, and she chuckles.
She grabs us bottles of water.
“Why did you say that to Luna at the end? It sounds like a curse.”
My body heats up all over again. “I was pissed. We spent this night together, and she took his call.”
“But you told her to answer. Was that just a taunt?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
She hums. “I think you do, Rio. What did you expect her to do?”
“Tell him to fuck off,” I almost yell and take a sip of my water.
“Because hermachowas there?”
I choke on the water and end up coughing, but I admit, “Yes.”
“Did you communicate to Luna that you expected to get back together after you spent the night together?”
“No. She didn’t want to talk, just fuck. Her words.”
Dr. Jacinda nods. “But you agreed.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I wanted her.”
“Then why would you expect her to say that to the person she’s seeing? Because it was a transformative dick experience?”
My mouth falls open, then I shake my head. “That’s not it.”
“Because that’s what you agreed to. You love this woman, but agreed to one night of just physical pleasure, knowing it wasn’t going to be enough.”
I don’t like the way she’s judging me. “Maybe I wanted to get her out of my system.”
“By being more intimate with her? This is the woman you took to the most sacred place in your heart. You trusted her with your mom when we—” she gestures back and forth between us “— had barely been able to touch the subject. Why on earth would you think this would be the way to get her out of your system?”
I hate the reminders, as if the memories of her in mycasitadon’t constantly live with me. I stand and walk to the window. There’s no air coming through them but just being able to look out into the street lets me breathe better. “I don’t know.”
“Dig deeper, Rio. You know the answer to this.”
“Because I want to know that she still loves me like I love her. That she still wants every part of me and finds it hard to sleep because I haven’t texted or called her. I wanted to see for myself that asshole wasn’t enough. I want her to forgive me.”
“But you told her that you want to haunt her.”
