Page 134 of Wishing for La Luna
Could I be… No, I can’t be.
“Oh shit, Sel.”
“What?” she asks, frowning.
“My period.”
“It’s coming?”
I shake my head. “No. I haven’t had one. It’s been over a month. And I kept forgetting to take my birth control pills, so I stopped them.”
Her eyes go impossibly wide, and her mouth drops open. “Oh shit.”
“Oh shit,” I repeat.
She waves her hand as if trying to slow down. “This doesn’t mean anything. You’ve been upset and under stress, and you just had the flu.” Her shoulders droop. “Oh fuck, Luna. You were barfing all over the place for days.”
“We need to find out.” I spring to my feet and start grabbing all the shit.
“Wait, we can’t go to a pharmacy and risk anyone seeing us. It’s fucking Miami. People know you, and if they don’t know you, they know Rio. All it takes is one photo of you or me in the prego aisle together.”
“Let’s order it online or from a pharmacy and have it delivered, then.”
And she does, while my mind races all over the place.
I marked you.
Now I fucked your home for you like you fucked mine for me. You don’t have a sanctuary like I don’t have mine because of you.
I hope you hear my voice in your ear and see images of us in every corner.
He cursed me, because now I may carry part of him inside my body.
31
Rio
“Sel is fucking evil,” Tito says, flinging his cell phone away. “I know that’s her doing.”
I reach for my phone and open it. It’s a photo slider on my Instagram feed. In the first one, Luna’s lying down on a towel, all gorgeous, glowing brown skin in a barely there red bathing suit. The image sends a flash of need straight down to my dick, because Luna naked against me is the ultimate fantasy I now beat off to.
But, it’s not meant to be. Luna back with me, laughing, kissing me, lying in my arms.
Not meant to be. She sent me tola mierda, and I’m already there, but I don’t see my way back.
“You need a minute with your phone?”
“Shut up, Tito,” I say, not looking at him. Instead, I put the phone down and return to my computer. I’m reading a book about oceanography, but I’m having trouble concentrating. There’s so much in my head. I handled it all wrong, and now I have lost her. I really did. All the signs are there. She blocked me and won’t talk to me. Sent mepa la mierda, but I can’t stop loving her.
And I have to stop bugging her. I can’t become one of those creeps who won’t take no for an answer or who makes her uncomfortable. And what happens when she gets a macho…
The thought sends a burn down my chest, and I reach for the one thing that calms me these days. I open my notebook and let my pain bleed on the page.
I jumped again
Down the cliff into the deep
Not because I’m reckless
