Page 35 of Property of BamBam
“No, I think you were working on an exit plan,” I refute. “His actions just expedited it, is all.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO
Olivia
I think about what he’s just said and realize he’s correct. Iwasputting money back wherever I could, and I always had our important documents in my backpack ‘just in case’ the opportunity came about that I could flee. “You’re right. I wasn’t sure how I was going to leave my hometown with no vehicle, but I was bound and determined when it came to getting the two of us out of there.”
“Sweetheart, you’re a good mom and an even better woman. You were just caught between a rock and a hard place when your parents died. If you’d have had anywhere else to go other than to his house, you would’ve gone there.”
“But I wouldn’t have Theo,” I tell him. “And if nothing else, he’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”
“And someday, he’ll have younger siblings,” he says, which has me blushing once again.
I mean, Jasper was an asshole which I can readily admit thanks to the various lists that Beth has had me doing, but he wasn’t an especially good or attentive lover. If anything, he was selfish, only worrying about his own gratification. I push back thoughts ofthatnight then suddenly blurt out, “If I had something I needed to tell you, but I wasn’t sure how to say it, would you be willing to sit in on one of my therapy sessions with Beth?”
It’s something she had suggested when I brought my fears up to her. Still, I’m worried that he won’t want to hear what I have to say. Only… he needs to know that I might appear to be getting my shit together, but inside, I’m still a bit of a basket case.
“Tell me when and where and I’ll be there, Livy,” he promises.
“She’ll be there when I get back. She comes to me now since I don’t have a vehicle and can’t travel back and forth without someone being available to give me a lift,” I reply.
“Then today’s the day,” he affirms. Reaching over, he takes my hand in his again. “There’snothingyou can say to me that’ll have me changing my mind, Livy. So, if that’s what has you so worried, don’t give it another thought, okay?”
“Okay,” I mumble, my mind a jumbled mess.
“Thelma? Those to-go orders ready?” he asks, seeing our waitress walk by with someone else’s order on her tray.
“I’ll have them at the register, BamBam.”
“BamBam, I know what Livy wants to share with you, and I also know how concerned she is about how you’ll receive thisinformation,” Beth says once the three of us are upstairs in the apartment. Marge took Theo downstairs and is watching him so I can focus on my therapy.
“I told her, and I’ll repeat it to you, there’s not a damn thing that she can tell me that will change how I feel about her or Theo,” he vows.
“Okay, Livy?” Beth asks. “Are you ready?”
I laugh but there’s no mirth behind the sound. “I wonder if I’ve built this up so much in my head that it seems worse than it really is,” I muse.
“Remember, your feelings, no matter what they are, will always be valid. It doesn’t matter how I take the news, or how BamBam takes it. You speak your truth, Livy. Always,” Beth decrees.
Taking a deep breath, I turn and grip his hands in mine so tightly that my knuckles are white. “Jasper going after Theo that day was the final straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back,” I start. “About a week earlier, maybe two weeks, although my memories are a bit hazy, Jasper came home after a day out with his friends, Wes and Alex, and all three of them were drunk. Thankfully, Theo was down for the night, because they kept drinking, and I was running around cooking for the three of them. While… while some of it isn’t clear, at some point, I drank some water and Jasper must have put something in it.” My voice drops to a whisper as it shakes, and I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks. “The three of them took turns raping me.”
One of his hands reaches out and I feel softness running across my cheeks. I realize Beth must have handed him some tissues, although I feel like his efforts are a lost cause, because the dam I’ve been holding back for months now has broken.
“I don’t… I don’t know for how long it went on, I just know that when Theo woke up early the next morning, I could barely move. In addition to what they did to me, they roughed me up, although that might have just been Jasper. It’s all a blur, BamBam, and I couldn’t face thinking about it to be totally honest.”
Strong arms engulf me as he pulls me onto his lap and holds me close. “Cry it out, sweetheart, I’ve got you,” he croons. “No one willeverhurt you like that again.”
For long minutes, the only sound in the room outside of the refrigerator’s hum, are my sobs as I allow all the emotions I bottled up from that long-ago night to be purged. When I finally stop, partially because my nose is so congested, I’m worried I’ll never breathe again, he’s once again cleaning my face from the tears. I refuse to think about the snot he’s likely wiping away because that’s just… ewww.
“How are you feeling, Livy?” Beth gently asks.
I take stock about where I’m at after dropping the bombshell of a lifetime on BamBam. “I feel freer. It doesn’t change the fact that it happened, but sharing it with you and now BamBam, I don’t feel the crippling weight I felt before, if that makes sense.”
“It makes perfect sense. What they did to you was a violation on multiple levels, Livy, and it’s obvious, at least to me, that the fact many of your memories are hazy, they likely drugged you to gain your compliance,” Beth states.
I giggle, which might not be appropriate, and at the questioning looks on both of their faces, I explain. “I think I might have fought, at least a little bit, because Jasper had scratches all overhis arms and his face. When I saw Wes and Alex a few days later, one of them had a black eye and the other had a split lip.”
