Page 25 of Beneath the Scars
“Caroline!” I scold.
She giggles like mad before finally calming down and taking this seriously. “I really am happy for you, Addie. Are you guys, like, dating, or is he your boyfriend? What’s the deal?”
I blow out of breath. “That’s sort of where the problem comes in. I don’t have a clue. The idea of Michael Montgomery being my boyfriend is so farfetched that I almost can’t even say it.” I’ve dreamed about being Michael’s since I was twelve, and yet the moment I get a chance to be with him, I’m terrified.
“What if he really only wants to be with me for sex? I mean, I am still a virgin. Some guys have a weird thing about taking a girl’s virginity. What if he’s just waiting around for me to give it up to him, and once he has it, he’s going to move on? What if?—”
Caroline interrupts me. “Okay, hold up. First of all, you and I both know that Michael would never have touched you if he only wanted to take your virginity. He loves you, and he loves Ryan way too much to be that kind of jackass. Secondly, given his kinky proclivities, communication is the key to that lifestyle. That’s the only thing that they say makes relationships work. Even if the relationship is only sexual, communication is the most important part. Michael isn’t a guy who’s going to skip over talking to get to the good stuff. If this were just sex, he would’ve said so.”
Logically, I know Caroline’s right. Michael wouldn’t have touched me with a ten-foot pole if all he wanted was sex. I don’t know how he found partners before me, but he’s not lacking in female attention. Any woman would throw herself at his feet in order to get him into their bed, myself included.
“The other thing you have to keep in mind,” Carolinecontinues, “is that Michael doesn’t date. I’ve never once seen or heard anything about him having a girlfriend. He may not even know this needs to be a conversation. To him, it’s probably just a done deal. You’re his. End of story. But you need to bring it up to him because he can’t know that it’s bothering you unless you tell him. That’s the whole point of talking about your limits before and after a scene. Neither one of you is a mind reader, so you have to tell him exactly what you want.”
I nod my head, knowing Caroline’s right. We’ve broken the seal on deciding to be in a relationship. Purely sexual or not, we’ve already done it. So now it’s time for me to buck up and actually talk to him about what I want.
“Ugh. I know you’re right,” I tell Caroline. “I’ll make sure we discuss it before we see each other again.” I narrow my eyes at her. “Now, tell me how you know so much about the BDSM lifestyle.”
Caroline mimes whistling as if she has no idea what I’m talking about. “I read lots of books.”
“Mm-hmm. Sure you do.”
“Hey, I do. They’re all romance books, but I read them, okay?”
“And you have all this knowledge because of books. You didn’t have a special, kinky instructor to guide you through this kind of stuff?”
Caroline makes a face, her shoulder sort of raising in a shrug. “Well, I mean, sure. I might have had a teacher or two tell me how this lifestyle works.”
I gasp. “You asshole! How could you not tell me that?”
Caroline starts giggling. “I don’t know. It just happened, and then it sort of happened again, but with an additional guy…and it was no big deal, okay? Let’s move on now.”
“Two guys?” I screech.
“Shh! I’m not talking about it.” Her cheeks are bright pink as she palms her face.
“This is not the end of this discussion, missy, but I’ll wait until you get home and can’t escape my clutches.”
Caro grins at me. “Fair enough. Tell me what else has been going on. How’s baby Nina? And Carson and Ginny?”
“Nina is so cute. You need to come home and meet her.”
“I swear, I’ll be there soon. I’ve almost finished these paintings, and once they’re done, I’m getting out of the desert. It’s so hot here. I need my beach again.”
“We don’t live on a beach.”
“The beach at the lake, duh.”
I crack up. Caroline has always been a hoot. She’s a free spirit who loves hard and plays harder.
As we talk, a text pops up on my phone.
Michael
Meet me at the lookout in half an hour.
“Ooh,” Caroline says. “Somebody just got a sexy text.”
Now it’s my turn to blush. “Michael just asked me to meet him.”
