Page 31 of Beneath the Scars
Chapter 16
Journal Entry #127
At what point does watching someone become stalking? Every day, I go to school and look for Addie. I stand by my locker like some pathetic asshole, waiting for her to walk down the hallway.
She always smells fantastic.
It’s stupid how many times I’ve had to force myself not to shove my nose in her hair and take a long whiff.
Which is fucking crazy.
Thinking about doing the same thing to any other girl makes my skin crawl. Thinking about running my nose up the smooth skin on Addie’s neck? I’m hard in an instant.
I’ve replayed our almost-kiss in my head so many times, it’s morphed into a fantasy where I yank her into my chest and kiss the hell out of her. I fucking wish that’s what I’d done.
She’s started making eye contact again though.
When those gorgeous brown eyes meet mine, everything inside me stills. For those few precious moments, I get to experience a peace like I’ve never known.
It’s intoxicating. And then she looks away, and the hole in my chest grows a little bigger. One of these days, she’ll start dating someone, and I’ll finally have to give her up.
Fuck knows I’m not good enough for her. And I sure as hell don’t believe her family would think otherwise, even if Addie still has feelings for me.
It’s all an unattainable fantasy.
Chapter 17
Michael
Gia slams her hands on Lottie’s dining room table. “No, no! You’re telling it wrong!”
Her identical twin sister, Ginny, rolls her eyes. “Fine. You tell it then.”
Gia flips her blonde hair over her shoulder. It’s about as long as Ginny’s now, hence the ridiculous story she’s telling. “So, we’re lying out by their pool, right? And the guy comes through the back gate with his arms full of pool cleaning stuff when he suddenly freezes, his eyes locked on the two of us. Ginny’s got Nina stuck to her boob while I’m lying there cracking up as this guy tries to reconcile seeing double. I swear, people never seem to remember we’re twins, and it kills me every time.”
Indulgent smiles line my friends’ faces as Gia continues to drunkenly explain how Ginny and Carson’s pool boy made a fool of himself—the poor man.
“How’s Addie settling in?”
Lottie’s question makes me freeze. Does she know? How could she? We’ve been discreet. Right? I glance at her only torealize she’s looking at Ryan. Fuck, my pulse is pounding in my ears.
After one of our many late-night phone calls, we decided this thing between us should stay between us until we’re ready for our families to know. They mean well, but they’re a bunch of nosy meddlers. Addie and I both want time to build a solid base before they get a chance to intrude.
“Just fine, as far as I know. Dad says she’s busier than ever, though he thinks she’s dating someone.”
Apparently, we’re not so discreet. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it would be nice to tell certain people before everyone else finds out—Ryan being the main one. What’s he going to say about this? What if he gets pissed and tells me he doesn’t want me to date his sister? I’m not sure we could go back to the way things were before.
Lottie’s eyebrows fly up her forehead. “Already?”
Ryan just shrugs. “I try not to get in the middle of it. She’s more than capable of taking care of herself.”
“Just as we taught her,” Gia quips.
Lottie’s husband, Teddy, brings another round of beers to the people who wanted one. He presses a kiss to the top of Lottie’s head before he sits next to her.
The easy affection between them is hard to watch. Not because I don’t want to see it. I’m just not sure I’ll ever have that easy connection with a partner, although I’ve more than become addicted to the feeling of Addie’s hand in mine. Will that be enough for her?
“I wonder who it is,” Ginny muses.
