Page 38 of Beneath the Scars
Mom ends up winning the game, no surprise to us all. She tends to do that a lot. Dad used to tease that it was the quietones you had to look out for. She’d just roll her eyes and blush furiously. Their relationship always made me envious. I dreamed of a man loving me the way Dad loves Mom. He worships the ground she walks on without hesitation, and Mom returns that love tenfold. It’s beautiful in its simplicity.
Of course, they always laugh when any of us kids says we think they have a perfect relationship. Then they remind us that they work very hard for their relationship.
I understand what they mean a little better now—what Michael and I are building will take a lot of hard work if we want it to be successful. We’ve got a long way to go before we’ll be as steadfast as my parents.
I’m willing to put in the work. Is Michael?
Chapter 21
Michael
Game night at the Jacksons’ house has always been one of my favorites. It’s loud, chaotic, and always hilarious.
Vivi loses spectacularly at every game despite her efforts. Addie’s mom, Hope, usually wins, and I follow closely behind her, especially if it’s a strategy-based game.
The first few times I joined them, I thought they were letting me win. I learned pretty quickly that the Jacksons do not go easy on anyone during game night.
Sometimes I felt like I was looking at a zoo exhibit or something. They were the perfect example of a family unit: a mom and dad in a loving relationship and the kids who got along with only the occasional sibling argument. I loved and envied it. None of them would ever know what it was like to have parents betray you. They’d never feel the gnawing hunger after days of being denied food.
I was glad they wouldn’t know that hurt.
But I was also jealous.
It took a lot of conversations with my therapist to stop feeling guilty about that jealousy. Why wouldn’t I feel jealous of what a happy family is supposed to look like?
The thing she always reminded me of was that I was a part of that family. I had incredible parents who loved me with their whole selves. I was also a part of the Jacksons’ family. They always invited me to participate in their events as if they knew I needed all the extra family I could get.
It took years not only to accept my place in the family but to believe I belonged there.
I’m elbow-deep in soapy water when Addie’s dad saunters in with his trademark grin. Uncle Levi is always happy. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him look cross about anything. There was disappointment when our friend group made some questionable choices, but never anger.
It was one of the many things I loved about hanging out with Ryan’s family.
“Hey, son. You doing okay?” Levi leans back against the counter, his arms and legs crossed in a relaxed pose.
I keep working on the dishes. “I’m fine. Ready for the summer tourist season to be over.”
“Cooper always says the same thing,” he says about his brother, our police chief.
“It gets worse every year. I’m grateful the town is thriving, but it’s a pain in the ass to deal with all the people.”
“It’s a blessing and a curse. Hope and Ryan are run ragged in the summers, but it provides a great cushion in the winter when it slows down.”
We’re quiet for a bit as I continue sloshing dishes around in the water. Uncle Levi moves to my other side to start drying the ones I’ve finished. I’ve never known him to stand still for longer than a few minutes at a time.
Once we’ve emptied the sink, he holds out a can of Coke to me. Everyone else was shooed out earlier when I offered to clean the kitchen. Their laughter floats down the hallway from the living room. I love that sound.
“Anything on your mind?”
My gaze flies to Uncle Levi’s. Does he know something about me and Addie? He gives me a look that answers that question. Of course he fucking does. He knows his kids better than anyone.
He confirms my suspicion before I can ask. “Addie has always worn her heart on her sleeve. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together when she started spending evenings out late and being cagey about the details. Not to mention the fact that three of you showed up together when Ryan only left to get you.”
I bite my lip, too afraid to look him in the eye. “Are you mad?”
“What? Mad? Why the hell would I be mad?”
I shrug, feeling like that teenager getting into trouble again.
