Page 60 of Beneath the Scars
I press a kiss to the top of Addie’s head. “Damn right. You’re stuck with me now.”
“There’s no one I’d rather be stuck with than you.”
“That was cheesy, even for you.”
Addie shrugs, not a single ounce of remorse on her face. “Maybe, but it was still true.”
I keep my arm wrapped around her shoulders for most of the evening. Now that I don’t have to hide my feelings for Addie, I have no desire to let her go. I’m having more fun than I’ve ever had at a family gathering. There’s something to be said about not having to walk on eggshells around the people you love the most. I hadn’t realized how shut down I’d kept myself while at these things.
Even when Addie wasn’t here, I didn’t feel comfortableenough to be myself. It has nothing to do with my family and everything to do with a made-up belief that I wasn’t worthy of their affection. I’ve always battled that feeling. Nothing about me is warm or welcoming, whereas my family embodies those qualities. How can they love a prickly asshole like me?
After opening myself up to Adalaide’s love, I’m realizing they’ve always accepted me as I am. It’s settled those insecurities in a way I’d never have predicted.
“I can’t believe you two have been keeping secrets from us,” Aunt Natalie chastises. Carson’s mom has wavy red hair that hasn’t changed since we were kids, and her emerald eyes have always sparkled as if she’s thinking of something funny. As the director of Sonoma’s library, she used to bring me library books when I wasn’t up for being around people. After reading them, I’d pass the cloth bag back to her like we were doing something secretive, and I loved feeling as if I was in on some conspiracy.
“Can you blame us?” Addie asks. “With these crazy people for a family, we didn’t have a choice if we wanted to have a moment of peace first.”
Natalie laughs. “You’ve got that right, kiddo. Well, we’re all over the moon for you both. Don’t let any of these nosy Nellies bother you, okay?”
“I’m pretty sure you’re the nosiest of them all,” Carson quips as he comes to stand by my side.
Natalie gasps. “Judas! I am not.”
Carson, Addie, and I just look at her, and she rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine. Sue me for being interested in your lives. Whatever. You’re all a bunch of assholes.”
She stomps off while we laugh at her retreat.
“I’m going to grab another drink. You want anything?” Addie asks.
I shake my head. “I’m good.” My gaze is stuck on her evenwhen she gets waylaid by Lottie’s and Gia and Ginny’s moms. I can only imagine the dirty details they’re trying to squeeze out of her.
“It’s good to see you happy,” Carson says quietly.
“Never thought it would turn out this way.”
“I didn’t either, but look at us now.” Carson watches Ginny as she grins at whatever story Gia is pontificating about. Ginny’s got Nina lying against her chest, her arms wrapped comfortably around her daughter’s little body. I’ve always related to Carson’s belief that his love for Ginny was unrequited. We were both prepared to watch the loves of our lives move on with other people and pretend as if we were happy for them.
Even after Carson and Ginny finally got together, I didn’t believe for a second it would happen for me. I was hiding way too many secrets to think Addie would be willing to take me on.
I’m still not quite sure how she’s willingly by my side despite knowing all my darkest desires. Not only does she know them, she matches them with her own. It’s incredible.
Addie looks at her watch before pulling her phone out of her back pocket. She smiles as she answers the call before her mouth quickly falls into a frown. I make my way over to where she’s standing on the side of the yard. She holds her hand out with her palm up, and I gratefully take it with a squeeze of support.
“What are you going to do?” Addie asks. “God, Zane. I’m so sorry. Do you want to come here for a bit? We’ve got plenty of places you can stay.”
My stomach tightens at that idea. It’s irrational, but I can’t help it.
“I’m serious. None of this is your fault. Just come stay at Mom and Dad’s until you can figure out yournext move. They won’t care.” She invites Zane to come to the family gathering since we’ll be here for a while longer before ending the call.
“What’s going on?” I should get an award for how smooth my voice comes out.
“Zane got laid off last week, and his landlord just told him the building he lives in is structurally unsound and everyone has to evacuate immediately. The poor guy hasn’t had it easy lately.”
“Jesus. That’s some shitty luck.”
“No kidding. Let’s go tell Mom and Dad I invited a houseguest to stay with them for a bit.”
I rub the back of my neck as I try to figure out how to ask Addie what I need. Of course, she picks up on my hesitance immediately.
