Page 64 of Beneath the Scars
“One of these days, you’ll accept that you’re safe now. It doesn’t seem like it just yet, but I can promise you the time will come.” Most people don’t understand why Shadow would escape the field only to stop on the other side of the fence. They don’t see that her goal isn’t to run away, but to ensure that she’s not trapped here if something bad happens again.
To people who have never had their trust broken, it doesn’t make sense. For people like me, I get it on a deep level.
I stand in the field for a while longer, soakingup the late afternoon sunshine. Shadow roams around, picking at the random spots of green grass she can find. My thoughts wander back to this morning.
Waking up to the sight of Adalaide Jackson in my bed was just about more than I could handle. She’d put up a pillow wall between us because she was worried she’d accidentally trigger me while we slept. I promptly took it down and told her a pillow wasn’t going to keep me away from her.
In the back of my head, I knew I should’ve been more worried about sleeping with her, but I’m so tired of living in fear every day. I’ve never been violent after having a nightmare, but I’ve also never allowed anyone to sleep next to me all night.
Luckily, she stayed on her side and I stayed on mine, so there weren’t any issues, but it would be foolhardy to think that will happen every time. I should call my therapist about it. She might have some ideas on how best to move forward into a normal relationship with Addie.
I’m procrastinating. I have no desire to work on the paperwork waiting for me back at the station. This little detour was a happenstance. I hadn’t heard anything about Shadow escaping recently, and I figured I’d check on her. Turns out my instinct was right on the money because I found her standing in the ditch, munching on some grass.
I quickly send a text to Mr. Lambert, letting him know I’ve returned Shadow to her field. He calls me a minute later while I’m walking back to my patrol car.
“Hey, Michael. Thanks for getting our stubborn girl situated.”
“It’s no problem. She basically put herself back in this time. I just had to open the gate.”
Mr. Lambert laughs. “I was hoping she had finally settled into her new life since she hasn’t tried to escape in a while.”
“I have a feeling it’ll be a little while until she tries again. She seemed to be happy to go back intoher field.”
“That’s good to hear. Listen, I’m sorry to trouble you, but your timing couldn’t be better. I was checking out one of my back pastures and came across something a bit strange.”
“Do you want me to meet you out there?”
“I don’t want to waste your time. It doesn’t look like anything is broken.”
“Did you happen to find remnants of a campsite?” I guess.
“Yeah, how did you know that?”
“We got a call to go out to Arthur Banner’s place a while back. Let me call in some backup, and we’ll take a look.”
“I’m not sure if all that’s necessary. If someone were desperate enough to sleep in my barn, I don’t want them to get in trouble for it.”
“You’re one of the best, Mr. Lambert. Still, we should try to figure out who’s struggling to get on their feet. We might be able to help them out.”
“True, true. Okay, come on back when y’all get here.”
Mr. Lambert gives me directions on how to get out to the barn, and I call in some help from the station.
Half an hour later, two other deputies and I are canvassing Mr. Lambert’s run-down barn. He wasn’t wrong in saying that whoever stayed here must’ve been desperate for a hideaway. It’s half open to the elements and looks one stiff breeze away from falling over.
Dad is off to the side, chatting with Mr. Lambert as we get things bagged and tagged. It only takes about twenty minutes to get through it all.
“How long has it been since you were last out here?” I ask.
“Couple o’ weeks, probably. I’d just hauled the last of the hay and thought I should do something about this barn. I haven’t decided if I want to tear it down or put some effort into fixing it up,” Mr. Lambert says. It’s on the back edge of his property line, but it could make a decent place to store his equipment when he’s in the middle of hay season.
“You’d probably be better off tearing it down and starting from scratch,” Dad tells him.
“I had the same thought.” Mr. Lambert turns to me. “Did you find anything to help you find this guy?”
“I think I got a decent print off the bowl he left behind. We’ll see if the techs can get anything from it.”
“I sure hope you can find whoever it is. I hate knowing someone was out here needing some help, and I had no clue. Me and the missus woulda given him a place to shelter down for the night.”
