Page 17 of My Gentleman Spy
Chapter Six
For someonewho was many miles from home and with an uncertain future, Hattie slept well. The only time she woke during the long night was when the revelers from the hotel's bar spilled out into the streets in the hour before dawn and started singing a loud sea shanty. At the sound of the less than Sunday hymn like tune, she rolled over in her bed and stuffed the pillow over herhead.
Her father, wherever on the high seas he was would be horrified to know that his daughter was sleeping above a tavern. She chortled softly before going back tosleep.
The morning however, found her in a more somber mood. Somewhere in the jumble of her dreams Hattie had seen the grief-stricken faces of her parents. She woke, sure in the knowledge that her parents believed herdead.
“How stupid could I have been? How selfish,” shecried.
While she had been sitting drinking wine with Will and enjoying the delights of the local cuisine, her parents were likely beside themselves withgrief.
No one had seen her jump from the ship. For all they knew she had fallen overboard somewhere far from land, never to be seenagain.
Seated on the edge of her bed, she hugged herself as sobbing shudders of guilt wracked herbody.
No matter what she thought of her parents' decision to take her to Africa, they did not deserve this cruel punishment. Worst of all, there was nothing she could do to alleviate their pain. A letter sent on the fastest ship would still take many weeks to catch up to them. She had made a rash decision and left others, including Will, to pay forit.
The damage wasdone.
When her maid knocked on the door a short while later, Hattie reluctantly allowed her in. The last thing she wanted to consider was which one of her pretty new gowns she was going to wear that day. The most she felt she deserved was to wear her old salt stained gown and get about barefoot.
Dressed in the plainest of her new gowns, she sat in front of the dressing table while her maid set her hair in a simple style. The maid had the good sense not to mention the tear stains on Hattie’s face and her bloodshoteyes.
There was a knock at the door, and Will’s voice drifted in from the hall. The maid quickly opened the door and Will stepped into theroom.
He took one look at Hattie’s face before turning to her maid and pointing toward thehall.
“Te importaria?” hesaid.
The maid scurried from the room and closed the door behindher.
Will came to Hattie’s side and looked at her reflection in the mirror. There was no hiding the fact that she had been crying. He put a gentle hand on hershoulder.
“Don't tell me you sat up all night thinking of your heartbroken fiancé and decided that he wasn't such a bad chap after all. That perhaps you had misunderstood his intentions and you should have stayed on the boat. If that is the case, I would suggest it is a little late for tearful regrets,” hesaid.
Hattie's tears began to fall once more. Not only had she caused her parents' untold misery through her actions, but because of the lies she had already told Will, she could not share her troubles with him. She was now trapped in a thickening web oflies.
“I didn't leave a note to tell my parents I was leaving with Peter. We eloped. My parents must be sick with worry as to my whereabouts,” sheexplained.
It was as close to the truth as she dared to tell him. And in a way, it was the truth. Her parents did not know where she was and, they would be left with the obvious conclusion that the very worst had befallen theirdaughter.
“We shall be back in England within the fortnight. I am certain that your safe return will overcome any anger or possible recriminations. Besides, any letter you wrote and sent from here, would probably leave on the same boat as us so you are just going to have to bear up and be patient. I promise to speak to your father and explain things on your behalf,” Willreplied.
Distressed though she was, Hattie noted the undercurrent within his words. Will was probing yet again. Seeking the truth in her story. Seeing if he could prise a little more of it from her lips. Though he did not know it, Will had given her the first hope for making amends with her parents. The first chance of redeeming herself in theireyes.
As soon as she was back in London, she would pen a letter to her parents in Freetown. She would explain it all. Her reluctance to marry Peter Brown. The certain knowledge that she was not cut out to be the wife of a missionary. And finally, the truth which had been the eventual catalyst for the drastic choice she hadmade.
That she was not prepared to abandon her friends in the filthy, rookery of St. Giles. Vulnerable friends who even now could be in deadly peril. It was because of them that she had finally found the courage to jump ship. She had found her calling with the weak and vulnerable of London, she owed it to them to go home. To continue herwork.
She wiped away the tears, acknowledging that there was nothing she could do to ease her parents suffering until she got home. With time, perhaps they would understand and forgive her. Will was right, until then she would just have to make the best ofthings.
She reached out and touched the sleeve of hisjacket.
“Thank you” shesaid.
“Good.”
They silently stared at one another in the reflection of the mirror for a minute longer, before the soft voice of Hattie's maid came from outside in the hallway. Will looked toward thedoor.
