Page 22 of Two of a Kind
“And if he doesn’t?”
“I will pack him up and take him back myself.”
Chapter Sixteen
Leah didn’t have to suck in her stomach as the modiste pulled on the tight bindings of the wedding gown. She held up her hand. “It is still too loose, but I don’t want it taken in again,” she said.
She met her mother’s gaze in the reflection of the dressing room mirror. “You have to stop losing weight, Leah. You already look drawn and pale. You don’t want Guy thinking he is marrying a stick creature now do you? And we can’t have society matrons making remarks about how sickly the bride looks,” said her mother. Mrs. Shepherd reached over and gave Leah’s cheeks a hard pinch. A small amount of color appeared on them before they returned to their dull pallor.
Unable to keep food down most days, she had lost significant weight since the betrothal announcement. What Guy thought of his future bride’s sudden weight loss, she really didn’t care. He had made it clear on more than one occasion that he wasn’t marrying her for her beauty.
“The matrons of thetoncan say what they like. As long as I turn up at the church on the wedding day, I am sure Guy will still marry me,” Leah replied.
Her mother snorted. The mornings of having new gowns fitted, followed by shopping for all manner of items to set up her new home, were beginning to meld into a never-ending torture for Leah. But Mrs. Shepherd was determined that her youngest daughter was turned out with not only a full trousseau, but all the linen and china she would likely need for the first years of marriage. And since Guy was footing the bill, no expense was being spared.
A full dining setting, including cutlery for twenty guests, had arrived at the Shepherd house earlier that week and it had taken three hours to unpack the boxes. Rather than simply having it delivered to his own home, Guy seemed at pains to show his future in-laws that he was a man of means. When her mother and sister finally left Leah alone with the stunning chinoiserie green dinner set, from Wedgwood and Byerley, she had sat at the end of the long dining table and simply stared at it.
Once they were married, Guy expected her to be the hostess of many dinner parties and private soirees, all of which would be designed to aid in his efforts to become not only a member of parliament, but at some future point, a member of the Prime Minister’s inner circle. Guy had his sights set on a cabinet post.
The modiste gave Mrs. Shepherd a questioning look.
“Should I take the gown in again, madam?”
Mrs. Shepherd huffed. “No. Leave it as it is. I shall have our cook add more potatoes to my daughter’s evening meal.”
“You have to eat Leah. Guy will be expecting you to provide him with a child as soon as possible, and for that you will need your health,” said her mother.
Leah swallowed the lump in her throat. The thought of sharing Guy’s bed made her feel nauseous. She had experienced enough of his hard kisses to know that he was likely to be the only one enjoying sexual activities in their bedroom. Her place was to learn what pleasured a man and then use it in order to seduce other men. All to further her husband’s political ambitions.
Mrs. Shepherd brushed a hand over the back of Leah’s neck and whispered into her ear. “Just do as he asks, and all will be well. Give him a few children and he will then do as most men do and find his pleasures elsewhere.”
Leah rallied and gave her mother a soft smile, but the tired eyes and sunken cheeks staring back at her in the mirror betrayed her deep unhappiness. She turned away for a moment, schooling her features into a socially acceptable bland expression.
Two more weeks of trying to hold her nerves steady would test her resolve to its limit, but she held onto the promise she had made herself at the betrothal party. Amid all the congratulations and warm wishes for the future, she had come to a fateful decision.
The fittings and shopping for the forthcoming wedding would continue. But she would not be marrying Guy. Her inspections of the decorating work underway at Guy’s house in Noel Street would go on. But she would not be marrying Guy. She would attend all the ‘at homes’ and lady’s mornings as directed by her mother. But she would not be marrying Guy.
The wedding gown was a stunning piece of elegant artistry. As with their betrothal party, Guy had insisted on his bride wearing a garment which would be the talk of the town. All eyes would be upon her at the wedding; she could just imagine what the guests would think of the opulent statement Guy Dannon was making with his money. Not a penny was being spared on this wedding. And for that Leah was grateful. Some of those pennies were now being directed to another cause. She had saved a coin here and put a farthing away there. Slowly, she was building a secret stash of money. Money she would use to escape.
And day after day, as the wedding drew closer, she repeated over and over again the same words in her mind:she would not be marrying Guy.
“How are you today?”
Leah shrugged. Her moods these days vacillated between despair and numbness.She was visiting Claire Radley at Fulham Palace, relieved to have a rare afternoon’s respite from her mother.
Mrs. Shepherd had put more planning into her daughter’s wedding and new home than Wellington had done to overthrow Napoleon. Why, only yesterday she had spent the better part of the day going from drapery to drapery across London in order to find the perfect curtain fabric which would match the green dining setting. Leah had followed, forcing herself to show the suitable amount of interest when it was required.
Today she could at least walk the grounds of the Bishop of London’s home and not have to worry about the minutiae of curtain fabrics and dinner plates. It was a blessed relief.
“I’m just content to be out in the fresh air and away from the whole wedding palaver. Guy has decided that we are to attend a ball or a party every night, right up to the week of the wedding. Between him and my mother, I am utterly exhausted,” Leah replied.
Claire gave her a look of sympathy. “I wish there was something I could do to help you. I thought perhaps at the beginning of all this that you were just a little shy of the idea of marrying Guy. But I have come to the realization that you don’t want to marry him.”
Leah stopped. She turned and looked back toward the main palace building.
Fulham Palace dated back many centuries, with the main structure having been built during the Tudor period. While Leah loved the grand residence, it was the famous walled garden that had won her heart. Privacy and peace could be found among the stunning collection of trees, shrubs, and flowers. Privacy which she now valued.
“Tell me, Claire. Are you serious in wishing to help me or was that just a kindness you offered?” she asked. The last thing she wanted was to put her faith in another of the Radley siblings and have them fail her. She caught the scowl on Claire’s face and shook her head. “I should not have asked. Forgive me.”
