Page 68 of Seduction
Penina Ross
We were staying in a two-bedroom suite. Each room was on either side of a step-down living room space and a small dining area with a table, a microwave, a Keurig coffee setup, and a case with snacks that could be charged to the room if either of us decided to treat ourselves.
Christine gave me time alone to unpack and shower the stickiness off my skin from the long day. As the water soaked my hair and poured down my face, it took my tears and the last scents of Jake I had left on me down the drain with it. I didn’t know whether to be brokenhearted about Jake or my mother. Also, never had I felt as though family was something I could rely on until observing my aunt’s grief.
Then there was my mom. I looked at the wall, wanting to punch it. I wasn’t angry with my mom, though. I was infuriated with myself for not trying to find her. She might not have been perfect, but I was a doctor who was very capable of meeting my mom where she was. I was so willing to give her the grace and space to be human. The fact that she’d died without me being able to offer the unconditional love she deserved was on me.
I understood why people slapped themselves in grief or banged their heads against the wall. It was my fault, all my fault. I broke down and wept, shrinking against the corner of the shower, letting the water spray me in the face.
Finally, at some point, I picked myself up off the floor, feeling drained by the pain, and moved on with my night.
I blow-dried my hair then tied my tresses in a bun for sleeping. When I went into the comfortably lit living room to say good night to Christine, she was sitting on the sofa, marking what appeared to be a manuscript.
“Good night, Christine.” My tone was apprehensive.
She looked up at me with a gentle smile. “You’ve been crying.”
If I had spoken, I would’ve cried some more, so I nodded stiffly.
She patted the sofa beside her. “Could you sit for a while?”
I was so happy she had offered that I didn’t hesitate before walking in front of the large piece of furniture and sitting. I let my shoulders slump and my chest cave in.
Smiling, Christine sat her manuscript on the coffee table. “You have a hefty job there, surgeon.”
“Yes, I do.”
“I heard you’re the top resident at your hospital,” she said.
My mouth fell open. “You checked on me?”
“All the time. You’re my niece. I love you.” Her smile caressed me again. “You used to be so exhausted during our visits while you were in college. Half the time, I didn’t think you knew whether you were coming or going.”
I smiled as I gazed down at my lap, sniffing and chuckling. “Those were hellish days.”
“Yeah, well… You’re in a very important profession. Not everyone is built to cut open a skull and tinker with a brain.”
She was still beaming at me, which was a refreshing reversal from earlier. I was the one who was bent out of shape.
“Sorry about earlier,” she said with a sigh. “Seeing you again brought back so many memories. I’m just so happy you’re here.”
“Me too.” I flicked my wrist. “And no apology necessary.”
Christine nodded thoughtfully then hiked her legs up on the sofa cushion and crossed them, making herself comfortable. “You never asked about your mother. Why?”
My eyes grew wide as I sat up straight, taking a few moments to come up with the right answer. “I don’t know. But…” I sighed. “I didn’t know much about her, that’s for sure. Like, where did you both grow up?”
Suddenly, Christine threw her hands up, palms facing me. “Then we’re really doing this?”
I jerked my head back slightly. “Doing what, per se?”
“You’re finally inquiring about your mother. Because I made a vow to myself to never tell you anything until you asked.”
Something within me shot up like a glowing stop sign. It also shouted, “Do not proceed,” “Turn back,” and “Enter at your own risk.”
“Um…” I leaned toward her, frowning. “Do I want to know?”
She narrowed her eyes, studying me intently. “Do you?”
