Page 107 of Midnight Between Us
“That’s a very different version of you than the one who arrived not long ago,” she says softly.
“Yeah, well.”I blow out a laugh.“That guy was a fucking prick.”
She gives me a look.The one that says, Shouldn’t you be redirecting your thoughts?Insulting my past actions doesn’t help me understand the past.It only helps hide the pain.
I sigh because the right thing to say is: “Fine.He was a survivor.A stubborn, defensive, emotionally constipated survivor who acted like a fucking asshole.”
Dr.Remington breathes in, slowly and deeply.I think it’s her way of not laughing.Because even with all the progress, I still deflect with humor the minute I feel exposed.Some habits die harder than others.
“Do you think I’m ready?”I ask.
“I think,” she says, tapping her tablet now instead of the pen, “you’re no longer trying to be perfect.That’s a start.But now you’re heading back into real life—real settings, real scenarios, real people with real stakes.That’s when the work gets messy.”
That knot in my chest—the one I thought I untied weeks ago—tightens again.Her words aren’t wrong.But they hit, like: “Congratulations.You’ve learned to float in shallow water.Now, we’re tossing you into the ocean.Don’t forget to swim, asshole, or you’ll drown, and this time, nobody will be there to save you.”
I nod anyway.
Then, take another breath and think about everything I’ve worked for, every inch of progress I’ve clawed through.The pain I stopped needing.The nights I didn’t spiral.The letters I wrote and rewrote but never sent—until one finally felt true enough to send to Simone.
What if none of it’s enough?
What if she doesn’t forgive me?
What if Lyndon looks me in the eye and says, I just wanted to see your face when I said, “fuck you”?
Then what?
I sit up straighter.My palms sweat.My heartbeat thuds like it’s searching for a rhythm it has forgotten.
Then I think, ‘I’ll keep going.’
If Simone doesn’t want me back, I’ll grieve her again.Properly, this time—with open eyes and a cracked heart.If Lyndon wants space, I’ll honor it.Because love doesn’t always mean reunion.Sometimes, it means showing up, even when you’re not asked to.
This isn’t the end.
Maybe it’s a door closing so another one can open.
And yeah, maybe that sounds like something off a shitty inspirational calendar, but there’s truth in it.
I’ll love them forever.
But I won’t stay frozen in that love.Not again.
Pain doesn’t own me anymore.It visits.It teaches.It reminds me I’m still alive and still trying.And that has to be enough.
At least for now.
ChapterFifty-Four
Simone
I’min the middle of a consultation when my phone rings.I check my watch just to make sure it’s not something important.My body freezes.It’s Lyndon.Lyndon never calls on a weekday, only on Sundays, unless there’s an emergency.The last time this happened was something like:My cousin Seth fucked up, and now we’ve got an entire cartel hunting the Deckers—I’ll be off the grid for a while.
Yeah.That was one of the most terrifying calls I’ve ever received in my life, and I’m not being dramatic.Okay, maybe a little.But still.My heart is already sprinting before I answer.
“If you’ll excuse me, this is an emergency.I’ll be right back,” I tell Mr.Lambert with a quick smile.
“Go ahead, dear.I’ll keep scrolling through the photo album.We’ve only made it to my second grandchild’s first tooth,” he says, completely unfazed.
