Page 28 of The Last Call Home
“Apparently not.”His lips twitch, dry amusement underlined with worry.
“What worries you?”I ask.
“My brothers.”The words slip out like he wasn’t ready to say them.“Hopper’s back with his kid and engaged.Ledger’s married.And now Atlas moved in and opened a fucking tattoo parlor.”
There’s a beat between us, loaded with ...well, who the fuck knows exactly?Our past, his story in this town, and how much things might be hurting.
I study him, looking for cracks.“And we don’t want them here because ...you hate them?”
He shakes his head.“I’m worried the Syndicate’s got their sights set on them.”
Mall tells me about the fires, explosion, accidents, and close calls—none of them feel random.If I were him, I’d be paranoid too.The kidnapping and bodies on his sister-in-law’s’ land are what brought me here.They needed someone to help the agent in charge.I wouldn’t be surprised if they send more soon.I wonder ifthemore is probably Atlas.
“Maybe Atlas knows how to defend himself?”I offer, trying to figure out how much he knows about his brother.
“He might.”Malerick’s jaw twitches.“As I mentioned, he helped rescue our sister-in-law.He handled weapons and fights too easily.The shop ...there are too many cameras for a parlor.Same contractor fixed his building and this one.I don’t know what to think.”
Which means he doesn’t know shit.I tuck that away.I’ve got enough fires to dance through without disclosing that I’ve worked with Atlas.Actually, I helped trained him when he began his career in the Organization.
“So ...”I draw the word out like a match.“What are we doing with Lilah?”
He frowns.“Lilah?Only Rosalinda calls her that.”
“I’ve decided that I do too.”
He groans, but there’s heat behind it.“Fuck if I know.I don’t want her caught in the crosshairs.”The way he says it—gritted, guttural—I believe him.There’s something in his voice that sounds too much like longing.
“Nothing will happen to her,” I assure him.
“She’s not a toy,” he adds, turning to me with eyes that used to undress me, then look away like I wasn’t enough to keep.“You can’t say ‘let’s fuck’ and then leave when you’re bored.Not with her.”
Okay, so we’re back to us and what happened so many years ago.
“Rachel wanted commitment.I was in my twenties,” I remind him.“Plus, she only wanted one person to commit to her.No more ...what exactly did she say?”I tap my chin a couple of times.“Oh right, ‘gay fuckery.’That ...those words were what made me say ‘fuck you’ and walk away.She didn’t see our relationship for what it was—or respected us for who we were.”
I pause.Let it hang, then add.“She didn’t see what we had.Thought it was just sex play.”
“But, what about me, Cassian?”
His question stabs me in places I pretend I’ve numbed.
“You said you loved her,” I answer instead.What I don’t say:You never said that to me.
He stares off into a space filled with regrets.“I ...I did, in a way.I thought I loved you both.”His voice dips.“It was so long ago.”
His next words are a whisper, almost like a confession he hasn’t admitted to himself.
“Delilah insists she only wants sex.”
There he is, my guy who’s starving for love and, in some way, believes he doesn’t need it and will settle for crumbs
That’s why he’s pulling back not only from me, but from Delilah.He’s hoping she’ll see him as more than just a friend with benefits.He hops she’ll crack the mask he wears for everyone.The man he hides because it’s fucking scary letting anyone inside.
He needs love and a family.People who won’t play him against one another, who will hold him when things get to be too much.He needs her ...probably.I mean she sounds like nice when you talk to her mother.I’ll just have to do my own research and make sure she’s what he needs.
Maybe while I’m here, I’ll help him get the girl.
Help her see him beneath the scowl and the silence, the gruffness he uses like armor.
