Page 41 of Before We Break Again
I let out a humorless laugh.“Just Mom being ...well, Mom.”
He raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t push.He doesn’t need to.He’s known my family long enough to understand exactly what my mom’s like—how she can drive me to the edge without even trying.There’s nothing to discuss, no point in rehashing the same old story.
I shake my head, forcing a smile I don’t really feel.“Come on,” I say, motioning toward the car waiting for us.“Let’s just go.We have to check on Santos and I have to discuss his case with Dr.Aldridge before he heads back to Baker’s Creek.”
As we walk to the car waiting for us, I feel a strange mixture of relief and dread settling into my bones.Quitting my job felt like closing a chapter, like breaking free from something that was holding me back.But no matter how far I run, my past always finds a way of catching up.My family, Brielle’s engagement, my mom’s endless expectations—it’s like I’m forever tangled in a web I can’t escape.
I can already hear her voice in my head, demanding that I take a few days off to “support my sister.”She’ll go on and on about how much more responsible Brielle is—how she always did what they asked without question.Mom wanted her to become a chef, and she did.Mom wanted her to start a cooking blog, and she did.Mom wanted her to marry a rich guy and ...well, looks like Brielle’s checking that box, too.
And then she’ll turn to me.She’ll ask when I’ll find a “nice guy” or why I can’t just go back to Carson.She’ll tell me I’m getting too old to be single, that my eggs are probably drying up, and what am I going to do with my life if I end up childless and alone?She’ll ask me, again, why I can’t be the daughter they tried to raise and not ...me.
The phone vibrates again, and I can’t help but groan as I see my mom’s name flash across the screen.Of course, I press the answer button before I can talk myself out of it.
“Mom, I’m busy.You need to respect my time.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” she cuts in, her voice dripping with that familiar condescension.“You never do anything we ask.All we ever wanted was for you to be part of this family, to do the small things.You can’t even manage that.This should’ve been your engagement party, but no—you had to go and ruin things with Carson.What happened there, Halsey?He was perfect for you.Reliable.Successful.But, of course, you didn’t appreciate him, did you?You never appreciate the good things.”
I feel my heart pounding in my chest, the anger bubbling just beneath the surface.But I don’t let it spill over—not here, not now.“Mom, this isn’t about Carson.I’ll try to make it to the party, okay?But I can’t promise anything.”
“You will be there, Halsey.You owe it to your sister after all she’s done for you.Do you understand?”
Something inside me snaps.“What has she ever done for me?”I bite back, my voice sharper than I intended.
“She sacrificed everything because you failed us.Remember when you were whoring around with those boys?”Her words are like venom, each one hitting me like a slap.“We moved because of you.We had to hide your shame.”
“Are you ever going to let that go?”I shout back, my voice trembling with barely contained rage.
“We forgave you, but we will never forget it,” she spits with the same cruel tone she’s used ever since I was sixteen.“That’s why you’re still single.No one wants a woman like you.Men know what you are.Maybe you should’ve kept your legs closed until marriage.But you’re running out of time, Halsey.You’re not getting any younger.When are you going to settle down?When are you going to be the daughter we raised, not this ...this disappointment?”
My hands are shaking now, the phone gripped so tightly I’m afraid it might shatter.“If you wanted me to be happy,” I seethe, “you wouldn’t be vicious every time I don’t do what you want.You wouldn’t have taken me away from them.”
“Halsey—” Dustin’s voice cuts through my fury as he gently takes the phone from my hand.I’m too stunned, too rattled, to stop him.
He brings the phone to his ear and, in a calm voice, says, “Mrs.Lahey, stop being so goddamn awful and hurtful.If you have nothing decent to say to Halsey, do us both a favor and don’t call her again.Have the day you deserve.”And with that, he hangs up, handing me the phone as if nothing just happened.
I stare at him, panic surging through me.“Why did you say that to my mother?”
“She deserved it,” he replies, his voice steady, as if what he did was perfectly normal.
“I ...”I falter, words escaping me.Because sometimes, I really don’t know what she deserves.All I know is that I’m tired—tired of fighting the same battles, tired of listening to the same old lectures, tired of being a failure in her eyes.
They’ll never see how they broke me, how they tore me apart when they ripped me away from home.Santos and Dustin were my home.We might’ve been too young, but we loved each other.There were so many ways they could’ve stopped us from making mistakes, but the way they handled everything was wrong.It was tragic, and they’ll never understand that.
I used to hold on to the hope that someday, somehow, we could mend our family.But now?Now I know that will never happen.They’ll never forget, and I’ll never forgive them.
And that’s the real tragedy.
ChapterTwenty-Two
Dustin
The driver takesus through the streets of Portland.It’s overcast but warm enough not to need a jacket, which I left in my duffel bag.Halsey sits beside me.She’s quiet, staring out the window.She’s been like that ever since I hung up on her mom and told her off.Someone should give me a medal because I measured my words.There’s a lot more that I could’ve told Mrs.Lahey, but I didn’t.
Halsey’s hand trembles slightly, still clenched in her lap, like she’s gripping the last thread of her composure.Her jaw is tight, her lips pressed into a thin line.
It’s not just anger—it’s that deep kind of hurt, the kind that twists and knots in your chest until you can barely breathe.
I saw it when she was talking on the phone, the way her voice would harden, then crack, as if she was trying to keep it all together but unraveling with every word her mother threw at her.She didn’t show it then, but I could tell—I could feel it—the way her heart was breaking all over again.What is going on with her and her family?
