Page 33 of Before We Break Again
Halsey was only eleven, younger than us, but she always seemed older.Wiser.She had that spark in her—sharp, adventurous, and unafraid to lead.Dustin and I always followed her, drawn to her confidence, to the way she made everything seem possible.I remember those nights like they were yesterday—summer evenings spent camping out in her backyard, all of us wrapped up in sleeping bags under the blanket of stars.
I can see it now: fireflies blinking in the twilight, the warm air around us making everything feel endless, infinite.We were in Dustin’s grandparents’ backyard, our sleeping bags close together.Halsey lay beside me, pointing up at the night sky, her finger tracing the constellations with the same certainty she had when she mapped out our futures.
“See that one?That’s Orion,” she’d say, her voice low but full of wonder.“The hunter.”
“And that one?”I’d ask, always wanting to hear her explain it again, to hear the way her voice softened when she talked about the stars.
She’d nudge me, smiling.“That’s Cassiopeia.The queen.She’s got the best view of the sky.They say she was so beautiful, she angered the gods.”
“Why’d the gods care about beauty?”Dustin would chime in from beside us, his voice teasing.
Halsey would smirk, knowing more than either of us.“It wasn’t her beauty—it was her arrogance.She thought she was better than everyone else, even the gods.So they punished her, made her watch the world forever from her throne in the stars.But some people say it wasn’t punishment.They say she’s still up there, watching over the ones she loves.”
I can still hear her in my head, even now.And I wonder—was Cassiopeia really being punished?Or was she just waiting, biding her time for the moment she’d come back to the ones she loved most?
Because that’s what it feels like now.Like Halsey has been up there, waiting, watching.And I’ve been down here, waiting, hoping for her return.Waiting for the chance to bring us all back together, like we were meant to be.
Maybe, like the queen in the stars, we were always supposed to find our way back to each other.
I remember the way Halsey’s eyes would light up when she talked about space, like she wasn’t just staring at stars but glimpsing at something much bigger, something beyond what any of us could understand.It wasn’t just curiosity—it was like she believed we could actually touch the stars if we tried hard enough.Whenever she spoke about the universe, there was a quiet intensity, like she carried a whole galaxy inside her.
Dustin, of course, would always throw in some ridiculous comment to break the seriousness, saying things like, “So, when do we book our flight to Mars?”He’d make us laugh, pulling us back to Earth, but even then, Halsey’s gaze stayed fixed on the sky.
We were just kids.Life was simpler then—no real problems, no broken pieces to pick up.Dustin and I would sneak out late at night with our heads full of stupid ideas.We’d climb trees, talk about becoming rock stars and hockey legends, like the future was a story we hadn’t written yet.
And Halsey ...Halsey would be watching from her window, her hair a mess of curls as she leaned against the glass, smiling.She never missed anything.Sometimes, we’d sneak through her window and stay with her for the night.We’d lie there, the three of us crammed into her bed, whispering and laughing until the early hours of the morning.
It was peaceful, like the world outside didn’t matter.It was just us, wrapped in the safety of knowing that nothing could touch us.We were a team.
Those days feel so distant now, like they belonged to another life.A life where we didn’t have to think about real-world problems, where my father didn’t control every move I made, and where Halsey was always there, keeping me grounded.Until one day, she wasn’t.
I open my eyes again, trying to shove the memories away, but they cling to me.Knowing soon I’ll see her again, knowing we’ll share the same space, has stirred something inside me I haven’t felt in years—hope, maybe.It could be fear.Or regret.Probably all of them.
I shift in the hospital bed, the stiff sheets pulling uncomfortably against my skin.The ache in my leg is dull but constant, though it’s nothing compared to the pressure building inside me.It feels like I’m suffocating, the air around me too thin, too heavy, making it impossible to breathe right.No amount of adjusting seems to help.I try to focus on the sterile white walls, the distant hum of the machines, anything to distract myself.But the memories—they cling to me, refusing to let go.
Halsey will be here soon.I’m about to see her again after all this time, and it terrifies me.Because what if ...what if seeing her just brings back everything I’ve tried to bury?What if she still carries that piece of me she took when she left?I take a shallow breath, but it’s like I can’t get enough air.
The idea of seeing Halsey again—it makes me feel like that twelve-year-old kid under the stars, back when the world made sense.But now?Now, everything’s different.We’re not kids anymore.Life isn’t as simple as it used to be.
A knock at the door interrupts my thoughts, pulling me back to the present.A nurse enters, checking my vitals, asking the usual questions.I give her half-hearted answers, my mind still spinning.She leaves, and the silence creeps back in, heavier than ever.
I stare at the text once again.I wonder if she’s thinking about me right now.If she’s remembering those nights in Blissful Meadows, those summers when we were invincible.Probably not.She’s got her own life now, her own career.She’s moved on.
But I can’t shake the feeling that maybe ...just maybe, seeing her again means something.Maybe the time she gives me while I recover can be used to convince her that we’re meant to be together, that I still love her, that ...there can still be an us.The three of us together, the way we planned when we were younger.
Maybe we can find our way back.
Or maybe I’m just setting myself up for more disappointment.
I close my eyes again, trying to push it all away.But Halsey’s face lingers, along with the memory of those stars in the night sky and the feeling that, for a little while, we had something real.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get that back.
But damn it, I want to try.
ChapterEighteen
Dustin
