Page 37 of Before We Break Again
I shrug casually, trying to appear unbothered.“Could be worse,” I say, my tone light as if this is just a day or two injury that doesn’t bother me one bit.
In truth, I’m terrified.Terrified of what comes next, of what my future looks like now that I’m off the ice.
“I’ll be fine,” I add still using the same casual tone.
Mills steps closer, his face kind, but still, I can’t quite read him.“We just wanted to check on you.Let you know we’re here for whatever you need.”He pauses, then says something that loosens the tightness in my chest, if only for a moment.“The team will be waiting for you—whenever you’re ready to come home ...to the ice.”
The ice.That word alone makes something inside me ease, like it’s a part of me, like no matter how far I drift, I’ll always find my way back.
“Thanks,” I reply, and this time, I mean it.“I really appreciate it.”
It’s not every day that the owner of the team and its captain make a special trip to tell you they’ve got your back.But no matter how much reassurance they try to offer, no words will be enough until I’m back in my skates, feeling the cold, familiar glide beneath my feet, ready for the next match.Ready to prove to myself that this injury didn’t take everything from me.
They shift the conversation to how the team’s doing, updates on the games I’ve missed—two.The playoffs are approaching fast, and the sting of knowing I’ll be on the sidelines while the rest of the team fights for the championship and then the cup.The ache in my leg is nothing compared to the ache of missing out.
“My father is going to rejoice,” I mutter sarcastically, trying to mask the bitterness creeping into my voice.He’ll use this, I know he will.I’m just surprised that he and my agent haven’t done any damage just yet.
Then Mills clears his throat, a seriousness in his tone that makes me look up.“Speaking of your father, your people requested to keep him away from the hospital,” he states.“I want to reassure you that security has been notified and we’ll have people around the clock to assure that he doesn’t step foot in here.”
I blink, trying to process his words.“Wait, what?”Who asked for that?What people?“I mean, I’m glad he won’t be here, but ...I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
Caspian steps in, his voice firm.“We want to make sure you’re recovering, not stressing over the little things,” he reassures me.“You, like everyone else on the team, are family.”
I stare at them, a mix of relief and disbelief washing over me.I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed to hear that.For the first time in what feels like forever, the suffocating presence of my father feels ...manageable.I just want to know how the fuck I requested that without opening my mouth.Who are my people?
Dustin ...maybe?Is that what he meant when he said it was done?My mind latches onto his cryptic words, trying to untangle their meaning.But does it even matter right now?
“Thank you,” I manage to say, though my voice comes out quieter than I intended.It’s all I can muster with everything closing in on me.It all feels overwhelming, like I’m being pulled under by a tide I can’t fight.
Caspian gives me a nod, then reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a sleek business card.“And, uh ...here,” he says, handing it to me.“My agent’s number.I heard you’re in the market for a new guy, and Fitzhenry Everhart is one of the best.”
I stare at the card, feeling like the world has just shifted in a way I can’t quite grasp.His agent?He’s offering me his agent?My fingers curl around the card, the smooth surface unfamiliar in my hand as I try to wrap my head around it.
“Umm, thank you,” I reply, confused.
This feels like the twilight zone.A world where my father has no say and I can make my own decisions—where other people seem to understand me and want to help.
“Whenever you’re ready to make some changes, give him a call.He’ll take care of you,” Caspian promises, his tone so confident, that for a fleeting second, I feel like things might actually be okay.
But before I can respond, Mills speaks up.“And just so you know ...if you ever feel comfortable sharing—your private life, whatever it is—we’ll back you.The whole team will.”
Those words hit me like a punch to the gut.I freeze, my mind scrambling, heart racing.What do they know?My pulse quickens as my thoughts race ahead of me, trying to piece it together.What are they trying to say?Who talked to them?Dustin.I don’t know what he said, but whatever it was, I’ll probably kill him the next time I see him.
It’s overwhelming, even though their intentions seem good, almost too good.I can’t figure out how to feel about it.I don’t know how to respond, so I just nod, offering a weak, “Thanks.”I hope that’s enough, that it’s the right answer, because right now, I can’t trust my voice to say anything more.
After they leave, the room feels both too big and too small at the same time.My mind’s still spinning, replaying their words over and over, but I don’t get much time to process it before the door opens again, and in walks the surgeon with the team’s physician right behind him.
This time, I force myself to focus.No more zoning out.No more pretending like none of this matters.I do it not only because Halsey requested it, but because it’s my life on the line now, and I can’t afford to drift off into my thoughts again.
“You’ll be staying here for a few more days,” the surgeon begins, his voice calm, measured, like he’s done this a thousand times.“After that, your recovery is up to you.You can head to The Aldridge Sports Therapy Center in Baker’s Creek or stay here.We’ll refer you to a state-of-the-art facility that can handle your recovery.”
I nod, trying to absorb the information, but it feels like everything’s coming at me too fast.It’s not really up to me, is it?I have two choices.I could go to Baker’s Creek, maybe stay with Dustin in Happy Springs—or I could stay home and find a facility nearby.Both options sound better than what my father wanted to force me to do, but ...what’s Halsey’s role in all of this?Should I ask him about her?
Halsey told me to pay attention, but I wasn’t ready for this.It takes a second for the surgeon’s words to fully sink in, like I’m standing on the edge of something huge.This decision—it’s not just about my physical recovery.It’s about my future, about the direction my life is going to take from here.
I glance between the surgeon and the physician, trying to keep my voice steady, though it wavers slightly.“I’ll ...what does Halsey think?”I dare to ask.She said she’d talk to the surgeon, but now I’m not so sure.
The surgeon raises an eyebrow, clearly surprised.“Though Dr.Lahey let me know that she’s a part of your team, I didn’t discuss any of this with her.I trust her judgment, but HIPAA prevents me from discussing your treatment with third parties or family without your signed consent.We only talked about things that are public knowledge.”He pauses for a beat, then adds, “What is she to you?”
