Page 44 of Before We Break Again
With that, we head down the hall, the quiet hum of the hospital growing louder in the stillness around us.Each step feels heavier, like the air between us is filled with everything unsaid, everything we’ve been carrying for so long.But we walk together, side by side, moving toward something that feels like it could break us or heal us—maybe both.
When we reach Santos’s room, the door creaks softly as I push it open, and the faint sound of the machines greets us, steady and rhythmic.There, sitting up in the hospital bed, is San—his skin a sickly pallor but his eyes bright as soon as they land on Halsey.
A slow, tired grin spreads across his face, lighting up his entire expression.His eyes flick between the two of us, and then, without saying a word, he mouths,Thank you, his gaze locking with mine.
I give him a small nod, feeling something stir inside me—relief, maybe.Or perhaps it’s that familiar connection we’ve always shared, the kind that doesn’t need words.The kind that tells me, despite everything, we’re still in this together.
Halsey steps forward first, her eyes softening as she reaches for Santos’s hand, cradling it gently between her own.“Hey, troublemaker,” she teases, her tone light, though I can hear the relief beneath it.“If you wanted to see me, you should’ve just used your words.This was unnecessary drama.”
Santos chuckles, though it’s a little strained, his eyes crinkling with that familiar mischief.“If I knew getting hurt would bring you here, I would’ve broken something else years ago,” he shoots back, his voice warm but tired.
Halsey rolls her eyes, though there’s a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.“You’re insufferable.”
“I’m hopeful.Do you think ...do you think things will get better?”he asks.
She nods.“You ever notice how the stars seem brighter after the worst nights?”Her voice softens, the playful edge giving way to something more reflective.“Like, even after everything falls apart, they’re still there.Still shining.Makes you wonder ...if maybe the worst things have to happen for you to really see the light.”
Halsey’s hand tightens around his, her eyes searching his face hoping he understood the meaning behind her words.But he just looks back at her.
I stand at the edge of the room, watching, feeling like the stars she’s talking about might be just beyond the window—waiting for us, waiting for whatever comes next.And somehow, it feels like this moment is only the beginning of something none of us are ready to face just yet.
But soon enough, we will.
I watch them for a moment—Halsey’s hand wrapped around his.The quiet connection that’s always existed between them is there.It’s the kind of moment that doesn’t need interruptions, and maybe, just maybe, I’m the one who doesn’t belong here right now.They need this.They deserve this.
Quietly, I step back, retreating toward the door.Neither of them notices as I slip out into the hallway, but that’s how it should be.It’s their time now.
ChapterTwenty-Three
Santos
Somehow,I’m not surprised that she brings up the stars and how beautifully she tells me that it’ll all be fine.
I pat the side of the bed, my arm open in invitation, hoping she’ll crawl in next to me.I need to feel her there—her head resting on my shoulder, her breath soft against my neck.“I missed you,” I murmur, my voice low and filled with something deeper than just words.
“You did, huh?”she teases, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
Carefully, she climbs onto the bed, mindful not to disturb the IV or the mess of tubes and wires.Her movements are gentle, deliberate, as she nestles against me, her body fitting perfectly into the space beside mine, like it used to be, like it always should do.My leg, still wrapped tight from surgery, lies on the opposite side, and for the first time since everything happened, I don’t feel quite as broken.
I glance around the room and notice the empty chair.“Where the fuck did Dusty go?”I ask, realizing he slipped out while we were talking.
She sighs, her fingers tracing small circles on my chest.“He better not be doing anything stupid.”There’s a tiredness in her voice, the kind that comes from worrying too much about the people you care about.She shakes her head, resting it on my shoulder.“I worry about him.I worry about you.”
I kiss the top of her head, inhaling the familiar scent of her hair, letting it ground me.“Have a little faith in him,” I whisper.
“Easy for you to say,” she replies, her voice soft but edged with concern.“You didn’t see him last night.He was trembling, losing it ...I’ve never seen him like that.”
“No, but I’ve seen him on other nights,” I say quietly, my hand running through her hair.“When I’m driving him to rehab, hoping this time it’ll stick.Hoping ...he finds a reason to live.”
Her body stiffens slightly, and she sighs.“But it doesn’t stick, does it?”
I pull her closer, my arm wrapping around her as she buries herself deeper into me.There’s a warmth there, a comfort I didn’t realize how much I’d been missing until this very moment.“I missed this,” I whisper, my lips brushing the top of her head.“Us.”
She closes her eyes, letting herself sink into the moment.“I missed your heartbeat,” she whispers back, her voice barely audible, as if confessing something fragile, something only we could understand.“He should be here, you know.I hate when he thinks he’s a third wheel, and not our third soul.”
“He’s probably giving me some alone time with you,” I say, trying to lighten the air between us.“It’s been years since I’ve been this close to you.He’s already had his Halsey time.”
Halsey flinches, her expression shifting as she looks down.“It was mostly talking, him convincing me to come with him.There were no cuddles or ...”Her voice trails off, her gaze drifting toward the closed door, as if expecting Dustin to walk back in any moment.
