Page 4 of Before We Break Again
No matter what he’s done, I still lovethem.
Both of them.
That part has never changed.And do I miss the fuck out of Halsey?Every day since they took her from us.I wish ...Fuck, there’s so much I wish for.So many dreams I’ve clung to, even though they’re impossible now.But unlike everything else in my life, I can’t reach for them.I can’t reach out for her.It’s because I love her that I stay away.
And while I’m stuck here in this hospital bed, helpless, he’s controlling the narrative, making sure the headlines say it was the famous musician Dustin Haverbrook caught kissing another man—not me.Some outlets are even spinning it into a story about a friendly kiss on the cheek.Everyone knows we’re childhood friends, but there’s only so much Dad can do to erase one of his worst nightmares from the world.
But the truth?The truth is so much more complicated.We are ...everything and nothing.
We’re what’s left of a dream.
Hals created that dream, and when they ripped her away, we couldn’t survive the absence.We were shattered without her.Now, we take what we can, when we can.Mostly when I’m too exhausted—too exhausted by the world, by the lies, and too fucking drunk to care.
But even then, it’s never enough.Not really.No matter how much we try to fill the emptiness, no matter how many times we fuck, it never drowns out the ache she left behind.It’s just a temporary fix—a way to feel something, anything, other than the constant void her absence carved into us.
Some nights, I lie awake, wondering if she ever thinks about us.If she remembers what we were.If she wonders what we could’ve been, if they hadn’t taken her away.Or maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference.Maybe we were doomed to fall apart, even before she walked out of our lives.
I keep telling myself that it’s better this way, that we’ve moved on.But deep down, I know we haven’t.We’re stuck.Stuck in this endless loop, reliving the past, clinging to whatever scraps of connection we can still find—even if they’re broken.
Even if we’re broken.
ChapterTwo
Dustin
“Haveyou been on social media lately?”Gavin, my manager, asks as he strides into my house like he’s about to drop a bomb.
“I hate social media,” I grumble, already bracing myself for whatever gossip he’s about to drop.
“Checked the internet at all?”he presses, and I can sense the tension in his voice.
“What the fuck did I do now?”I mutter, resigned to listen to some nonsense the social media posted about me.
Isn’t this why I pay him?To make these problems go away?Not to let them drag on like this, drawing out every piece of bad news as if it’s a game ofGuess Who Tried to Fuck You Now.
It’s not like I care much.This is just another chapter in the ongoing shitshow that’s been my life.
Scandals, headlines, gossip—I’ve lived through it all.I’m Dustin Haverbrook, son of Warren Haverbrook: prodigy musician, the focal point of a very public divorce, and walking scandal magnet.Add a few DUIs, a string of messy breakups, and a couple of false overdose rumors for good measure.
And of course, the tragedy that still haunts me—my parents’ fatal car accident.Both were drunk.Both high.No one ever confirmed who was driving, or what really happened that night.
I still don’t understand why they were even in the same car.After such a bitter, well-publicized divorce, they shouldn’t have been speaking, let alone sharing a ride.But one morning, I woke up to the news that my parents were gone, and suddenly, I was being shipped off to live with my grandparents in Blissful Meadows, Connecticut.
Blissful Meadows wasn’t just any small town.It felt like something out of a dream—untouched by time, where summers were golden, and the air always smelled like pine and fresh-cut grass.
A place where life seemed simpler, where kids rode their bikes down tree-lined streets, and the neighbors still brought casseroles when someone moved in.The kind of place where time slowed down, just enough for you to breathe.
It became my happy place.My escape.The place where everything changed.
It’s where I first sawher.Where I foundthem.
Halsey and Santos didn’t just let me into their world—they made me feel like I belonged there.Like I had always belonged.Like I was worthy of love.They tried to put the broken pieces of me back together.And for a while, they almost did.Blissful Meadows became the place where I was theirs, and they became my everything.
Blissful Meadows, where I fell in love with both of them—Halsey and Santos.
It’s where everything felt simpler, yet impossibly complicated.The air was always thick with summer heat and big dreams.We’d talk about our futures like we could shape them into anything we wanted.
In the winter, the town would fall quiet under a blanket of snow, like it was holding its breath.We’d huddle together, sharing secrets under a warm blanket, our laughter cutting through the stillness.
