Page 68 of Before We Break Again
We step inside, the warmth of the house wrapping around us like a blanket, soft and comforting after the long, tense evening.
I notice Halsey lingering by the window, her gaze lifted toward the sky.The night has fully settled now, and through the enormous floor-to-ceiling glass, the stars are beginning to show themselves, brilliant and endless.
The sky is so clear here that it feels like you can reach out and touch them.Orion’s belt shines brightest, the familiar three stars lined up perfectly, leading to the rest of the constellation.The Big Dipper is also clear, its shape unmistakable as it hangs over the treetops, and to the west, Cassiopeia’s elegant, winding ‘W’ sparkles above the lake.
She turns toward us, her eyes still on the stars, her voice soft but certain.“Look at them,” she says, her hand gently gesturing toward the window.“The stars ...they’re all aligned tonight.It’s like they’re reminding us ...that this makes sense.Us.”
Her words hang in the air, and I follow her gaze.She’s right.There’s something about the way the stars have aligned tonight, something that feels impossibly perfect, as if the universe itself is nudging us forward, telling us that maybe, just maybe, this is where we’re supposed to be.Together.
“Orion, Cassiopeia, the Big Dipper ...”she lists them quietly, almost to herself.“It’s like ...they’re watching over us.”
I step closer, looking up at the same stars she’s seeing, and for the first time in a while, I feel a sense of calm wash over me.Maybe she’s right.Maybe this is the moment the universe has been pushing us toward all along—through the chaos, the confusion, the heartbreak.The stars have been there the whole time, aligning slowly, waiting for us to notice.
“Feels like a sign,” I murmur, half to myself.Santos stands beside me, his eyes flicking toward the sky too, and for a moment, we’re all just ...still.Standing there, bathed in the quiet light of the stars, it feels like everything is finally starting to make sense.
“Yeah,” Santos says softly, his voice carrying that same quiet wonder.“Maybe it is.”
He pauses, his eyes still fixed on the stars.“Come to my room,” Santos mutters.“You can see them better from there.The stars ...we can watch them from my bed.And it’s big enough for the three of us.”
“Like when we were kids, and we’d sneak into her room at night so she wouldn’t be alone?”I ask because that was the excuse, but sometimes it was me who needed the other two.
Halsey glances at me and then at him, her expression softening in the moonlight, and for a moment, it feels like the universe holds its breath.She nods, a small, almost imperceptible gesture, but it feels like the stars themselves are approving, nudging us all toward something we’ve been too scared to fully embrace.
Without a word, we follow.
ChapterThirty-Five
Santos
I wakeup with Halsey in my arms, her head resting against my chest, her breathing soft and steady.The first thing I notice is the warmth of her body pressed against mine, a comfort I didn’t realize I’d missed until now.It’s still early, the soft light of morning slipping through the cracks of the blinds, casting faint shadows across the room.
Dustin isn’t here.He must’ve slipped out sometime in the night, though I don’t remember him leaving.All I know is that we fell asleep together, Halsey nestled between us, like old times.But this wasn’t like before.
Back then, when we were just kids, sharing a bed was nothing more than a refuge from the world, a place where nothing could touch us.But now, it’s different.We’re not children anymore.We’re three adults trying to bridge the gaps that have widened over the years—gaps filled with complications, truths we’ve avoided, and time that changed us.
And yet, after last night, I feel like things can change.Something shifted between us—something real, something fragile, but there.Even with all the complications, the unhealed scars, and the questions still hanging in the air, I believe we can make it through.Because for the first time in a long time, I see the possibility of us again—not just a fragmented memory of who we used to be, but a throuple, whole and together.
There’s beauty in the mess we’ve become.We’re not perfect, but maybe that’s okay.Maybe we’re meant to love each other in the imperfections, to find our way through the cracks.Last night wasn’t a solution, but it was a beginning.It was a reminder that even when things fall apart, we can still rebuild, piece by piece, if we’re willing to fight for it.
I brush a strand of hair from Halsey’s face, careful not to wake her just yet.I realize how much I’ve missed this—the closeness, the intimacy we used to share without thinking twice.It’s like we were always one person in two different bodies.Inseparable.
I shift slightly, careful not to disturb her.But Halsey stirs in her sleep, her hand lightly gripping my shirt as if she’s soothing herself, even in her dreams.I watch her for a moment, my mind racing, thinking about how far we’ve drifted and how close we feel right now, in this fragile morning light.It’s confusing, but it’s also ...real.The kind of real we’ve been avoiding for too long.
Slowly, her eyes flutter open.She blinks a few times, disoriented, before her gaze meets mine.“Morning,” she whispers, her voice raspy with sleep.
“Morning,” I reply, my voice barely louder than a murmur.I don’t want to break the delicate peace we’ve somehow stumbled into.
She shifts, propping herself up on one elbow, her gaze flickering toward the empty space beside us where Dustin had been.“He left?”
“Yeah,” I say softly, “sometime during the night or probably too early in the morning to help the farmhands.”
She nods.“One day I’ll wake up early enough to help him.”Then she looks between us.“I miss this.I miss us.”
I shift closer, my arm instinctively tightening around her.“I miss it too,” I admit, my voice low.“I miss you.I miss him.I miss how easy things used to be.”
She turns her head, her eyes locking onto mine, and for the first time in a while, we’re not hiding behind our usual walls.There’s no bravado, no masks—just us, stripped down to the truth of what we’ve been missing.
“It’s hard,” she says, her voice trembling slightly.“Being here, with both of you, and not knowing how to be.We’re so close, but it feels like we’re miles apart sometimes.Like we’re all just ...stuck.”
