Page 57 of Fake it 'Til Christmas
All I can do is ask Gretchen to send flowers, a pumpkin-spiced latte from the local coffee shop close to the house, and chocolates.Later, I’ll text her; maybe we can go back to the way things were before I opened my big mouth and changed our dynamic.
Can that even happen?
ChapterTwenty-Two
Win: The flowers seemed like a cute detail.The latte a little forced, and now I’m beginning to think that those chocolates are guilt chocolates.
Soren: Guilt chocolates?
Win:Yes, you give them to me every time you ruin something.
Soren: What did I ruin that last time I handed you chocolates?
Win:My mood, it’s always my mood.
Soren: Wouldn’t they be moody chocolates?
Win:Do not start with me, Soren, or I swear ...fuck.I can’t believe you just left.When did you leave, by the way?You never asked me to take care of your dead ficus.
Soren: We already established I don’t have a ficus.
Win:Because you killed it.I would’ve been happy to water it before you destroyed it.
Soren: If you need a ficus, I’ll have Gretchen order you one.Hell, I’ll get you a ficus farm.
Win:I don’t need a ficus.I probably need a dog.
Soren: You can’t take care of a dog.You’re too busy pretending you’re not unraveling.
Win:I thought you wanted to give me something to feel better for ...well, you know what you did, Soren.
Soren: I’ll do whatever you want to make it up to you, Fred.
Win:Don’t call me Fred.That’s two strikes.
Soren: Fine.What do you want in exchange for not cutting me out of your life like last season’s throw pillows?
Win:It’s hard to think what could bring me joy.
Soren: ((stares suspiciously))
Win:Don’t you stare at me when I’m unraveling.What are you suspicious about?I should be the one wondering what you did that you had to run away to another country.
Soren: How do you know I’m in another country?
Win:It’s called the Winterberry telepathic system.
Soren: The what?
Win:I believe everyone in this town communicates telepathically.
Soren: That’s impossible.
Win:Either way, my grandmother learned it from Grandma Rita, who learned from your mom, who called your assistant to figure out why you’re avoiding her calls.
Soren: That’s ...wow, I think I need to fire my assistant.
Win:Don’t you dare take away her job just because she can’t take the pressure of a small-town matriarch.Those women are tougher than any agent.They’ll make you sweat, cry, and scream until you confess.
