Page 65 of Fake it 'Til Christmas

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Soren: Too late.I’ll be the most tender.Wait until I see you again.I will be the best boyfriend in the world.

Soren: You okay over there?

Winnifred: No.I might fall in love with you at fifty percent if you continue this trend.

Soren: Fifty percent sounds oddly specific.

Winnifred: I can’t help it.What are you going to do if I get to one hundred percent?

Soren: I’ll probably have to catch up—unless I’m already there.

Winnifred: I need to work and leave you with your nonsense.Text tomorrow?

Soren: I’ll try, but it’s going to be a long day.

ChapterTwenty-Five

Winnifred: I bought us matching costumes.

Soren: I said no tights.

Winnifred: You’re lucky.I pivoted to 90s nostalgia.

Soren: If this involves suspenders or fanny packs, we’re done.

Winnifred: You wish.We’re going as Ross and Rachel—their 80s era.

Soren: Wait, is it 90s or 80s?I’m confused.

Winnifred: It’s both.Send me your address so I can have this shipped to you by tomorrow.

Soren: I’ll have my assistant send you a courier

Winnifred: Courier?Where do you work?Someone told me you’re a gazillionaire and live in a mansion.

Soren: Do I live in a mansion, Win?

Winnifred: I almost told them it was a lie, but then I’d have to tell them we’re neighbors, and they might realize this is all fake.

Soren: Good call.I ordered you a candy bouquet.

Winnifred: Are you wooing me?

Soren: I’m buying us more credibility.You can post that on your social media next to our baby ficus.

Winnifred: I’ll fake-swoon when it arrives.Do you think I should buy a costume for Pretzel?

Soren: Pretzel isn’t real.

Winnifred: Then who’s wearing this tiny cape and judgmental frown?

Soren: Win, tell me you didn’t adopt a dog.

Winnifred: Only because that would imply finding a sitter for Thanksgiving.Do you know how hard it is to find one?

Soren: I remember you being a hot commodity during the holidays.

Winnifred: Exactly.When we adopt a puppy, it’s because we’ll have a reliable helper.

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