Page 53 of No Apologies
She bit her lip to stifle a full grin. Whole. That was the word for it. She felt it too. She felt whole when they were joined like this. He had to feel that too.
Instead of voicing that, she squeezed her muscles, “Just good?”
“Oh, holy fuck…” Colt’s hips jolted forward and she felt him twitch inside of her, “I’m not too old to ignore an invitation, Sky. Do that again and you’re not gettin’ any sleep tonight.”
She did it again.
“Goddamnit, you’re evil.” He groaned and pulled her hips back against his again as his semi-hard erection came back to life.
“I thought I was an angel?” She teased as she set a gentle, rocking motion.
“You are. Fuck, yeah you are. You have to be because this. Is. Heaven.”
He punctuated each of his words with a push of his hips and she moaned as she felt him harden again just that fast. She’d been teasing him. Now their roles were reversed. Because that was all it took to make her want him again.
“Colt.”
He chuckled and it was dark, menacing and gleeful. The sound sent chills down her spine. That was the man she knew and loved and she wasn’t letting him go. If she had to tame him with orgasms, then so be it. She was getting forever with her Bomar boy, even if this angel had to walk through hell to make it happen.
The second time Skylar woke, daylight beamed in through the curtains on the window and she knew instantly that she was alone. There was no heavy body pressing hers into the mattress. There was no lingering heat on the sheets. The only proof that her bed had been occupied by the man of her dreams was the lingering scent of him all over her and the scream of her muscles when she stretched.
She sucked in a lungful of his delicious scent… and promptly burst into tears.
She was a complete and total mess. She was needy and emotional. She’d never cried over a man. Never. Yet here she was, curled up in her empty bed for the second day in a row, shedding tears for that big, beautiful bastard that she was surer than ever was destined to break her heart.
Every second of last night played through her head in slow motion. Every touch. Every kiss. Every muttered word. She heard Colt tell her she was beautiful. That she was perfect. That she’d been made to fit him. But it was his other words that she knew would haunt her for a long time to come.
I wish I could give you more. You deserve more. You deserve better than me.
He didn’t think he was good enough for her. Huh. How had she never realized that his own twisted self-image was part of the problem? She should have because now that he’d said it, she knew how difficult it would be to overcome that particular barrier.
They were already friends. They understood each other. They had a solid base for a relationship. And physically, they were fireworks. Last night had more than proven that.
But emotionally, he was so scarred from the hell his family had put him through that he saw himself through their eyes. Damaged. Dirty. Dangerous. He only saw the worst of his Bomar traits when he looked in the mirror and she wasn’t sure how to change that other than being there for him, being with him, and showing him how she saw him instead.
Only he’d left her, again, in the middle of the night. He’d walked away. Which meant he’d built his walls back and put her firmly on the other side. She would have to start all over trying to scale them and there was no guarantee he’d let her in.
After spending a long time lying in bed, thinking and hurting and crying some more, Skylar finally pulled herself up and went to take a shower. It wasn’t just her emotions that were a mess. Her entire body ached in the sweetest way. She was sticky and the memory of just how she’d gotten that way sent an all new flood of heat through her body.
She’d let him take her without a condom. More than once. Damn. She’d clearly lost her mind the moment he touched her. She didn’t think clearly when it came to Colt. He’d asked her for something and since she was so sick and tired of all the other barriers he put between them she’d agreed to it. Probably not her best decision but she couldn’t bring herself to regret it.
She’d never had sex without a condom. She’d never trusted anyone else with that kind of intimacy. She supposed if she was going to share it with someone that she’d always known it would be with the man she intended to spend the rest of her life with. And even if she and Colt were nowhere near the point where she could openly admit to something like that, he was that man.
He was one of her best friends. She loved him. And after last night, she was more convinced than ever that he loved her too.
Knowing him as well as she did, she was actually shocked that she hadn’t put it together before now. How had she not seen all the signs? If there was one word to describe Colt Bomar it was protector.
He protected the people he loved. Cash, always. Jemma more recently. And her. She hadn’t known that’s what he was doing but after what he’d said last night it suddenly made sense. He was protecting her… from him. Pushing her away, keeping her at arm’s length, pulling her close and then shutting her out, it was all some sort of twisted attempt to protect her.
If she was any other girl, she supposed that would have made her weak in the knees. The big Bomar boy wanted to protect her from his bad self. He looked at her and saw a damsel in distress that needed him to save her from her own perilous heart.
Well it was just too damn bad for him that she wasn’t a princess in need of rescue.
She’d spent her entire life being coddled and protected. Her parents always hovering over her, waiting for her to fall. Her friends constantly watching her, waiting to see if she faltered. She knew it was because they loved her but enough was enough. She wasn’t about to lose the man of her dreams because he was worried about breaking her heart.
For God’s sake, she’d survived a literal broken heart. Let him do his worst. She could take it.
She knew what she wanted. Colt. And she wasn’t about to settle for anything less than the happily ever after they deserved together.
