Page 70 of No Apologies
Skylar’s eyes widened with shock, “What? I thought it was yours?”
“It is. He isn’t part of the operations at all but he paid for it.”
She shook her head, “I don’t understand.”
“When Cash decided we were going to live straight, we both knew that meant staying away from the family business. It seemed easy enough. Get legal jobs and keep our noses clean. Cash was already working for Auto and I convinced Johnny to let me apprentice under him at his shop in Falls Lake. We thought that’d be enough but the truth is we were young and stupid. We had no idea how much life, a clean life, truly cost.”
Skylar was silent, letting him talk, but he didn’t dare look at her. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to see pity, or worse judgement, on her beautiful face.
“Rent. Utilities. Vehicles. Fuckin’ food. We were going under fast and it wasn’t like I had a lot of options. The bank never would have given me what we needed to survive on our own. So, when Link offered…”
“You took his money.”
He nodded and heard Skylar sigh. It had been stupid. He knew that. Believing Lincoln actually wanted to help had been naïve. He knew better. Nobody in their family ever helped anyone but themselves. But he’d been out of options.
If he hadn’t come up with the money to live on, they would have been forced to move back home to that shack on the Bomar land where their parents still lived. They’d barely gotten out of hell once. They never would have survived it a second time. Going back would have destroyed them both so he’d made a deal with a different devil instead.
“You did what you had to.” Skylar whispered softly but her understanding only made him shake his head.
“I was desperate.”
“And Cash doesn’t know?”
“No.” His stomach turned at the very idea of telling his twin the truth.
“Colt, your brother isn’t stupid. How does he think you came up with the money to get out of trouble and start your business?”
“He thinks Johnny helped me get started.” He glanced up in time to see her eyebrows go up and groaned, “I never lied to him about it. He assumed and I never corrected him. He thinks to come up with the rest that I did a few odd jobs for the crew and won a few fights. He thinks I fight because I need it, to work through my anger and maybe sometimes I do but most of my anger is tied to Lincoln these days. As far as Cash knows, I’ve never done anything for the family. I’m clean, just like him, but it isn’t true.”
Skylar frowned, “Why let him think that? You two tell each other everything. You’re practically conjoined. I don’t understand why you’ve kept all of this to yourself all this time.”
“Because if I told Cash what I was doing, he would’ve felt responsible. Best case, he would’ve told me no and we’d have been right back where we started. Worst case, he would’ve wanted to help and I couldn’t let him go down that road.”
“But…”
“He’s the best of us, Skylar. Not just me and him or even Remy but all of the Bomars. I’ve known it since we were kids. Hell, Decker knew it. That’s why he tried so hard to tear him down. Cash was just born better than the rest of us and he deserved a shot at getting the life he wanted. He deserved to get out and I gave it to him.”
“There you go again deciding what’s best for other people.” Skylar rolled her eyes, “I bet Cash would say the same thing about you if he knew what all you’d done for him.”
“Well he’s never finding out so it doesn’t matter. I did what I had to do and I don’t regret it. He’s happy and healthy and whole. That’s more than I ever thought was possible when we were kids. And now he’s gonna be a father, a helluva father, way better than we ever had. If I had to crawl through hell all over again, I’d do it to give him that. I’d give anything to see him get the life he always wanted with Jemma and that baby. Anything.”
Sadness colored Skylar’s blue eyes and he felt sick to his stomach again. Anything. He’d give anything for Cash’s happiness. Even his own. He’d even give her up if he had to.
He could see her thinking it but he didn’t know what to say to take away the sting of a truth like that. He would. His happiness came second. It always had. Safety came first. Protecting the people he loved came first. It was the only way they’d survived this long.
Skylar blew out an unsteady breath, “So you took Lincoln’s dirty money and he’s been holding it over you ever since?”
Leave it his girl to get them back on track. She wasn’t done getting her answers yet. She knew there was more to it than just letting his cousin own a majority of his tattoo studio. She was smart too. He wasn’t surprised she’d figured most of it out and was looking for confirmation.
“Yeah, kinda. I’ve been working off my debts. Like you already figured out, I fight for him.”
“And the other stuff?” She studied his face warily, “Are you boosting cars for him?”
“No.” He shook his head instantly, “I put my foot down on the shit that could get me thrown in prison first thing. I’m his muscle if he needs backup but that’s it. Slap on the wrist stuff. Nothing serious.”
It was a line of bullshit and they both knew it but Skylar didn’t call him out. If the police ever caught up to the Bomar crime ring they’d all be in trouble. Dipping in a toe made him just as guilty as his cousins. But Cash was clean, he’d made sure of it and that was what mattered.
“How much do you still owe him?”
