Page 51 of No Apologies
Chapter Ten
The first time Skylar woke, it was still dark outside and she wasn’t alone. It took her less than a minute to remember the events of the night. All of it came rushing back in a whirlwind of sights and sounds. And feelings, so many feelings and those all came back too.
Her confusion when she’d opened the door to find Colt on the other side. The excitement she’d felt when he kissed her. The longing that had nearly overwhelmed her. And then the pain. Just a slash of hurt at first and then as his words sank in, the cut had dug deeper and deeper, widened into a chasm that would swallow her whole if she let it.
One night. He had only promised her one night. That was all he would give her. One night. Nothing more than a release of the tension that had built between them. He hadn’t offered more. Hadn’t told her he felt the same way that she did. And he certainly hadn’t put his heart on the line.
Not like she had.
She struggled to contain the sick feeling of dread that rose in her throat. Because she loved him. She loved every beautiful, broken, damaged part of him. And she’d known if she got too close that his rough edges would cut her. She just hadn’t expected it to hurt so damn much before he was ever really gone.
He was still in bed beside her. He was wrapped around her. His arms held her tight, as if he couldn’t bear the idea of letting her go. And maybe in sleep that was true but when he woke, he would leave. She didn’t doubt for a second that he would follow through and walk away from her, maybe for good, and she had no idea how to convince him to stay instead.
In all honesty, she was surprised he wasn’t already gone. The last time she’d fallen asleep with him nearby, he’d disappeared as though he’d never been there. She had no idea how long she’d been asleep this time so she was shocked to wake up and feel his arms still wrapped tightly around her.
“My nights not over yet.” Colt rumbled close to her ear.
She fought a shiver when he read her mind, “I thought you were asleep.”
“Uh, no.” His arms tightened, his hips pressing forward until the steel beam of his erection rubbed at her ass, “Too hard to sleep. Literally.”
Despite her worries, her lips tipped into a smile at his crude humor and she found herself rocking back against him. He groaned and slid his hand down her belly. The pressure kept her back pressed tight to his front as their hips automatically found a rhythm and rolled together. His rough hands against her skin sent pinwheels of desire cartwheeling through her and when he gripped her thigh and pulled her top leg up and back, over his own to hold her open, she gasped.
“Colt…”
“Mmm, I like it when you say my name like that.” His voice was rougher than usual though whether that was from sleep or desire she had no idea. “Say it again.”
Since he dipped his hand between her thighs and found her clit, she couldn’t help but do just that, “Colt, please.”
Teeth bit into her shoulder hard enough to sting but it only made pleasure course through her veins. He knew she enjoyed a little bit of pain. How could he not? There was no way he’d missed her reaction to his needles all this time. She’d never admitted it to anyone, had no idea how to even voice it, but there was something about the sharp sting of the needles mixed with knowing it was Colt’s hands on her that sent her flying every time.
She liked it a little rough. She’d known that she would even though she’d never experienced it before. Never had anyone hold her wrists down. Never had anyone pull her hair. Never had anyone bite her because she’d never told anyone else she wanted it, needed it. But Colt knew and he gave it to her without her having to say a word.
She bit her lip to stifle a groan when he teased her opening. He grumbled and nipped at her skin again as he rocked his hips against her ass. His other hand moved up and he traced her lips. She nipped his finger with her teeth and he groaned and pinched her clit, sending her hips shooting off the bed, the only sound escaping her a tortured moan.
“Suck. Now.” The finger tracing her lips pushed and she simply did as she was told and opened.
She loved Colt like this. Bossy and demanding. Dominating. He knew what he wanted and he wasn’t afraid to demand it. He took and he gave her back everything she’d never known she needed. He took complete and utter control of her and she responded to his orders as if she’d been born for it.
His finger slipped into her mouth as she nipped and licked at it. His other hand continued to tease her. Stroking her clit and then sliding down to her hole, circling it, and then gliding back up to begin the torture all over again. She was rocking and twisting, trying to force him to give her more, but since he didn’t move on from his pattern she devoted all of her attention to sucking on his fingers.
“That’s my girl.”
She swallowed a whimper at his grumbled words as he pulled his fingers free of her mouth with a popping sound. It didn’t mean anything. That’s what she tried to remind her stupid, silly heart when it leaped at the words it so badly needed.
He trailed his wet fingers to her breast and played with her nipples as he eased a finger inside her and they both hissed. She arched into his hands, pressing back against him. It felt so good but it wasn’t enough, not nearly enough.
She wanted to turn over. She needed to see him. She needed to kiss him. She needed the connection between them to be about more than just sex, needed it to be more than physical. She knew it was but she needed to see it in his eyes, to know that he felt it too.
“Colt…” She started but he cut her off with a groan of unrestrained need.
“I want to be inside you, angel. Nothing between us. Just you and me. Tell me you want it too.” His grip on her tightened and in her foggy, lust clouded brain, it took her too long to figure out his meaning. “I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone else bare. Ever. I want it with you, only you. Just this once I need there to be nothing between us.”
Her bottom lip began to tremble and she was suddenly grateful that she wasn’t facing him. She wouldn’t have been able to hide her reaction to his words if she was. Tears pooled in her eyes and she tried desperately to blink them back as he slashed at her heart all over again.
He wanted her. Only her. Wanted to take her without any barriers between them and God… the request threatened to break her. Because even without a condom, he wouldn’t drop his other barriers. She knew that. His words only confirmed it. The reminder that it would only be this one time because he would walk away in the morning hurt even more because he was asking her for so much.
“Sky?” His hands paused in their torment of her body and she realized then how easily he could read her, read her mind, and he confirmed it when he only sighed, “I’m sorry. It’s too much. I shouldn’t have asked.” He kissed her shoulder gently, apologetically, and a stray tear escaped and rolled down her cheek, “I’ll get a condom.”
