Page 23 of No Fear
These were the kinds of things she wanted to know about him. The important stuff. Not just how attracted he was to her but who he was when he wasn’t playing the role of protective big brother or bad, Bomar boy.
She released her lips from between her teeth, “Selfish how?”
“I hurt the twins when I left. They were young and I couldn’t take them with me but it doesn’t change the fact that I left them behind. They grew up while I was gone. They grew into strong men. Good men. I guess I didn’t think I had any right to come back and fuck that up for them.” He must have seen the confusion on her face because he snorted, “I’m a Bomar, Rach. I’m conditioned to think that’s all I’m good for. I heard it all my life.”
“But I thought your dad… well, Skylar said… I mean…”
He nodded when she stumbled over words again, “You mean you heard that I was the favored son? Yeah, I heard that too. And to an extent it’s true. Decker never targeted me the way he did the twins but that doesn’t mean I don’t have scars.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.” He said softly, his gaze on their linked hands when he frowned, “Just… looking like Decker, being the one they said acted like him, that carried its own weight. I don’t want to be like him.”
“I don’t think you’re anything like him. You came back to protect your brothers. You’re fighting in that cage for them. You took Colt’s place to get him out of the family business. You saved him. I can’t think of any other Bomar that would do something like that.”
Remy’s chin jerked up and a frown marred his handsome face, “Who told you that?”
“Wh-what?” She hesitated at the tense set of his jaw.
“Who told you I took Colt’s place to get him away from the family? That’s not exactly public knowledge, Rachel. That was a deal between me and Lincoln and…”
“Skylar.” She cut him off with a frown of her own. “Skylar told me.”
His frown melted away instantly and a sheepish smile took its place, “Sorry I just… of course she told you. I didn’t mean that you shouldn’t know it’s just, things with Lincoln are tense and…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“I should have known Skylar told you. She’s a good girl.”
“She’s the best.” She agreed instantly. “Skylar, she saved me in a lot of ways. She gave me a job but she also gave me a chance. She says I’m like the little sister she never had but the truth is, she’s the best friend I’ve ever had. She’s been there for me when nobody else would have been.”
“She warned me away from you, ya know?” Remy smirked and she grinned in return.
“Yeah, she warned me away from you too, at first, but lately… she’s kind of your biggest cheerleader.”
He chuckled, “Don’t think for a second I don’t know how lucky I am to be on that woman’s good side. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if she’d stuck to her guns and told me to stay away from you.”
“I’m not sure even Skylar could’ve convinced me to stay away from you.” She admitted and felt a blush heat her cheeks when Remy groaned and tugged her even closer, until their bodies brushed.
“Rach, nothing could’ve kept me away from you and nothing is going to convince me to let you go now that you’re here. You know that right?”
She bit the inside of her cheek, “Remy I…”
“You wanted to know why I stayed gone for two years? The truth is, I was scared. Scared that my brothers wouldn’t want me back after what I did to them. Scared that if I came back, I’d end up becoming someone I hate just to fit back into my own damn family. Scared that I’d have to face my parents and the scars they left me with.” Remy squeezed her hand and then met her gaze with a serious shake of his head, “But I’m done being scared, Rach. I’m done running. I’m back and I promised myself that I would protect the people I care about this time around. I didn’t expect you. I wasn’t looking for you. But the minute I saw you standing on the sidewalk that day, I knew you were going to be important to me. Youareimportant to me. So I’m here for my brothers but I’m also here for you. Understand?”
She swallowed hard and managed a shaky nod. It was a lot to take in. She couldn’t remember anyone in her life ever telling her that she was important to them. Couldn’t recall ever being important to anyone. Nobody had ever taken care of her before and more than anything she wanted to lean against Remy, to let him be that person and let him take care of her.
“Good.” He stroked his fingers over hers slowly, softly, in a really distracting kind of way, “I wanted to make sure we were on the same page because last night changed things, Rach.”
“I know.” She managed to find her voice.
“I claimed you in front of half my family. They’re gonna assume that means we’re together and while it may have been spur of the moment, I meant every word. You’re mine so if you don’t want me, you need to tell me now.”
“Remy…”
“No, let me say this because I don’t want there to be any confusion about what I want.” He used his free hand to tilt her chin up so they were eye to eye, “I don’t know that I can let you go without a fight, even now, but I know without a doubt that once I have you, I won’t ever be able to let you walk away from me.”
She bit her lip to keep from saying his name again. She’d tried to speak twice and he’d stopped her both times. She wasn’t sure what she would have said but she knew exactly what she wanted to say to him now. But she kept her lips sealed until he raised an eyebrow expectantly.
