Page 65 of No Fear
Chapter Twelve
It had been the most amazing, utterly perfect, beautiful day. Rachel let Remy lead her onto the dance floor, past their friends and family, to a spot in the corner where they were mostly alone. She let him pull her into his arms, wrapped herself around him and rested her cheek against his chest. She’d never felt more at home than she did here and now in this place and with these people… with Remy.
She’d spent all day with Jemma and Skylar. They’d all taken off work today, closed the salon and spent hours getting ready for the wedding. Skylar had done all their hair while Jemma worked on their makeup and they shared stories and laughter until she’d worried they’d all be late to the wedding.
Then she’d gone home to put on her dress, the dress that Skylar had given her, the one her friend had clearly bought for her. And as soon as she slipped the black velvet and lace dress on, she’d known that she couldn’t reject the gift because it was perfect. It was perfect and it made her feel all of the things she’d never felt before. Beautiful and special and sexy. All of the things that Remy had told her she was, repeatedly, over the last week. So much so that she’d started to believe him and tonight, here, in this beautiful dress and in his arms, she felt more like herself than she ever had.
The woman she’d wanted to be for so long. Not the girl that was scared of everything and everyone. Not the girl that hid from her problems and ran away. She felt like a smart, capable woman for the first time in her life. Like someone worthy of being loved and willing to open herself up and love in return. A woman that knew what she wanted and asked for it, demanded it, and then took it if need be.
She knew what she wanted now. What she’d always wanted. Who she’d always wanted.
Remy.
He was the reason she’d begun to push past her limits. He was the reason she’d started to trust her instincts and was learning to stand on her own two feet. He was the reason she’d opened her eyes enough to realize she had two amazing women that were her friends, who had her back and were there to listen to her and help her through anything. He was the reason that she was learning what it truly meant to be loved and to be a part of a family that would do anything to protect each other.
She loved him.
She’d loved him since that first day on the street when he managed to distract her from her fears. She’d looked up into that handsome face and those dark blue eyes and fallen for him. She’d been falling ever since. Every word, every touch, every single time he told her how special she was, how much he wanted her, how he needed her, she fell even more in love with him.
And he’d told her that he loved her earlier. She’d felt it since the first time he touched her. She could see it in the way he looked at her. It was in every way he made her the center of his universe but tonight he’d given her the words for the very first time and then he’d told her not to say them back until she was ready.
She’d been ready to say them right then. She’d been holding them inside her, afraid of saying them too soon, too fast. She’d still been scared but she wasn’t scared anymore. Saying them wouldn’t be clingy or crazy since Remy had said them first. She would have said them back right then, told him she wanted all of the same things he wanted, forever and a family with him, but she’d known they were running late for the wedding and there hadn’t been time for what she’d known would come next.
When she told him how she felt, they were going to make love. Finally. He’d stopped them from going that far time and again and to be honest, it had been frustrating. Not because he hadn’t made her come, he had. Over and over and over again, he’d touched her and kissed her and done things to her body that she hadn’t even known were possible. But he’d refused to truly take her, claim her, and she thought he was waiting for her to say the words that would bind her to him before he bound her to him in return.
Not just those three little words either, but the truth.
He needed to know the things she was keeping from him. No more secrets. No more lies. No more half-truths. She had to tell him what she’d overheard Craig plotting with his friends. She had to come clean about what she knew, about what her brother had done, and she had to do it soon.
It was the last barrier between them, the thing keeping them from truly being happy and giving them the future Cash and Jemma were living. When they’d exchanged vows and sworn to be honest and true to each other, she’d felt her heart clench painfully in her chest. Because she knew if she wanted a day like this with Remy with the white dress and the happily ever after, that honesty had to come first.
She didn’t think he would throw her out. Hate her. Push her away. But the fear was still there, so much a part of her that she knew it wouldn’t be easy. She had to do it… just not tonight.
She wasn’t going to ruin this day with that drama. It had been too perfect. Too magical. Too everything for it to end badly. She only wanted it to end one way and that was with her in Remy’s bed, in their bed, with their bodies as intertwined as their hearts and souls had become.
“Remy?”
“Hmm?” He stroked a big hand up and down her back before settling it right above her ass again.
“This is nice.”
He tugged her even closer, which she hadn’t thought was possible, “Mmm, it’s a lot better than nice.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I just watched my little brother get married. He’s happy and he’s gonna be so good to Jemma and that baby. I’m here with my family, with you, and that makes me happy. Life’s not just nice… it’s damn near perfect.”
She cuddled her cheek against his chest, “Damn near?”
“Damn near.” He chuckled and she knew it was because she’d cursed.
He’d told her this week that she sounded ridiculous when she cursed. He said she was so sweet and innocent that the words didn’t seem threatening at all. She’d made a point of throwing more of them into their conversations just to hear that laugh of his she loved so much.
“I think I know what would make it perfect.” She bit her lip and then leaned back enough that she could look up into his handsome face.
He was looking down at her and her heart immediately jumped at the heat in his dark eyes. He was so good looking it was a little intimidating. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve someone like Remy looking at her as if he was the lucky one but she hoped he never stopped.
“What’s that, baby?”
