Page 87 of No Fear
She nodded again.
“Then come here and kiss me. Love me. Stay in this bed with me and don’t think about all of the bad out there until tomorrow. We’ll deal with it together. Tomorrow. Today, just be here with me. Please?”
Rachel stared at him for a long moment and he couldn’t read her expression. It was soft and loving but not as open as he would have liked. He wanted her to truly open up with him and tell him all of the things she thought she couldn’t tell anyone. He wanted her every secret but for now, he would take this. Her trust and her love and her body and her future.
They’d tackle their pasts together, tomorrow.
She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his and he groaned when she used her teeth to nip at his bottom lip. He smiled against her mouth and returned the favor. She was a fast learner, he had to give her that. She’d quickly figured out not only what she liked but also what he liked. Luckily, a lot of those things seemed to overlap. She licked the inside seam of his upper lip and he shuddered as desire rolled through his every cell. For a girl that had never been kissed just a few short weeks ago, she knew exactly how to drive him crazy.
When he opened and sucked her tongue into his mouth, Rachel moaned and scooted even closer. It took a little maneuvering but as they kissed she twisted until she could straddle him. He tangled one hand in her hair and slipped the other down to her hip, holding her tight when she started to rock her hips against his growing erection.
He broke the kiss with a harsh breath, “Wait…”
“What?” Rachel’s lips were swollen and she licked them obscenely, “Why?”
“Are you sure you’re not too sore? I don’t want to hurt you.”
Her face softened as a smile inched upwards and then she leaned forward and kissed him softly, “I’m not sore, Remy. But thank you for asking and for caring so much… I love you.”
“I love you too but I shouldn’t have taken you so many times so quickly after I… we…”
“Is that a blush, Remy Bomar?” She teased with another smile, “You mean so many times since I gave you my virginity?”
He sighed, “Yes. You must be sore. I shouldn’t take you again so soon. You need time to recover.”
“I needed you, Remy.” She shifted her hips slightly and they both moaned, “I needed you and you gave yourself to me, just like I gave myself to you. This thing between us, how much I love you… the only thing I’m scared of is losing you.”
“You’re not gonna lose me, baby.”
“I’m beginning to believe that I just… it’s not easy for me.”
“I know. Me either. We’ll get through this together.”
She was quiet for a long moment and he felt the rush of quick desire subdue itself. He still wanted her. He would always want her. Especially when she was in his lap, in bed, but what they shared went deeper than that. She stilled against him with a heavy sigh and he brushed her hair back, kissing her softly.
“Mmm, okay, just relax. I’m not gonna jump you. I just want to look at you for a second. You’re so gorgeous.”
He leaned back against the headboard and let her have her way with smirk. He’d never liked it when women commented on his looks. Not until Rachel. She could look all she wanted because he knew she saw what was beneath the skin too. She saw him in ways nobody else did. He could just be Remy with her, he didn’t have to hide anything. She knew all of his darkest secrets and she loved him anyway.
“Mmm, all muscles and strength. You’re built like you were born for fighting but it never scared me, not even that first day though I couldn’t have explained why. I wanted you, even then, even when I had no idea what it meant.” She traced his chest again and then paused with a finger on the tattoo that covered his shoulder, “When’d you get this?”
His throat felt tight and he tensed as her light nudged in on another of his darkest shadows, “Right after I left town…”
“What’s it mean?”
He’d hoped to never have to answer that question. Most people didn’t bother looking at it too closely. But he should have known he’d have to explain it to Rachel at some point. And why not today? They were already sharing so much. If he was going to trust her to tell him her secrets, he had to trust her with his own.
Remy glanced down at the old scrollwork tattoo. It was designed to look like an old sheet of music. The bars and notes were just gibberish to most people. Music was like that. It was a language to itself and you might recognize it but unless you knew how to read it, it was meaningless.
He still couldn’t explain why it was he’d gotten the stupid thing. He’d been at Basic for a few months and he and a few friends had snuck away for a night out. They’d gotten drunk but he knew it wasn’t the alcohol that had made the decision. It was some weird mix of nostalgia and self-punishment and he’d thought more than once of covering it up but had never found the time or the money or the energy.
“Remy?” Rachel’s soft voice pulled him back to the moment, “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me why you have the sheet music forMary Had A Little Lambtattooed on your shoulder. It’s okay.”
He snorted, “You can read music?”
“I was a band nerd in middle school.” Rachel blushed again and he chuckled.
“If you tell me you played the flute, I’m going to make some seriously inappropriate jokes. You know that right?”
