Page 19 of No Fear
“I mean, no, Remy.” She said softly but with more confidence than he’d ever imagined, “You don’t scare me like that. I mean, I know maybe you should because I know what you are but you don’t. I don’t think you ever could. You make me feel… safe.”
Safe. There was that word again. He wanted to keep her safe and he liked hearing that he made her feel safe. It made that place in his chest that had opened to her the moment they met warm even as something sharp and painful stabbed at him.
“What I am?”
“Huh?”
He pursed his lips and wished they weren’t having this conversation in the car. He wished he could see her, see her eyes. If he could look at her for more than five seconds at a time he wouldn’t have to read so much into her tone of voice, into the way she’d said those words.
“What am I, Rachel? What am I that makes you think you shouldn’t trust me, even though you do?”
She sighed, “A Bomar.”
“Ah, that.” He snorted as he flicked his blinker on and made the turn down the little road that led towards his place. There was a strange relief that his last name was her biggest problem with him. “We don’t get to choose our family, like you said.”
“I didn’t mean...” Rachel squeezed his hand, “I know you’re not like the rest of them. That’s what I meant. You’re a Bomar but you’re not violent or scary. You’re… sweet.”
He bit off a chuckle, unsure if she’d think he was laughing at her, “Babe, nobody’s ever called me sweet.”
“I just did.”
“Yeah, you did.” He smiled in the darkness of the car, “And maybe for you I can be.”
Rachel shifted in her seat, uncurling her legs and rolling to face him more head-on. She looked like she wanted to say something but then changed her mind. She dropped her gaze to their joined hands and he squeezed gently.
“Rach, you can tell me anything. Whatever it is, I’m not gonna judge you. I’m not gonna yell at you. All I’m gonna do is try to be here for you and protect you.”
After another long minute where they jostled over the uneven road to his place, Rachel finally spoke. Her voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear her. And when he did, he wished he wasn’t driving so he could pull her into his arms.
“I need you, Remy. I didn’t lie about that I just… I need you because you’re strong. You’re intimidating. Craig won’t mess with me as long as he thinks I’m under your protection.”
He fought the urge to squeeze her hand, anger and fear coursing through him, and his voice was rough when he forced himself to ask, “Did he hurt you?”
“Not yet.”
He swallowed hard, “So he threatened you?”
Rachel nodded.
“Fuck. Rach.” He groaned, “If you’d told me earlier I would have taken care of it. He was right there. I could have set him straight right then and there.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. Words don’t matter to Craig. Just seeing me with you…” She shook her head sadly, “He’s dangerous and until I figure out how to handle him I guess I was hoping I could crash at your place. Just being with you will keep him away from me.”
“Rachel…”
“We’re friends, right?”
“Yeah.”
He stroked his thumb over her soft skin. That was the simple answer. That was the answer she was looking for. That’s what he’d been telling her for weeks because he was afraid telling her what he really wanted would scare her away. He wanted to be so much more than her friend, hewasso much more than her friend. But he was her friend, first and foremost so he nodded.
“Then please, just trust me that I’ll tell you more when I figure it out myself.”
“Okay.” He agreed quietly.
It was all he could do. He didn’t want to push too hard, too fast. She’d come to him because she needed his protection. He could give her that without crossing any lines or pressuring her for more than she was willing to give. If she wanted him to be her friend tonight, he could do that.
He pulled the Challenger to a stop in front of the old trailer house and winced as embarrassment hit him. It wasn’t a nice place. It was barely even a livable place. The old trailer had sat unused and abandoned for years before he came home. When he’d moved in it had smelled to high heaven and despite all of his cleaning it still had a slight undercurrent of misuse to it.
