Page 21 of No Fear
Chapter Five
Rachel woke up slowly, gradually slipping into consciousness from the deep, dark recesses of a good night’s sleep. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so hard, slept so long or so easily. It had been weeks, months, maybe even years since she’d woken up without a start, without her heart racing from a nightmare or to the sound of Craig screaming her name.
Craig.
Her eyes flew open as the memories of last night fought their way to the surface. She’d overheard her brother talking to his new friends. She’d learned he was a traitor to his crew, to the Bomars, and she’d gone to their fight night to look for Remy. She’d found him but Craig had found her too. He’d threatened her openly, right there in front of Remy. He’d all but told her that when she came home, he would deal with her. Only instead Remy had brought her here, to his home.
Oh my God… she looked around and covered her mouth to stifle a gasp.
She was really here. She was in Remy’s trailer. He’d brought her home with him and then… she groaned, she’d fallen asleep like a total child.
He’d gone to take a shower and she’d sat down in the big, comfy chair like he told her and then, nothing. She’d fallen asleep and she must have fallen asleep hard because she hadn’t heard him come back into the room. She hadn’t felt him give her a blanket to cover up but he must have. She fingered the old, well-worn quilt as she chewed her lips and looked around the small trailer.
It wasn’t much and she remembered the way Remy had looked slightly embarrassed when he brought her inside. The trailer was old, that was for sure, but it wasn’t in as much disrepair as her own was. Craig had trashed her mother’s trailer but clearly Remy had tried to fix his up. The scent of cleaning supplies lingered and it wasn’t dirty, just old. Everything but the television and the chair she’d slept in, which were clearly new and that made her smile softly to herself because of course Remy would buy the necessities first.
He was just a guy no matter how much she idolized him.
She remembered everything he’d done for her last night. Gotten her away from Lincoln, gotten her out of that barn and away from the leering men inside. He’d kept Craig from hurting her and he’d brought her here. He’d kept her safe and through it all he’d looked at her and touched her as if she were something special, something precious.
And then she’d fallen asleep on him.
God, she dropped her head into her hands and swallowed a groan. He must think she was a total baby now. Not that he probably hadn’t already. She knew he was older than her. She’d pointedly asked Skylar just how old Colt’s older brother was once and gotten a knowing smile and a speech about age being about wisdom not years and then a number.
Twenty-eight.
He was seven years older than her. He’d been halfway around the world fighting in a war. He’d grown up fast and early being a Bomar. Of course he must think she was a baby! She was barely an adult, could barely take care of herself and now she’d not only run to him for safety because she couldn’t protect herself but she’d fallen asleep like a kid up past her bedtime.
Rachel wiped a hand over her face and sighed. She had bigger problems than whether or not Remy thought she was a child. She had Craig threatening to kill her. She had the Bomars every direction she turned. And she had to figure out just how much she could tell Remy because she knew he would have questions for her now that she was awake.
She stood up and folded the blanket neatly. Listening carefully, she didn’t hear anything but the wind rustling the trees outside. If Remy was in the trailer he must be asleep. That or he was being utterly still and quiet thinking she was asleep. Carefully, trying to avoid any heavy steps that would made the floor squeak or groan, she tiptoed towards the back of the trailer.
It was laid out exactly like her own from the looks of it. The door up front led straight into the living area. There was a small nook on that end that served as a kitchenette. A stove oven combo in one corner, a fridge in the other and a sink between with a microwave on the counter were all there was room for. The living room was large enough for the big couch, the chair and a flat screen television but not much more. The narrow hallway led to a small second room that was completely empty and next to that was the bathroom. She should have stopped there, gone to the bathroom and cleaned up a little, but when she glimpsed the open doorway at the end of the hall, the master bedroom, she couldn’t help herself.
Hesitantly, she tiptoed to the open door and then stopped as the dark room came into focus. Remy was in there. She could just make him out through the pale light seeping past the blinds. He was sprawled on the big bed, a sheet haphazardly pulled up around his waist. His head was turned away from her but it wouldn’t have mattered if he were wide awake. His broad chest was on full display and just like last night, she couldn’t seem to pull her gaze away.
Her heart began to gallop and she bit her lip as she stared at him. She shouldn’t be standing here, gawking. She knew that. It was weird and creepy and stalkerish. If he woke up and saw her watching him like this, it would make things super awkward. He stirred slightly and she stopped breathing until he resettled, this time facing her but with his eyes still closed.
What would he do if he woke up and saw her here? Send her away? Or curl his finger at her like he had last night in the barn? The memory alone was enough to send butterflies fluttering in her belly. What would he do if she crawled into that bed with him and snuggled against that strong, broad chest? Would he hold her and promise to protect her? Or would he touch her, really touch her like he’d said he wanted to last night, and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe?
Remy twitched again in his sleep and she stepped back, out of the doorway. He was having a nightmare, she realized. All of the tossing and turning, she knew the signs well. She had more than a few of her own. Knowing that she would hate anyone seeing her like that, weak and alone, defenseless against the demons and the memories that came in the dark, she forced herself to turn and walk away.
Rachel locked herself in the bathroom and leaned against the door with a sigh. What was she doing here? Remy clearly had his own problems to deal with. She trusted him but she was still trying to figure out how much of her story to tell him. He’d said last night that he wanted her, that she was his, but most of what she knew about his past hadn’t come from him.
She’d heard the rumors, heard Skylar and Colt talking when they thought she wasn’t listening. They were worried about him. Remy had come home after a decade away and was still trying to find his place within his family.
The fighting was to save his brothers but who was going to save Remy?
Even knowing that he didn’t need to be dragged into her mess right now, she couldn’t convince herself to turn around and leave while he was asleep. Craig had already seen her with Remy. If she left him now, where would she go? Who could she turn to? Skylar maybe, but if she went to her then no doubt Remy would find out. She had no doubt that if she fled now without so much as a word that Remy would come after her.
Going through the motions, her thoughts a hundred miles away, she cleaned up as best she could in the small bathroom. She borrowed Remy’s comb and pulled it through her tangled hair. There was a spare toothbrush in the drawer, unopened, and after a few minutes of debate she gave up and opened it, telling herself that she’d replace it as soon as she got the chance. She washed her face, cleaning off the remnants of the overdramatic makeup she’d worn the night before and when she looked back at herself in the mirror, she both felt and looked more like herself.
When she finally worked up the courage to leave the bathroom, Remy was still asleep. She didn’t dare go back to his bedroom. She made her way to the living room to wait for him and then, because she was too nervous to sit still thinking about what would happen when he did wake up, she decided to raid his fridge for breakfast items instead.
His kitchen was hit or miss. Some of the cabinets were completely bare. Others were packed full of old dishes that threatened to spill out as soon as she opened the door. There was bread but it was beginning to mold. There were eggs in the fridge that hadn’t expired and an entire bag of hot peppers. A package of flour tortillas looked edible enough and after some searching she managed to find a frying pan and some spices.
Breakfast she could do. She could handle this. It would give her something to do with her hands and something to keep her mind occupied so she could stop fretting. She knew how to cook and she would make them both a hot meal. She figured it was the least she could do to thank Remy for last night. Even if he didn’t know it, he had saved her life.
After breakfast, she had no idea what she was going to do. No clue what she was going to say to Remy when he asked what was going on. She wasn’t sure how much she should tell him. He’d put together that she was scared of Craig but she didn’t think that would be enough information for him. He would want to know why she was scared of her brother and she thought he deserved to know that Craig intended to hurt his family members. But if she told him that, it might change how he felt about her. He might push her away, send her away, and she wasn’t sure she could survive without him. Literally.
