Page 80 of No Fear
This was all her fault. She had done this. Remy was going to have to choose between her and his family and somehow, someway, he was choosing her. He was choosing her and he was making the wrong choice.
She had done this and she didn’t deserve his protection. She wasn’t one of them. She wasn’t anything like them. She wasn’t smart or stubborn like Jemma. She wasn’t bold and brash like Skylar. She had done nothing to prove herself to these men, to show that she could stand with them instead of against them, that she could be loyal and helpful.
That was the only answer. She knew it. Maybe she’d known it all along. She had to choose Remy and the Bomars, on her own, and stand by them. It was the only way.
“What can I do to prove to you that I’m with Remy for good? With him because I love him? I choose him. If I have to choose, I choose him.” Rachel wiped at the stray tear that escaped and rolled down her cheek, “I didn’t know Craig hurt Colt but you’re right. It shouldn’t have mattered. I knew he wanted to hurt you and you’re Remy’s family, Skylar’s family, and that should have been enough. I was scared, too scared to help before but I’m not anymore. Tell me what to do to prove that I’m with you and I’ll do it.”
“Rachel, no.” Remy hissed but she shook her head at him.
“I have to. I owe your family this.”
“You don’t owe him a damn thing!”
“I owe you. I should have been honest from the beginning but I was so scared… scared of everything but I… I’m more scared of losing you.”
“You’re not gonna lose me, Rach.”
She hoped that was true but until she proved to him and to herself that she could stand with him instead of behind him she wasn’t sure she could believe that. She turned to face Lincoln, putting Remy at her back. She knew they’d have to talk about all of this a lot more but this… this was her decision.
“Tell me what you need me to do.” She told Lincoln as steadily as she could.
The older Bomar boy looked down on her for a long moment but she didn’t blink and didn’t look away. Staring at him like this, she saw past all of the things he showed the outside world. The pretty face that hid the dirty Bomar soul. Those were both there, sure, but there was something else. Something deeper. She could almost see a battle waging behind those sea-glass eyes before he narrowed his gaze and nodded.
“You can help us lure Craig out.”
“No.” Remy growled.
“Out?” She asked, ignoring him.
“Nobody’s seen him in a day or two. We think he’s hiding out. Maybe he figured you’d come clean eventually and he wanted to get a head start. That or he’s visiting with his friends in the Santos Peridos MC, planning something else. We need to give him a reason to come home so we can get our hands on him.”
“No!” Remy growled again, “No, you are not using her as bait.”
“I’ll do it.”
“The hell you will.” Remy spun her around by her shoulders, “No, Rachel.”
“Look, you two lovebirds talk amongst yourselves. Figure it out. I’ve got a meeting in…” Lincoln looked at the expensive watch on his wrist, another of those watches like the one Craig wore, “Shit. Now. I have to go. If you’re helping, call me tonight. If you’re not… just know it’s not going to save your brother and I’ll be sure the entire family knows about your hand in all of this.”
The threat made Remy snarl again, “Get the fuck out of my house.”
“I’m going.” Lincoln moved past them, “He has my number, Rachel. I’ll expect your call.”
Rachel watched Lincoln leave the trailer. When he opened the door, she got a glimpse of Bentley leaning against the hood of a car. He didn’t smile at her and if possible, that hurt her feelings far worse that Lincoln’s threats and curses had. She’d never liked Lincoln, never thought of him as anything but scary. She’d thought that Bentley was her friend though, or at least that they were on the verge of a friendship, but that was all gone now. Lincoln slammed the door behind him and in the quiet and still trailer she became suddenly aware of Remy standing directly behind her.
He loomed over her but he made no move to touch her and that hurt too. He’d touched her since her revelations but only to protect her from Lincoln, she realized now. They hadn’t been affectionate touches so much as protective. He was still protecting her… but that didn’t mean he still loved her.
She turned around to face him and winced at the pain written all over his handsome face. He’d told her that he loved her yesterday. They’d spent the night dancing and drinking and celebrating Cash and Jemma. They’d made love for hours, slept wrapped around one another, and in the midst of all of that, they’d talked and made promises to each other.
They wanted each other. They needed each other. They’d planned for a life together. But today it was all crashing down around them and she didn’t know how to rebuild them when the reason their foundation was shaky was her fault.
“Remy…”
“Rachel. Don’t.”
“No. Please. Let me. I need to explain…”
“You don’t.”
Tears worked their way back into her vision, “Please, Remy, please don’t leave me. I love you. Let me explain.”
Remy shook his head and moved towards her, framing her face between his bloody fingers, “I love you too and I’m not leaving you. I told you before, nothing could make me leave you behind. Nothing. We’ll figure this out. We’ll work through it. I love you.”
“W-w-why?” She sobbed as her legs gave out, her strength waning, and Remy had to catch her, had to hold her up, just like he had since the moment they met.
