Page 25 of Stay A Little Longer
Chapter Eight
Lance took a long swig from his bottle of beer and eyed the empty trailer across the driveway. It had been a long day. Not just because of the early wake up on his day off or the awkward situation this morning either.
He’d taken Lulu shooting, as promised, and listened to his little sister complain about her best friend Derek for hours. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out Lulu was in love with Derek but since she refused to do a thing about it or even tell the guy, Lance had long since lost patience with her complaining. He’d finally snapped at her and she’d gone rushing off in a hissy fit, leaving him alone with his own demons and the knowledge he’d have to apologize for taking his foul mood out on her.
Hell, who was he to tell Lulu she was wasting her time? That she should tell Derek how she felt? Tell him the truth and see how it played out? At least she’d know once and for all and be able to move on… But what did he know about any of that? He certainly hadn’t lived his life that way. He was in his thirties and he was still lying, still hiding. He hadn’t told anyone his truth, not even Lulu, and he wasn’t living, not really.
He took another long sip of his beer and nudged at the steaks on his grill with a fork. He eyed the empty trailer again, wondering where Trent was and what he was doing. Just like he had for the last ten hours.
Trent wasn’t here. He’d left with Lemon and Shane and he hadn’t come back. Not yet. The little voice in the back of his head argued that he’d probably left town for good after the shit Lance pulled this morning but reasonably he knew that wasn’t true. The rental car was still parked on the street and he’d hated the rush of relief he felt when he got home from the shooting range to see it still parked there.
He had no right to feel relieved that Trent had stayed. Not after his bullshit this morning. All but throwing Trent out, telling him he didn’t want anyone to know he’d been there, pretending not to know him. Pretty much everything he’d said and done should have sent Trent running because it was glaringly obvious in the light of day what he’d left out in the dark of night.
He’d told Trent he was gay. He’d said he was like him. But what he hadn’t said was that he was hiding too. That he was still hiding. That he was in the closet and he had no intention of coming out, not now not ever.
And why did that one omission feel more like a lie than anything had in years? Why did he hate the idea of lying to Trent? Of losing Trent? When he didn’t even know the guy? Was he just that damn lonely that one orgasm and some cuddling could make him this needy?
Headlights cut through the twilight and his heart thumped in his chest. This part of the trailer park was nearly empty. Either someone was lost or... Shane's truck slid to a stop on the street and Lance quit breathing as the back door opened and Trent stepped out.
God he looked good enough to eat. His longish hair pushed back off his forehead, glinting gold and brown and bronze in the sunset light. Those blue eyes glittering and that wide, white smile making him glow. He’d changed into a simply navy t-shirt and jeans and both hugged his big, muscular body as if they’d been custom made. Hell, maybe they had. The clothes showed off his long legs, thin hips, wide shoulders and bulging biceps.
And yes, the answer was yes, apparently one orgasm and a good nights sleep in those muscular arms could in fact turn Lance’s world upside down. Because he wanted to rush towards Trent. He wanted to kiss him, wanted the right to kiss him wherever and whenever he wanted.
Instead, he stood stock still as Trent said his goodbyes to Shane and Lemon. He waved as his friend gave a friendly honk. And then he watched as the happy couple pulled away from the curb, swinging a U-turn and heading the other direction, disappearing into the night and leaving Trent standing on the curb.
Slowly the other man turned and their eyes met across the distance. The smile he’d been wearing when he stepped out of the truck faded and a pain like Lance had never known ripped through his chest. No. No. That was all wrong. He wanted to be the one making Trent smile, not frown.
“Hey.”
Trent headed up the short driveway, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans and shoulders up tight, “Hey.”
Lance winced when he didn’t say more. Wouldn’t even look at him. Trent trudged towards the other trailer without looking back at him and that sharp sting turned into a dull ache in his chest. Trent wasn’t going to say a word, wasn’t going to yell at him or tell him he was an asshole. He was just going to ignore him and that seemed so much worse.
He watched, helplessly, as Trent opened the door of the other trailer. His back was to him now. Walking away from him, which he deserved, but if he was never going to speak to him again, Lance couldn’t leave it at that.
“I’m sorry.”
Trent paused, his hand still on the door, one foot on the step, and tilted his head to look over his shoulder, “What?”
“I’m sorry.” Lance repeated, his throat feeling raw.
Trent released his grip on the door and stepped back down onto the ground, he turned to face him slowly, “You’re sorry? For what?”
“Not telling you. I should have told you before… well, before anything happened. I should have told you I’m not out.”
He held his breath, waiting for something that never came. Trent simply sighed heavily and shut the door to the other trailer behind him. He moved closer instead of further away, which Lance wanted to take as a good sign but couldn’t bring himself to. Not when Trent still wasn’t meeting his eyes.
“It’s okay.” He finally shrugged.
“No. It’s not. I’m sorry.”
“Look.” Trent finally glanced up, “It’s not exactly like I asked any questions last night before hauling you into my lap.”
Lance felt heat sizzle through him at the memory and hoped he wasn’t blushing, “It’s not like I objected.”
Trent’s eyes glittered in the soft light and a flicker of a smile touched his lips, “No. You didn’t.”
“I should have told you though so… I’m sorry.”
