Page 10 of Once Upon a December
Felix frowned, “So it’s not just you?”
“What?” Gibson stopped rubbing his forehead and looked at him.
“Your whole family hates Christmas?”
“Something like that.”
Felix watched him walk back to his desk but he wasn’t ready to let it go yet, “I don’t understand. What could possibly make you hate Christmas so much?”
Gibson surprised him by turning quickly and glaring at him, “You really don’t know?”
“Would I keep asking if I did?” He stepped up in front of Gibson and frowned when he saw the pain that flashed across the other man’s handsome face, “Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to I just want to understood you better. I know I have no right but…”
Gibson surprised him again when he grabbed his wrist to keep him from moving away, “No, it’s not that it’s just… Everyone in my life already knows the story. It’s been a long time since I had to tell it to anyone new.” Gibson’s thumb stroked over his wrist and Felix fought a shiver, unsure if the other man even knew what he was doing until he met his eyes, “It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to tell anyone new.”
“You don’t…” He started again but Gibson’s heavy sigh cut him off and instead of pushing him away and telling him again that he didn’t have to reveal anything he didn’t want to, Felix took a chance and slipped his hand into Gibson’s, intertwining their fingers.
Gibson stared down at their joined hands for a long moment. He didn’t pull away though. Felix barely even dared to breathe after the bold move but he held himself steady. There was something here, something between them. He’d known there was and Gibson letting him touch him, letting him hold his hand, wanting to open up to him, more than proved it. Gibson just needed to know that Felix wanted it too so he gave the warm hand in his a gentle, reassuring squeeze that caused Gibson’s breath to shudder out before he started to speak.
“It was the Christmas that Bran turned eighteen. His birthday is December 27th. That’s why it’s hardest for him. We had all these plans for his big day. Our parents had always made it really clear that our eighteenth birthday was the time we became our own men and we were expected to have a plan for our life, a plan of what we wanted to do and be and how we wanted to help others and change the world. They didn’t want any of us sitting around partying off our trust funds.” Gibson winced as if the words hurt his throat but he forced them out anyway, “Instead of celebrating, we spent that day planning a funeral for our parents.”
“Oh God.” Felix gasped before he could pull the words back.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d known that the elder Frost had passed away. He just hadn’t known when it had happened. He hadn’t known how. He hadn’t known that Gibson had lost both of his parents at once and that it had happened so close to Christmas.
“They’d been at the company holiday party.” Gibson shrugged though his words were anything but light, “The limo they’d rented to bring them all home so they wouldn’t have to drive after they’d been drinking hit a patch of ice on a bridge. The driver was killed instantly when they slammed into the barrier. My parents…” His voice broke and Felix squeezed his hand again.
“You don’t have to say any more.”
“Everyone in the car died that day except for my uncle. Roman survived but he’s never been the same. Before the accident he was one of my best friends, he was a lot younger than my dad and more like a big brother to me than a little brother to him I think. He loved being the center of attention and he was this big, larger than life presence. Bran is a lot like him… or like he used to be I guess. These days Roman acts like he wishes he was invisible, sometimes I think he wishes he’d died that day too.”
“God. I’m sorry.”
Gibson didn’t acknowledge his words, only shook his head sadly, “Roman was in the hospital and then, even after he wasn’t really there so… I was the only one left whole enough to take over the company. So I did. I’ve been trying to hold my family together ever since but this time of year... it’s like they’re all set on destroying themselves so they don’t have to remember and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Felix’s throat was tight, “I’m so sorry, Gibson. I never would have teased you if I’d known. I didn’t know but I…”
“Don’t you dare pity me.” Gibson jerked his gaze back up from their joined hands where he’d been staring throughout his story.
“I don’t.” Felix got right in his face, “I don’t pity you at all. I admire you. I’m impressed by everything you’ve accomplished. I respect the hell out of you for trying to keep your family together and for keeping your parents memory alive by continuing their Christmas tradition even though it clearly hurts you to do it. I think you’re amazing.”
Gibson stared at him for a long moment and Felix stared right back. He waited for the other man to pull away. He waited for Gibson to push him away. Gibson simply stared at him, his quicksilver eyes sweeping over Felix’s face and then they paused on his lips and Felix’s breath caught.
“Felix…” Gibson’s voice was a whisper and Felix licked his lips as heat and want flooded through him.
“Yeah?”
“I want to kiss you.” Gibson stood back up to his full height from where he’d leaned against his desk, closing the space between them.
Felix swallowed hard, “I want you to kiss me too, but…”
“But?”
“But I don’t want you to kiss me now because you’re hurting and I’m a convenient outlet.”
Gibson’s eyes went soft and he raised his free hand to cup Felix’s jaw, “That’s not why. You’re not just convenient. I like you and not kissing you for the last week has been slowly tearing me apart.”
“Oh.”
