Page 10 of Should've Been Us
From the way Amber had been trailing after him all night like a little lost puppy, Lulu should have known she’d gotten a taste of whatever it was Connor offered up to the ladies that made them lose their minds. Amber clearly wanted a round two but from what Lulu had seen, he didn’t offer seconds. Which figured because only a total asshole would get a girl hooked on him and then walk away and if she knew anything, it was that Connor Shaw was anasshole.
“Seriously?” Aubrey was still looking shocked and Lulu realized she’d missed whatever else Amber had said because the blonde was nodding like an eagerbeaver.
“Uh huh, bossy. Total alpha, control freak,kinky.”
“I never would have imagined.” Aubrey gaped, “He’s so laid backnormally.”
Lulu took a long drink of her wine and eyed the woman. Laid back? Connor? Did Aubrey not know Connor at all? There was nothing laid back about thatman.
He was a smartass with a vicious tongue and a know-it-all mouth. He commanded attention when he walked into a room. He was about as self-confident, assertive and downright aggressive a man as Lulu had everknown.
She knew because all of those things irritated the hell out of her when it came tohim.
“Like, dominant, alpha, growly sexiness?” Sierra all butpurred.
“Totally sexy.” Amber confirmed with agiggle.
“I knew there was something about that man I liked as soon as I met him.” Sierra nudged Aubrey playfully, “You’ve totally been holding out on me about these Texasboys.”
Aubrey laughed, “It’s not as if I knew Connor was likethat!”
“Sure, but are you really going to tell me your man isn’t the same way? Trust me, girl. These kind of men tend to congregate. Just look at all Brenden’s boys up in Bounty County. Fine as hell and kinky as fuck. The stories their girls tell… whew, they get me all hot andbothered.”
“A slight breeze gets you hot and bothered.” Aubreylaughed.
“Oh come on!” Sierra pressed, “Tell us about Derek. How big is he? Does he know the motion of the ocean? Can he spell clit with his tongue? Or is he a map and a compass kind ofguy?”
“Oh my God.” Aubrey snorted withlaughter.
“She’s crazy.” Annagiggled.
“I love her.” Ambersmiled.
Lulu pushed her chair out so quickly that it squeaked on the tile floor. She felt suddenly overheated. Nausea began to steep inside of her and she couldn’t get in enough air. She was going to be sick. She could feel it. And all because the idea of hearing Aubrey talk about Derek and their sex life completely freaked her the hell out. She needed to escape this conversation and this room.Immediately.
“Hey, you okay?” Anna was the closest to her and reached out when she swayed on herheels.
“Yeah.” Her voice was choked and she shook her head, “Yeah, I uh, I just need some freshair.”
“Are you sure? Youlook…”
“I’m fine. Just need some air. All the wine is going straight to myhead.”
Lulu didn’t wait for a response. She turned on her heel and all but sprinted to the door as fast as her wobbly legs would carry her. She burst through the swirling white curtains and onto the patio but didn’t stop until she reached the railing. She gripped it tight and leaned over, nearly bending herself in half, trying to get the world to stopspinning.
She was drunk. She was way too drunk. She’d thought all the wine was helping but now it felt like an enemy had invaded her bloodstream. The alcohol that had made her so happy and carefree earlier in the evening was now dragging her down into that dark pit of despair and she felt like she wasdrowning.
Oh God, she sucked in the clean, fresh air and forced it back out slowly. Squeezing her eyes shut only made it worse. Not because the world tilted precariously under her feet when she did, but because images of Aubrey and Derek being intimate all but assaulted her. Her eyes flew back open and she stared out across the dark beach and into the midnight surf beyond, wishing she could just walk into it and let it swallow herup.
She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t. She’d thought that she could but one mention of Derek and sex and she totally lostit.
Memories of their first and only time hit her like punches to the gut and she had to force herself not to heave. A mistake, that was what he’d called it then and they’d never spoken of it again. It had been one night in two decades of friendship but it had changed everything, just not the way she’dhoped.
It had been the best night of her life. She’d thought it was the start of everything she’d always dreamed of with her best friend. But he hadn’t seen it that way, seen her that way, and he’d chalked it up to teenage hormones, alcohol and nostalgia. He’d crushed her hopes and dreams, shattered her heart, and she’d been a broken mess eversince.
Nomore.
Lulu sucked in a gasp of air and pushed it out her nose. She counted slowly as she did it. Up to ten and then back down. And only when she felt like she had full control of herself again did she release her death grip on the patiorailing.
