Page 24 of Should've Been Us
“Okay.” Sierra gave in easily, maybe too easily, because she cocked a brow, “Can I ask you something serious, though? Girl to girl? Friend to friend? Because I do think we could be great friends,Lulu.”
“Sure.” She shrugged, certain that whatever else Sierra wanted to talk about that it couldn’t be worse than the previousconversation.
“When you get that far off look in your eyes, what are you thinkingabout?”
Lulu blinked in confusion, “What?”
“I noticed it last night and then again today, sometimes you seem to just drift away, like you’re not entirelyhere.”
She hadn’t expected such a deep question from the woman that mostly talked about sex toys and orgasms. Lulu shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She didn’t think anyone had ever paid enough attention to her to notice those little moments but apparently this woman she’d just methad.
But how could she answer? How could she tell Aubrey’s best friend in the world that most of the time, when she got lost in her thoughts, she was thinking about Derek? About how unfair it was that he’d never love her the way she loved him? That she sometimes dreamed of the life they could have had together if only hedid?
She couldn’t tell Sierra that. She couldn’t tell anyone that. So she took another sip of the margarita she hadn’t intended to drink, trying to think of something, anything, that she could say instead of thetruth.
Sierra didn’t give her a chance to formulate a response though, she just sighed, “It’s fine. You don’t have to tell me. That wasn’t my pointanyway.”
“Itwasn’t?”
“No. I just wanted you to know that I noticed and that I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.” Sierra gave her a small smile that was equal parts pitying and indulgent, “And I’m not the only one that notices. He doestoo.”
“Who?” Lulu felt a grip of momentary fear that Sierra was talking about Derek but of course shewasn’t.
“Connor. He watches you and when you space out, when you disappear and you get that sad look in your eyes, that’s when he starts a fight. He pulls you back. He wipes away the sadness by replacing it with whatever he has at his disposal. The teasing? The fighting? He’s fighting foryou.”
Lulu started to open her mouth to tell Sierra that she was crazy, again, but the other woman held up a hand. It was a good thing. Because Lulu had no idea what would have actually come out of her mouth considering the jolt of pain that sliced at her chest when the blonde’s words sankin.
He fightsforyou.
“Just, think about it.” Sierra slid her empty margarita glass onto the table between them and then gracefully rolled to her feet, “I’m going to take a dip and cross getting fucked in the ocean off my bucket list.” She winked and then sashayed away with a finger roll before she called out, “Brenden Ramey, your wife is all hot and bothered come and do something aboutit.”
Lulu watched the biggest man on the beach fall in line with a grin of pure love on his face. The two of them waded into the water and then disappeared beneath a few waves. Lulu could just make out their heads bobbing down the beach after a few more minutes and she looked away since Sierra had made it clear what they were going to bedoing.
Much to her consternation, her eyes trailed back to Connor. She watched him from beneath her lashes as he said something to Dean that made the other man flip him off. The new blonde at his side and Nikki both giggled. Then to her surprise, the blonde simply patted Connor on the arm and turned and headed back up thebeach.
His eyes found hers and he smirked when he caught her staring. She quickly looked away because something traitorous warmed in her belly. Something that she had never, ever, let herself acknowledge and still refused to acceptnow.
Sierra was wrong. Crazy. Delusional. Connor didn’t fight with Lulu just to distract her from Derek. Didhe?
She bit her lip and closed her eyes, deciding that she’d spent far too much time and energy thinking about a man she didn’t even like today. She clearly needed to get some rest. She’d just take a little nap under the shade of her umbrella and when she woke up, she would remember that Connor wasn’t her friend no matter how nice he’d been beingtoday.
The Connor Shaw that she knew was only nice to her for one reason. He was working an angle. She just hadn’t figured out what it wasyet.
