Page 4 of Should've Been Us
She’d been calling him Shaw for as long as he’d worked with her older brother, Lance, down at the Fate Sheriff’s Department. Lance didn’t like Connor much either and used his last name as a curse more often than not. She’d picked up the habit mostly by accident but then kept it up when she realized it annoyed Connor. But if calling him by his first name would get him to go away right now, that was all Lulu caredabout.
“Okay… Connor.” She licked her lips, the name feeling strange on her tongue after so many years, “You’ve got yourself adeal.”
“For the whole week.” He smirked and she groanedagain.
“I should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy, not with you. It never is.” She twirled a finger, “Fine. I’ll call you Connor… all week… just so long as you keep your thoughts on me and Derek toyourself.”
“Sure.” He pushed up from the bar to his full height, looming over her. He moved so fast that she didn’t even have time to think of pulling away when he raised his hand. He tucked her hair behind her ear softly and then tilted her face up, forcing her to look him in the eye before he spoke again in a low, husky voice, “Not much left to say, is there? You’ve got to let him go, Lu. He chose her and you deserve better. You deserve a man that sees you and only you in a room full of people. You deserve to comefirst.”
Lulu stared up into hypnotizing blue eyes. Ocean eyes, one of her girlfriends had called them, because they looked a stormy blue-green up close. She’d already started to drown in them when his words hit her like a punch to the gut. Her world shifted slightly and her stomach turned as she realized what that strange look she hadn’t been able to placewas.
Pity.
She felt sick suddenly. It was the alcohol. It was the alcohol and the wrongness of this wholething.
Being in Mexico. Derek marrying Aubrey. Connor Shaw of all people standing here in front of her, touching her so gently, and telling her so earnestly that she deserved better. It was allwrong.
Lulu smacked his hand away with an outraged growl, “Don’t tell me what Ideserve.”
“Lu…” He sighed but she cut him off, not wanting to hear another word he had tosay.
“We had a deal,Connor.” She spit his name at him. “Go away. Leave me alone. I don’t need your pity or your judgment. Just go away and leave me the hell alone for once, would you? I’m not in the mood for your condescendingattitude.”
Connor scowled but stepped back, away from her, as if he sensed not doing so might lead to bodily harm. He was smarter than he looked. She breathed in the fresh air. She needed air that didn’t smell like him. Like man and musk and millions ofmistakes.
She didn’t trust him. She hated him. She hated his words and she hated how much they affectedher.
She and Connor always bantered. Back and forth, dig for dig. It was what they did. It was simply the game they played but he hadn’t just hit her in a soft spot this time. He’d sliced her wide open and it hurt. His words hurt. They made her ache. It was a low blow, even for him, especially right now when her emotions were so close to thesurface.
Before she could blink, she felt tears well up behind her eyes and she shoved off her chair. She wobbled slightly on her heels but she shoved Connor away when he reached out to help steady her. She wouldn’t cry. Not here. Not now. Not because of a stupid man that didn’t understandanything.
He didn’t understand that you couldn’t just stop loving someone because they didn’t love you back. If it were that easy, she’d have forgotten about Derek Harper years ago. She would have moved on, if only it were thatsimple.
Lulu rushed out of the bar, heading towards the bathroom and praying that she didn’t run into anyone else in the wedding party before she had a chance to get herself under control. She was already losing a lot this week. Her hopes and dreams for the future. Derek. But she refused to lose her dignitytoo.
