Page 65 of Should've Been Us
Chapter Fifteen
Today wasthe day Lulu had dreaded for months. Years even. And yet, as she looked at Aubrey standing there in her white dress, her hair curled and veil wafting in the light breeze from the fan, she didn’t feel a single pang ofjealousy.
Aubrey was marrying Derek today and Lulu wasn’t brokenhearted. She wasn’t wallowing in self-pity or recriminations. She wasn’t wishing the bride and groom ill will. She wasn’t even wishing that it washer.
Because she washappy.
She was happy for Aubrey. She was happy for Derek. But more than that even, she was just plainhappy.
Connor made her that way. He made her smile. He made her laugh. He pulled her out of her head whenever her tendency to get lost in thoughts and worries took over. He made her so ridiculously happy that she could only marvel that she’d somehow convinced herself she hated him all theseyears.
The truth was, she was in love with him. With Connor. Not with Derek. And for the first time in her life, everything finally seemed to makesense.
Connor was the one she was supposed to be with. Connor was the one that had held her together over the years. Connor was the one that made her laugh and cry and fight and yell and smile because he had the power to access every single one of her emotions. Connor was the one that owned her heart because he was the one that had helped her put it back together, to slide all the broken pieces back into place, and when it had finally clicked, he’d been inside it, at the center of it, making herwhole.
She loved him. It was just that simple and just that terrifying. Because she’d realized something crazy and important as he made love to her last night, as he broke down every one of her barriers and pushed her to admit the truth to herself and to him. She loved him and she had no idea what to do because she’d never been in lovebefore.
She’d only thought she was in love with Derek but what she and Derek had wasn’t love. It never had been. It had been obsession, fascination, idolization, but it hadn’t been love. Not the realkind.
It had been childish and immature and selfish. She’d wanted Derek for herself no matter what, no matter whether they made each other happy or miserable. She’d only wanted what she wanted and she’d been too stubborn to admit to herself that they’d outgrown any possibility of that kind of love a long timeago.
She’d come to this wedding with the single-minded purpose of letting him go. Once and for all. In every way. And amazingly enough, she had. It just hadn’t happened the way she’d expected itto.
This thing with Connor had taken her by surprise. She never could have predicted the two of them would become friends, let alone more. If she’d considered there was even a chance of the two of them hooking up, in all of their years of circling each other, she’d have chalked it up to a one-night stand. Too much booze and loneliness and a mistake they’d agree to never speak ofagain.
But this, them, it was so much more thanthat.
It had only been a week but it felt like… okay, it felt like a week. She smiled to herself at the thought. It felt like a really fast and crazy out of control roller coaster ride of a week. But it also felt like it was the start of something that could last forever, if she just gave in toit.
Last night, when Connor had made her watch them in the mirror, she’d seen every emotion he felt for her in his eyes. She’d felt it with every touch of his hands. Every thrust of his body into hers had brought them closer to the edge, to the point of no return, and when they’d fallen over the cliff she’d known that there was no goingback.
She didn’t wantto.
A knock sounded on the door of the bridal suite and Lulu turned her head to watch Anna hurry over to check who it was. All around her the bridesmaids were fussing over Aubrey and Lulu had felt strangely out of place all day. She wasn’t a friend of Aubrey. She wasn’t one of her bridesmaids. She should have been over there with Derek and the guys but of course that would have been too weird for all of them as she slipped into the sheath dress and did her hair and makeup so she’d been put with the other girls. She’d been looking for a way to escape all of the crying and hugging for hours so when Anna turned and said her name, her heartleapt.
“Lulu?” The younger girl gave her a knowing smile. “It’s foryou.”
She was already moving when Anna shifted the door open wide enough for her to see who was on the other side. Her heart didn’t just leap. It thumped so hard that she felt a shudder run down her spine at the sight of him. She’d known. She’d known that it would be him. He knew her so well. He must have known she’d be itching in her own skin in this room with all these girls who weren’t really her friends on a day that she had not been looking forward to atall.
Connor smiled and she had to steel her spine to keep from launching herself athim.
“Hey!” Aubrey squeaked, “What do you think you’redoing?”
“Stealing Lulu.” Connor’s eyes barely twitched to the bride, “The groom has requested to see his Best Woman before theceremony.”
“Oh.” Aubrey looked like she wanted to pout but Connor turned up his megawattsmile.
“He tried to sneak out to see you twice already and we had to threaten to cuff him to the sink.” He chuckled when Aubrey grinned, “He said to tell you that he’ll see you at the end of theaisle.”
“Thank you.” Aubrey brushed at her cheek as if wiping away a fresh tear, “Go on then before you make me cry and ruin my makeup, even if I don’t believe for a second you’re not stealing our Lulu off for your own naughty reasons, ConnorShaw.”
“Well notjustfor naughty reasons.” He gave a cocky wink before extending his hand, “Lu?”
She took it and when their fingers laced together automatically she hurried after him into the hallway. The simple touch of his hand in hers made her veins hot and her heart thump again. They fit together so well, so easily, and she loved that scrape of his rougher skin against hers when he stroked his thumb over herknuckles.
Without a word or another glance he led her down the hallway and she followed, skipping slightly in her high heels to keep up with him. Suddenly he turned a corner and then she found herself being crowded. Her back collided with the wall and Connor was in her personal space in an instant, his big body giving off so much heat she felt practically singed as he sank against her and lowered his head to take hermouth.
The first touch of their lips was slow and easy, gentle, but the second was harder, faster, passion building between them and rising as they tangled themselves together. Connor kissed her as if he was a sailor just home from months at sea despite the fact they’d been plastered together until wedding duties pulled them apart just a few hours ago. He kissed her desperately and she knew that she was returning the kiss the same way, because that was how he made herfeel.
