Page 67 of Should've Been Us
A week ago, her heart would have leaped and her mind would have raced with possibilities. She’d have hoped Derek had changed his mind. She’d have let herself believe that he needed to see her to declare his love so that they could run away together. But she knew better now that she’d taken the blindersoff.
Derek wasn’t going to call this wedding off. More importantly, even if he did, Lulu didn’t want him for herself. Not anymore. She wanted Connor and only Connor and she hated that just the thought of taking her to see their mutual friend was gnawing at hisconfidence.
She opened her mouth, prepared to tell him that she loved him but the look on his face stopped her. Now wasn’t the time. Not like this. She didn’t want him to think she was saying the words to reassure him. She didn’t want to say the words with anything about Derek still hanging betweenthem.
Instead she pulled him down and kissed him softly before sliding her mouth to his ear, “After I talk to Derek, if there’s time, I want you to fuck me in the nearest coat closet.” Connor groaned and she nipped at his earlobe. “I miss the way I feel when I’m full of you. You fill me up just right, just enough to make me feelwhole.”
“Lu...” Connor growled her name, low and sexy, before he all but slammed her back into the wall and stamped his mouth over hersagain.
This kiss was nothing but searing heat and promise. His tongue pushed in roughly and stroked deep. He ate at her, as if he could fuse them together if he willed it hard enough. She wrapped herself around him and held on tight, reveling in the feeling of power that making this man lose control gaveher.
“You make me crazy.” He grunted as he finally tore away from her, all but retreating across the hall to put space betweenthem.
“Back at ya, handsome.” She winked teasingly and he shuddered out a roughbreath.
“You’ve got me hard and horny and I just know if I slipped my hand under that slinky little dress I’d find you wet for me.” Connor ran a hand through his golden hair and glared at her, “And now I have to deliver you to Derek like some sort of errand boy, which pisses me off to noend.”
“Connor.” She stepped towards him and offered her hand, “You can take me to Derek. If he wants to talk, we can talk. But whatever he has to say, it isn’t going to change anything. You know that. Don’tyou?”
He stared at her for a long moment and her heart cracked open. He didn’t. He didn’t know. And she couldn’t tell him. Not like this. Not those words. But she could reassurehim.
“When I walk down that aisle, I’m not walking towards him. I’m walking towards you.” She slid into his personal space again and met his wary gaze. “I only see you. Only you. It’s you and me. Just us.Okay?”
He stood so still, like a statue, for so long that she started to think he wasn’t going to say a word. Finally, he took her hand and hugged her tight again. He kissed the top of her head. Then and only then, did he pull back and meet her gazeagain.
“Okay.”
“Okay.” She smiled alittle.
“Okay.” He smirked and when she groaned he chuckled, “Let’s go before I change my mind and haul you back to our bed. Derek’s probably wondering if I got lost as it is and the wedding is set to startsoon.”
“I’ll make it fast so we have time for that quickie.” She winked playfully as he pulled her further down thehallway.
“Don’t tempt me woman.” Connor growled and she giggled happily, knowing that she’d settled the worst of his nerves just as his mere presence had settledhers.
It wasn’t far down the hallway to the men’s dressing room. Connor stopped them in front of a plain white door similar to the one on Aubrey’s room just a few steps later. He looked at the door, frowned, and then tried to wipe the look away as he glanced back at her. Without a word, Lulu tilted her head up and brushed their lips together. When she pulled away that soft look was back in his eyes so she turned and opened the door before either of them lost theircourage.
Stepping inside, she’d expected to see the other groomsmen crowded around Derek just as the bridesmaids had been crowded around Aubrey. But the room was empty save for the single dark-haired man standing with his back to her, adjusting his collar in the floor length mirror. The door clicked shut behind her at the same time Derek turned to face her and for some reason, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of theroom.
He looked handsome. She could admit that, objectively. His dark hair and eyes were a contrast to the white dress shirt, showing off his tan and the white of his teeth when he smiled at her. Lulu steeled her spine, waiting for that rush of nerves and butterflies in her belly that always came when Derek settled his warm eyes and sweet smile on her, but they didn’t come. She almost breathed a sigh of relief that what she’d told Connor wastrue.
She didn’t feel anything for Derek anymore. Nothing except the familiarity of friendship and the platonic love that had always been between them. It was a love she’d tried to make into more but it had never been meant to be more. She didn’t even feel the frustration and annoyance that had begun to simmer between them over the last few years as she’d started to see his refusal to admit there was something more between them as a betrayal. The truth was, the only thing she felt here and now, in this room, alone with Derek, both of them dressed for his wedding to another woman, was a sense offinality.
Finally, they were both where they were supposed to be. They were both with people they loved. Both with people that made them happy. It never should have been the two of themtogether.
Derek had met and fallen for Aubrey instantly. For Lulu, being with Connor had come easily. Their relationship had evolved simply from being in each others presence. It came naturally. That was how love was supposed to be. That was the part of her parents’ marriage that she’d envied the most and somehow she’d lost sight ofthat.
She felt sheepish standing here in front of Derek now, knowing how wrong she’d been, how blind and selfish. She fidgeted, feeling suddenly uncomfortable in the slinky blue dress Aubrey had chosen for the girls. She opened hers mouth to say something, to try and break the awkward silence, but Derek chuckled and the sound was so familiar she only found herself smiling at him inreturn.
“Well, this isawkward.”
She snorted a laugh, “Saying it out loud doesn’t make it any lessawkward.”
“I know, but… I still needed to seeyou.”
“Forty-five minutes before your wedding? What for?” She tilted her head as he fidgeted with his collar again, “Is somethingwrong?”
“No. No of course not.” He spoke quickly and then sighed and shook his head, “That’s not entirelytrue.”
