Page 43 of Should've Been Us
“It should’ve been us. You and me. All this time it should’ve been us but he met you first and you fell for him and I never stood a chance until you let him go. He’s happy with Aubrey and you said you weren’t still in love with him so why, Lu? Why can’t we be together? Why can’t we be happytoo?”
“Connor.” She reached for his face, cupping it when he dropped to his knees in front of her, all but begging and breaking her heart open at the same time, “Connor, stop.Please.”
He looked up at her with hurt in those ocean blue eyes and she pulled him closer. She buried her face against his neck and just hugged him until he stopped breathing so hard. He finally wrapped his arms around her and she pulled back enough to look athim.
“I’m not in love with Derek. I haven’t been in a long time. I’m not sure if that’s even what I’d really call it. Obsessed is probably a better word for it. It wasn’t healthy and I’m putting it behind me. I’m here and I’m with you and I want to see if this is real.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat, “So, if it’s that important to you, you can tell him. I won’t stop you. But I think that if you stop thinking about us and think about the reason we’re all here that you’ll understand where I’m coming from when I say we shouldwait.”
Connor rested his forehead against hers, “Just tell me that it’s not because ofhim.”
“It’s not because of him. I told you. It’s not. I’d already decided it was time to move on I just, I didn’t see you coming. Not now. Not so soon. I don’t want to make this week about me. That’sall.”
“You think we’ll steal their thunder if we tell everyone we’re together?” He looked thoughtful instead of upset for the first time since she’d spoken up and shenodded.
“I think it’ll make everyone look at us and talk about us and we’re just the guests here.” She traced his jaw softly, “Please Con, can you try to understand where I’m comingfrom?”
He rubbed his hands up and down her back and sighed, “I won’t hide in the shadows and I won’t lie to him if he asks but I guess… at least for right now… I don’t have to go out of my way to tell himeither.”
“Thankyou.”
“Don’t thank me. I still don’t like it. But you’re right that this week isn’t about us. This is Derek and Aubrey’s week. I have the rest of my life to make you the center of myuniverse.”
“You’re a good man, Connor Shaw.” She leaned up and kissed himsoftly.
“About time you noticed.” He leaned down and kissed herback.
Her heart ached again when she thought about how stupid she’d been. Connor had been jealous. How had she not thought of that? She’d been tied up in her own issues with Derek for so long that she hadn’t even questioned Connor’s motives for being the way he was with her. Now that she knew, it broke her heart every time she thought aboutit.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t see you beforenow.”
“Shh, don’tapologize.”
“I treated you the same way he treated me and Ijust…”
“Shh, it’s always been you for me, Lu. Always. I waited twenty years. I’d have waited twentymore.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to gethere.”
“All that matters is that you’re here now.” Connor kissed her again, “And I’m not letting yougo.”
