Page 45 of Should've Been Us
“When’d you figure itout?”
“That’s a loaded question.” Derek scrubbed his chin and sighed heavily, “Let’s just say for now that I put two and two together when you both disappeared instead of going for drinks after the dance lessons lastnight.”
Shit. Connor cursed under his breath. Lulu was going to flay him alive for this. He cleared his throat and turned to stare out over the beautiful golfcourse.
He hadn’t broken his promise, had he? He’d told Lulu that he wouldn’t announce things and he hadn’t. He’d also told her that he wasn’t going to lie. From the way Derek was looking at him, Connor assumed their best friend knew everything anyway so lying would be nouse.
“We’re…together.”
“So why have you spent all dayscowling?”
“She hasn’t text me back since we left the resort and things are… complicated, between us.” He lowered hisvoice.
“Complicated.” Derek laughed, “You realize I’ve known you both for the better part of twenty years, right? Complicated is quite literally a day at the beach compared to you two hookingup.”
Connor winced when Derek’s words all but echoed Lulu’s doubts about them, “So you don’t think it’ll workeither?”
“No. That’s not what I said.” Derek looked thoughtful. “I think in a lot of ways, you’re perfect for eachother.”
“You’ve said yourself that we fight like cats anddogs.”
“That’s called passion, my friend.” Derek cuffed him on the shoulder, “You two have been putting off sparks for years. I think… well I think I always knew you’d end up with her eventually. It was never going to be me. I just, I don’t see her likethat.”
“You’re blind, Dare. You always have been when it comes toher.”
“No. Not blind.” His friend shook his head and glanced down at his hands, “Willfully ignorant maybe, I just… I feel like the three of us have been circling each other for a long time. To tell you the truth, I saw the way you looked at her years ago. I knew you wanted her and the best I could do was try to stay out of the way of youboth.”
Connor stared at his friend in complete bewilderment. Derek knew. He’d known? He’d always known how Connor felt about Lulu from what he was saying. He’d known and he’d never said a word, not until now. Connor frowned, his jaw tensing as he realized that Derek could have done a hell of a lot more than simply ignore Lulu’s feelings for the past decade if he really thought they were perfect for eachother.
He could have set her straight years ago. He could have cut her loose. He could have helped Connor figure out what the hell to do about the crazy attraction he felt to the girl that rode his last nerve and wanted his best friend instead ofhim.
“You knew? All this time?” He gripped the wheel of the golf cart, “You knew I was in love withher?”
“No. Hell no. If I’d known that, things would’ve gone different I swear. I honestly thought you just wanted to fuck her,Con.”
“Jesus.” He swiped a hand over his face as the blows just keptcoming.
“Hear me out. You’ve had a reputation for loving and leaving the ladies for a long time. I wasn’t about to let Lulu be another notch on your bedpost. Not her. I may not love her the way a man loves a woman but I do love her, as a friend and a sister. She’s like family tome.”
“And you really thought so little of me that you used yourself as a barrier to keep her away from me all thistime?”
“I’m sorry for that.” Derek sighed, “I really am. More than you canimagine.”
“So what changed? I mean, clearly Lulu had to let go of the idea of you as her White Knight since you’re marrying Aubrey but why are you telling me all this now? Why agree to let me room with her in the bungalow? Why let her be my buddy for those stupid events if you thought all I really wanted was to bang her out of mysystem?”
Derek winced, “It was Bree,actually.”
“What?”
“It was Bree that said I should give you a chance. My girl told me about everything you’ve done in the weeks leading up to the wedding. All the times you showed up out of nowhere to help Lulu get through whatever wedding chore Bree had given her. She told me that she saw the way you looked at Lulu sure, but she also saw the way you were with her. Gentle when she needed it. Sharp when she didn’t. It was Bree that convinced me you wanted more than just to fuck through whatever issues you twohave.”
“So I have Bree to thank. Not you.” Hescoffed.
“Yeah.” Derek sighed again, “Look, I’m sorry for the way things played out the last few years. I never wanted to hurt Lulu. She’s my best friend. It kills me to know I’ve caused her pain. But the thought of you hurting her? Jesus Con, I’d have to kill you and I don’t want to kill my oldest friend. Do you getthat?”
Connor snorted as he watched Dean and Reed joking around on the green, waiting for their turn to hit. He hadn’t expected to have this conversation with Derek. Not here. Not now. Not ever really. It hurt to know his friend had thought so little of him and to find out that even now, Derek doubted whether Connor could make Lulu happy. But he supposed if he harnessed his temper and looked at the fucked up situation they’d all been in for the better part of their lives, with him wanting Lulu and Lulu wanting Derek and Derek trying to tread the line between them, that he could see where Derek was coming from when he threatened to kill him if he hurtLulu.
They both loved the girl, in their ownway.
