Page 52 of Should've Been Us
As much as she wanted to tell him that of course there was more to it than just sex, she couldn’t get her throat to work properly. Just the thought of admitting she wanted more from him caused fear to paralyze her. Because despite their time together and despite what he’d said, Connor didn’t do relationships and she knewthat.
Just like she knew that it was impossible for her to admit that two days ago she’d thought she was in love with Derek and now she was falling for Connor. It was impossible. She knew now that she’d deluded herself into believing what she felt for Derek was love when really it had only been the lackluster memory of loving him that had kept her drawn to him. It hadn’t been real, but it had felt thatway.
And that was what scared her the most, because if what she’d felt for Derek wasn’t real, how could she possibly trust herself to fall in love withConnor?
They were on vacation. This wasn’t real life. They were in a romantic resort, on a Mexican beach, drinking and flirting and playing. She’d said herself there would be hookups at this wedding. She just hadn’t intended to be amongthem.
So why then didn’t this thing with Connor feel like a hook-up?
“Lulu.” He sighed heavily, sadness in his eyes as he stroked her cheek, bringing her back to the moment, to the present, tohim.
“I….” She swallowed hard and felt her lip tremble with fear, “I don’tknow.”
Disappointment crossed his handsome face but he hid it by leaning forward and pressing a chaste, sweet kiss against her forehead, when he pulled back his eyes were serious, “Yes, you do. You’re just too scared to admit it. But that’s okay. I’ve waited for you this long, baby. I told you I’d wait forever if I had to but I think, after today I’ve got a betteridea.”
“Y-you do?” She managed, his words making her throat tight in an all newway.
“Mmm.” His eyes twinkled, “I think I’m going to keep making love to you until you don’t feel whole without me. Until you’re not scared of how I make you feel anymore. Until you’re only scared of how you feel when you’renotwithme.”
Connor didn’t wait for her reply, which was good, because she didn’t have one that she could put her voice to. This man overwhelmed her in so many ways. He’d always been honest to a fault and that was how she knew he meant every word that he’d said toher.
He would wait for her. He would continue to make her feel things that nobody else ever had or ever could. He would love her until she was ready to admit that she loved himtoo.
He hadn’t said the words. Not yet. Not outright. But he’d shown her time and time again and now that she’d truly seen him, she knew there was no going back. Her fears. Her doubts. Her worries. He’d overcome them all because that was just the kind of man Connor Shawwas.
The bestman.
