Page 22 of Imperfect Saint
He eyed her for a long moment. She could see him trying to decide. He didn’t want to relive the story. She understood that. But there was so much about him that she didn’t know, that she wanted to know, and she thought, maybe, this was as good a place to start as any. Finally, Hunter took a deep breath and let it out as he began to speak.
“We were on patrol. It was twilight, that weird time between day and night where everything is shimmery and gold. I hated that time of day there. With the desert all around us, it made everything seem hazy and out of focus.” His brows furrowed again but he pressed on, “Anyway, we didn’t see the IED at all. It went off ahead of me, blew me backwards onto my ass and rained metal down onto me. I got knocked in the head with something and passed out. When I woke up I was back at base and it was days later. They’d done the surgery while I was unconscious, digging parts of the Humvee out of my arm they were embedded so deep.”
“Oh, Hunter.” She squeezed his hand but he only shook his head.
“Don’t pity me, Millie. I was one of the lucky ones. Four men died that day. Another two lost limbs. All I got was a few scars, just enough to be a constant reminder that I got off easy. My friends, my brothers, came home in boxes and I walked away with some scratches so I tried covering them up, inking over them, pretending it never happened, but pain doesn’t work like that. I survived and every day I remind myself that I have to live my life to the fullest, because my buddies didn’t get that chance.”
Millie swallowed past the lump in her throat, “I don’t pity you but I am sorry you went through that.”
“It’s part of military life.” He tried to shrug it off but she held tight to his hand.
“For what it’s worth, I’m really glad you made it through so I could get the chance to meet you.”
A small flicker of a smile softened his hard face and he reached up with his free hand and stroked her hair, “It’s worth everything, Mills.”
Her heart gave an unsteady beat as she stared up at him. His golden green eyes were warm and gentle and never left her face. God, the way he looked at her sometimes… it scared her to death. He scared her. She wanted to leap into his arms and run away all at the same time.
After she’d finally gotten away from Joshua, she’d promised herself that she would never again let a man have that much control over her. She’d refused to let herself fall for fear she’d never be able to climb back up again. Joshua had nearly destroyed her and giving another man that kind of power absolutely terrified her.
But she could fall for Hunter, so easily, and she knew now, in this moment, that she already was.
He was gorgeous and funny. He was smart and kind. He was a little bit broken too and he looked at her like she made his world a better place to be. He made her body react to him in ways she hadn’t known were possible and he scared her because control was the one thing she’d vowed never to give up again but she had no control at all over how Hunter made her feel.
“Mills?” He gave her hair a small tug, just enough to pull her out of her thoughts, “What’re you thinking?”
“I was thinking, you shouldn’t keep this covered all the time. It’s part of you, part of your story, part of what makes you, you.” She bit her lip and glanced up at him from under her lashes, “And for the record? I think it’s really, really sexy.”
He groaned, “Don’t say stuff like that unless you mean it.”
“I do mean it.” She smiled at his reaction, “I like it, a lot.”
“Well, then I’m glad, I guess.” He stroked her hair one last time and then pulled away, “Come on. We’ve got a big day tomorrow. Get in bed and I’ll shut off the lights.”
“Oh… um… okay.”
Hunter raised an eyebrow when she fumbled over her words. Just like that, her heart was racing again. Her mind was whirling. And when she dropped her gaze to the floor again, she heard his heavy sigh.
“Mills?”
“Yeah?”
“Look at me.” His voice was firm and when she glanced up, he shook his head, “You don’t have anything to worry about, sweetheart. I would never take advantage of this situation, or you. I’m not getting into that bed or any other with you until you ask me to. I’m going to grab the extra blanket and pillow and sleep on that couch tonight.”
Millie glanced from him to the couch and back again. She blinked in confusion. The couch was tiny. It was mostly decorative. It was more of a bench really and there was no way someone Hunter’s size could sleep on it, not comfortably at least. She’d gotten it in high school and put it in the little window nook along with her bookcase so that she could sit there and look out over the pastures and read. It hadn’t even been comfortable enough to sit on for long periods if she remembered correctly.
She shook her head, “What? No.”
“Yes.” He reached for the pillow opposite her but she grabbed the other end, “Millie, let go.”
“No.” She shook her head again, “You can’t sleep on that thing, Hunter. It’s tiny and hard as a rock.”
“Trust me. I’ve slept in worse places.”
“Not when there was a perfectly useable bed right next to it.”
“Millie.” He said her name again as he ran a hand through his dark hair, “Look, I know you’re trying to do the polite thing here but, you don’t have to. I’m giving you the easy way out. You’re not comfortable sharing a bed with me. Not yet. And until you are, I’m not pressing my luck, babe.”
Her heart gave another of those strange little flutters and she tightened her grip on the pillow. Maybe he did know her better than she’d realized. Clearly, he’d read her mind because she’d been second-guessing whether sharing a bed with him was a good idea before he even came out of the bathroom. But after he’d shared such a personal story about his past, about his scars and his ink, she felt closer to him than she ever had and she didn’t like the idea of forcing him to sleep on the floor, or even that bench, like some stranger.
