Page 2 of Imperfect Saint
Millie still handled Lemon’s professional life personally though, and had no plans to hand over her biggest client, and closest friend, to anyone else. Ever. Despite the distance between Nashville and Fate, Texas, Millie still managed Lemon’s schedule and appearances and made sure the musician was meeting her deadlines. Lemon had scaled back on her professional commitments to spend time with her new family but she was still one of the highest grossing female country music artists of all time.
Millie was happy for Lemon. Even if it meant her working life had been turned upside down with all the changes. Even if she sometimes thought about how Lemon had gotten the perfect life that Millie had always imagined for herself. Lemon had the handsome husband that adored her and step-daughters that embraced her on top of a career she loved. Millie had thought she would have all of that and more once upon a time, back before her dreams came crashing down around her like a house of cards. She was happy for Lemon, even if sometimes that insidious green thing inside her felt like it was going to strangle her in jealousy and sadness.
Millie shook off the melancholy that always seeped in with those kinds of thoughts and tried to focus on work, “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“Not for a while.” Lemon shrugged.
“Did you get the contract all worked out with the label about the next tour?”
“Yes,Mom.” Lemon did her best annoyed teenager impression and blew a long strand of blonde hair off her face, “Now stop trying to change the subject and tell me what we’re going to do about this wedding situation.”
“There is no we. Not for this. Stop worrying about something that isn’t your problem. I’m fine.” She shook her head but her boss dropped her feet back to the floor to sit upright.
“Seriously, Mills. I may not be around as much but I still know you, and I know you’re freaking out about seeing him again, so don’t give me that bullshit about being fine. You’re not fine and no amount of smiling and pretending everything is okay is going to convince me otherwise, so just tell me the truth. What’s your plan?”
Never had Millie regretted telling Lemon about her history with Joshua as much as she did right then. Lemon didn’t know the whole story, but she knew enough. Lemon knew that Joshua had insisted on total control in their relationship and that he hadn’t understood the concept of commitment. She also knew they’d had a volatile on-again, off-again relationship since they were teenagers. Therefore, Lemon knew enough to hate him which was why this wasn’t the first time the blonde had pressed Millie on the issue of the wedding invitation or more specifically her brother’s choice of Best Man.
Lemon couldn’t believe that Millie had never told her brother the real reason she’d ended things with Joshua for good. She thought Colin needed to know that his best friend wasn’t the good guy he thought he was. But Lemon didn’t understand. She couldn’t possibly understand because even she didn’t know the whole story and Millie never intended to tell her, or anyone, especially not her brother.
She’d only told Colin about the one infidelity. When her brother had gotten angry, she’d told him that she was fine, that she and Joshua had drifted apart and seeing him with another woman had finally made her realize they weren’t the same people they’d been as teenagers when they had gotten together. Colin hadn’t liked it, but he’d accepted that explanation.
He wouldn’t have accepted the rest of it quite so easily, and so she hadn’t told him. She hadn’t told anyone. Not really.
She avoided talking about that part of her life. She avoided going home whenever she could. She avoided events where she knew Joshua would be in attendance. But she’d always known that eventually, someday, she’d have to face him.
But even knowing it was inevitable, didn’t mean she was ready for it.
Millie bit her lip, “I don’t think I can do it, Lem.”
“Do what?”
“Go.”
Lemon gave her a look of disappointment, “Of course you’re going. You can’t miss your brother’s wedding. Colin would never forgive you. Besides, you’re Millie fucking Turner. You don’t run from a fight. You go in guns blazing with everything you’ve got.”
Millie snorted, because no, she wasn’t a fighter. Not at heart. But the one thing she’d learned, after leaving Joshua, was that if she didn’t fight for herself nobody else would. She was a much better fighter when it came to her job, and her clients’ careers, than she was in her personal life.
“You’re going to that wedding and you’re going to keep your chin high and your pride intact and if that bastard so much as tries to speak to you, you’re going to throw a glass of wine in his face.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why the hell not?” Lemon crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow, waiting.
“Because it’s Joshua.”
“And?”
“And…” She didn’t want to admit to Lemon what she had a hard time admitting even to herself. A small part of her was still clinging to the idea of Joshua as her other half. Even after everything he’d done, some small part of her still wished that he truly had been the man of her dreams. She groaned, “He was supposed to be it for me, Lemon. Even when we were little our parents talked about us ending up together, uniting our families. He was supposed to be my Prince Charming.”
“But he turned out to be Prince Douchebag instead.”
“I know.” Millie mentally chastised herself for letting those old useless hopes about changing Joshua creep back into her mind. “But you’ve never met him. You don’t know how determined he can be when he wants something. He knows me inside and out. He knows exactly which buttons to push. He plays mind games and I don’t trust myself not to fall for it again.”
Lemon frowned. “You’re too smart to fall for his bullshit again.”
“If that was true, don’t you think I would have ended things with him before it ever got started? I’ve broken up with him a dozen times and a dozen times he’s managed to win me back. I’m not smart. Not when it comes to him. And I hate him for that, really I do…” She hated him for so many reasons but hating him didn’t change things, not really.
“But?” Lemon prompted when she trailed off.
