Page 11 of Once Upon A Valentine
Bran scratched his head, in awe at the speech Roman was giving. He couldn’t remember a time in his life that Roman had ever been so vocal. He’d given advice to all of them as they grew up but since the accident, he’d rarely been this open with his emotions. Bran supposed he had Ash to thank for this version of his uncle as well.
“How do you… do that?”
“Do what?” Roman tilted his head slightly, as if he didn’t understand the question.
“How do you know what’s going on inside my head? Like you’ve been there?”
“Because I have.” Roman admitted softly. “I’ve always told you that you’re too much like me. I meant it. You’ve always been more like me than either of your brothers. I did the party scene and I turned my back on the family company because I had a brother that was responsible enough to take care of it. Then, after the accident, I pulled away from everyone too. I pulled away from the entire world. But you and your brothers forced me to return to it. You boys gave me Ash and I’ll always be grateful for that. My hope is that you continue to be like me and you learn to accept that you deserve love and happiness, just like I did.”
Bran scrubbed a hand over his face. It was true. His uncle had always said Bran was the one most like him. He realized now just how true the words were. Not just because Roman had also spent his early adulthood as a partying playboy but because they had the same coping mechanism. They both pulled away from those around them in an effort to protect themselves. Roman had gone so far as to hole up behind the walls of his estate and become a recluse for years after the accident. Bran hadn’t cut himself off from the world but he had guaranteed he wouldn’t form any real connections.
Julian’s words from the night before rang in his ears for the five billionth time.Grow up. He’d felt the words like a punch in the gut last night but today, he had to admit it was far past time. He couldn’t keep going this way or he’d end up alone forever, the thing that scared him the most.
“Does this… do you, forgive me then?” He cleared his throat.
Roman smiled softly, “I do. I understand what kind of headspace you were in last night and I forgive you for lashing out. Just don’t let it happen again.”
“I won’t.” He sincerely promised.
“I know it couldn’t have been easy for you last night, seeing everyone around you so happy and in love.” Roman gave a heavy sigh, “And I wish Gibson had spoken to me before he decided to invite that friend from work as some sort of set-up.”
“Julian.” Bran’s lips twitched slightly. “His name is Julian.”
“Yes. He seems like a nice enough man but I don’t know what Gibson was thinking all but shoving him at you last night.”
Bran snorted, “He was thinking that I’ve never been brave enough to ask Jules out myself, so he did it for me.”
Roman’s dark brows shot up, “Oh, so you know the guy? And you… like him?”
“I do. I like him a lot actually but…” Bran nodded and then sat back on the couch and sighed.
“But?” Roman prompted.
“But I’ve always known that he’s too good for me. He’s not one of the party-scene guys I can hook up with and then ghost in the morning. He’s not an itch to scratch. He’s a good man and he deserves more than that.”
“So give him more than that.”
“It’s not that simple.” Bran snorted at Roman’s easy response.
“Of course it is. Don’t be stupid, Branson. You may be many things but stupid isn’t one of them. You say this Julian of yours deserves better sobebetter. You say he deserves more so give him more. If he feels the same way about you that you seem to about him, then you should at least try, shouldn’t you?”
Bran scrubbed a hand over his face, letting his uncle’s words really sink in. He’d liked the way it sounded when Roman said Julian was his. He wanted that. He couldn’t deny it. But it was hard to get past all of the doubts and the fears. He’d spent a long time keeping people at arm’s length and letting Julian in, opening himself up to the kind of relationship Julian had told him that he needed last night… it was terrifying but, he could admit, also a little exciting.
Julian had told him exactly what he wanted from him last night. He wanted a relationship but he needed more than that. He needed to be in control, and not just in the bedroom. He wanted to take care of Bran and God, when was the last time he’d let anyone take care of him? It was appealing all on its own but the fact that it was Julian, his Jules, that wanted him all to himself, made something deep inside of him all but growl with desire.
He just wasn’t sure if he could do it. Not all of it. He’d been on his own so long. He’d always had problems with authority figures, even before his parents died. He loved the idea of Julian being dominant in bed, had in fact always preferred his lovers to be the ones in control so that he could just enjoy himself, but he couldn’t help but worry that outside of the bedroom he would grow to despise Julian for trying to control him, even if he longed for it at the same time.
“What is it?” Roman broke into his thoughts, brows knit together in worry.
“Sorry, what?”
“You had this look on your face like… well, I don’t know what. So why don’t you tell me whatever it is you were trying to work out all alone in your head and we figure it out together instead?”
The top of Bran’s ears flushed red with embarrassment as he thought about discussing this particular topic with his uncle, “I don’t know.”
“Oh come now. Whatever it is, trust me. I can handle it.”
Bran shifted uncomfortably on the couch again but Roman’s words did make sense. He wasn’t completely naïve. He hadn’t been in a long time. He knew the kind of things his uncle was into, or had been into back in his wilder days. And, after all, it was Roman that always said Bran was too much like him for his own good. Maybe he really could understand and help him.
