Page 18 of Once Upon A Valentine
Bran’s body tensed beside him but his arm tightened around Julian’s back when he spoke, “This. I want this, Jules. You and me. Us, making a life together.”
Julian’s heart did that melting thing again but he refused to be sidetracked by Bran’s sweet side. As much as he loved hearing that Bran wanted to spend their lives together, they both knew that wasn’t what he was talking about. He couldn’t let Bran get away with putting it off any longer.
“Other than us. You know what I’m talking about. You can’t live off your trust fund forever.”
“I could, actually.” Bran snorted.
“But you won’t. You need a purpose. You can’t just sit around the apartment and do nothing while I go to work every day.”
“What? You don’t think I’m cut out to be a house husband?”
Jules looked up so that Bran could see his frown, “I’m being serious.”
Bran frowned right back at him, “I know you are.”
“If you’re not going to be the parting playboy anymore, what are you going to be, Branson?”
“Yours.” Bran offered a soft smile. “Can’t I just be yours?”
Julian leaned up and kissed him because really, what else was he supposed to do when the man was so damn sweet? Bran kissed him back but when he tried to deepen the kiss Julian asserted control. He nipped at Bran’s bottom lip as he pulled away.
“You are mine, Branson.” He soothed a hand over Bran’s rough jaw, “You never have to worry about that. I told you when we started this relationship that I’d take care of you, but you have to help me by taking care of yourself. I know that this life doesn’t fulfill you. You aimlessly wander the city all day and when I come home, I can see it in your eyes. You want more but to give it to you, I have to know what it is that you want to do with your life.”
Bran stared at the ceiling for a long time before he blew out a rough breath, “You mean a job.”
“I mean, a purpose. Do you want to go back to college? Learn something new? Become a scuba instructor? I don’t care what you do but you have todosomething other than wait for me to come home every day. That’s not a life and I want more for you than that. I think you want more too but with everything that’s happened in your past, you’re scared to admit it. Only you don’t have to be scared anymore. I told you, I’d give you anything you want. Just tell me.”
Bran’s hand had come up to stroke through Julian’s hair. He’d realized early on in their relationship that Bran was a texture guy. He was touch sensitive, as if it had been so long since anyone had ever touched him with love or care that he relished it now. He soaked in Julian’s touches and always sought a way to connect them, oftentimes stroking his fingers through Julian’s hair as they talked.
Finally, Bran licked his lips and nodded, “I think I’ve always known that the place I belong is the same place I’ve been avoiding for the last ten years.”
Julian felt the pain in Bran’s words but forced himself to ask anyway, “Frost Financial?”
“Yeah.” Bran nodded. “It’s what Dad always wanted, the three of us working together at his company. Gibson has always said there’s a place for me there, if I want it, but I’ve never let myself admit that it’s something I could want without the fear of fucking it up.”
“You want to work with your brothers at Frost Financial? I thought you hated the place.”
“I do.” Bran snorted, “And I don’t. It’s… complicated.”
“Tell me about it.”
Bran shifted slightly and he was silent for so long that Julian thought he wasn’t going to answer. Julian waited. They’d been together long enough that Bran knew it wasn’t a question. Julian expected a response and Bran would give him one. He gave him the time to formulate his answer and was rewarded when Bran finally started talking again.
“The last time I saw my dad alive was in that office. Gibson’s office. The one he took over. I can barely stand to walk in there even though Gibson’s completely redecorated. It looks different and I’m different. I’m not that seventeen-year-old boy that screamed horrible things at my father just hours before he died, but damn if it doesn’t feel like I’m that same worthless kid when I walk into that room. It’s like Dad’s ghost is in there, watching me, judging me, knowing that I’ve let him down in every way imaginable.”
“Oh, Bran.” Julian stroked his cheek again, “You fought with your father that day?”
It made so much sense. Julian was surprised he hadn’t thought about it before. Bran had been rebelling against everything the Frost family stood for since the day his parents died. He should have known that Bran was carrying some sort of guilt for what had happened. In a way, he had known that the death of his parents was what had sent Bran down the path he chose but he hadn’t known that it was all because Bran had fought with his father that day and, from the sound of it, never been able to resolve their argument.
“Yeah. It was bad, Jules. I said things…” Bran’s voice choked up and he cleared his throat. “I said things I never got a chance to take back.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” Julian kissed his chest, over his heart. “I don’t know what I could say to make that better for you except that it was a long time ago. You were a teenager and you’re not that same kid anymore. I’m sure your father wouldn’t want you to carry the hurt of those words around for the rest of your life.”
“It’s not just that, it’s what he said too. He wanted a certain kind of life for me and I’ve done my damndest to avoid it for so long just to punish him, or maybe just to punish myself. He’d be embarrassed of me if he could see what I’ve become.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“Isn’t it?” Bran huffed.
