Page 67 of Impulsive Saint
Her smile dropped a little when she thought of Aaron, all alone in Colorado on their honeymoon. She’d done her best not to think of him while she was on this journey but whenever she did, a jolt of pain and guilt always cut through her chest. Despite everything, he’d been her best friend once and she didn’t like the way they’d left things. As much as she dreaded facing him when she returned to Nashville, she knew that if there was any hope of retaining his friendship that she’d have to talk to him, and soon.
She wondered if Kelsey had any updates on what Aaron was doing and more importantly how he was doing. She hadn’t asked the few times they’d talked recently and Kelsey hadn’t brought him up, more interested in getting as many dirty details out of her best friend as she could about the mysterious motorcycle man of her dreams. Kelsey and Aaron had never been close but if anyone at home knew the gossip of how he was dealing with her rejection, it would be Kelsey.
With nothing else to do but wait for Tyler to get out of the shower so they could go to dinner, she made the decision to text Kelsey and ask if she’d heard anything about Aaron. It couldn’t hurt anything to ask after all and if Kelsey didn’t know anything new then at least she could reassure her that nothing horrible had befallen him.
She found herself humming along to the song that Tyler was singing in the bathroom as he showered. He always sang in the shower and it was always some hilariously dated song from the nineties. It had bugged the hell out of her at first, when they were trapped together in those grimy motels and he was all but torturing her but now she found it cute and oddly endearing.
As it turned out, love really was blind, and also immune to bad taste in music.
She moved to retrieve her phone from the nightstand where she’d plugged it in after she and Tyler finally wore themselves out with sex. He’d plugged his own in beside hers and it had made her smile. There was something so domestic, so normal, about seeing their phones side by side, charging on a nightstand. Like everything with Tyler, it felt completely natural.
Maybe that was why, when his phone buzzed, she picked it up to see who was messaging him instead of simply yelling to let him know he had a text and going on with her own business. It wasn’t a conscious decision; she knew that much. It was a basic reaction to the buzzing of a phone to look down and read the message that appeared on the screen.
And yet, in that split second between reading the words and the sense of betrayal that came as they sank in, she wished that she’d never walked out of that closet, never crossed the room to contact Kelsey, never wondered where her ex-fiancé was and what he was doing, because if she’d never done any of those things, she wouldn’t be standing there now with a cell phone in her hand and tears running down her face as her heart broke into a million little pieces.
Ashtyn collapsed to the bed when her knees felt too shaky to hold her up any longer. She stared at the message on the phone, the words that she knew would haunt her for the rest of her life, and then she did the only thing that she could do. She swiped right, opening the message, because Tyler wasn’t the kind of man that kept a passcode on his phone and never once in all their many hours together had she wondered why he seemed so protective of his phone but didn’t lock it.
She should have wondered. She knew that now. She should have realized he was hiding something the first time he refused to let her use his phone to call home and check in. She’d simply chalked it up to him wanting to inconvenience her and then, once she’d sneakily purchased her own, she hadn’t needed to ask him for his any more anyway. She hadn’t given it much thought but now she couldn’t help but think of all the times during their trip when he’d hung the phone up quickly as she entered the room or how he always said he was only checking in with his brother before jamming the phone back into his pocket and changing the subject.
Tears blurred her vision and she wiped them away with the back of her free hand as she scrolled through the dozens and dozens of messages between Tyler and his brother. He hadn’t lied about that part at least, but he hadn’t exactly told her the whole story either. He had been texting with his brother, Vaughn, the eldest of his siblings, but it hadn’t just been to tell the other man he was safe on the road.
Vaughn was actually Vaughn St. James, head of All Saints Security, the company her father had apparently hired as extra protection for the well-publicized wedding, according to the texts she was reading. She hadn’t dealt with any of the security issues, instead letting her father, Aaron and the wedding coordinator handle that aspect of planning. Somewhere in the back of her mind she’d known that she recognized the St James name but only in the vaguest sense that she had heard it somewhere before.
She’d simply assumed she recognized Tyler’s name because he was one of Aaron’s friends but really, had she honestly believed that any man as rough around the edges as Tyler was a friend of her fiancé? Had she truly thought a friend of Aaron’s would sweep her away on a road trip and then sweep her off her feet? Or had she purposefully ignored all the signs that Tyler wasn’t who she thought he was because she needed him to get her out of Nashville and then because she’d wanted him so badly?
Still, whatever reason she’d conjured for Tyler’s presence at her wedding, for his agreement to take her on this trip, she had never, ever, not even once, considered that it was because he was being paid to look after her like some kind of babysitter.
It was all there in the text messages and she read as much as she could through the tears, scrolling back to the day of the wedding and moving forward slowly. She was shocked to learn it was her mother who had asked Tyler to take her on the trip and keep it a secret from her. She’d thought if anyone understood why she had to do this on her own that it was her mother. And God, it nearly gutted her to think that she’d called her mom when she was arguing with Tyler and all but told the woman she was falling for him.
Why hadn’t her mother said something then? Why had she left Ashtyn in the dark, oblivious to Tyler’s true intentions for being with her? She must have guessed that he and Ashtyn had become entangled romantically but she hadn’t put a stop to it. She found herself shaking her head as she read through Vaughn’s texts demanding updates for the first Mrs. Echols and the Senator time and time again, making it clear that they’d known her whereabouts and what she was doing almost every minute of the trip she’d thought she was finally braving on her own.
Tyler’s messages to Vaughn had grown shorter the longer he’d spent in Ashtyn’s presence. He’d stopped relating every detail of their days on the road to his brother but she only felt sicker when she realized that change in his demeanor had occurred almost simultaneously with the first time that they’d gone to bed together. Because of course Tyler hadn’t relayed that she’d seduced him, it wouldn’t have been professional considering he was being paid to watch over her and God did it hurt to remember his reaction that first morning after, when he’d told her it was a mistake.
He’d been right and she hadn’t even known it, couldn’t have known it, because he hadn’t come clean and told her the truth.
He’d lied. Time and again he’d lied through sheer omission and blurring the facts. She had opened herself up to him, shown him all the parts of her that she’d hidden from everyone else in her life. She’d shared her hopes and dreams with him as well as her failures and her desire to change her fate. But he hadn’t returned that openness, no matter how much he divulged about his strange family situation or the way his brothers treated him. She’d shown him the real Ashtyn, the woman nobody before him had ever been allowed to see, and all the while he’d been hiding his true self from her, lying about who he was and why he was with her.
“Hey Ash…” His voice floated to her through the bathroom door and she flinched. “What do you think about trying that sushi restaurant the concierge mentioned?”
Bile rose in her throat and Ashtyn shook her head, trying to swallow it down. No. No, she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t sit here and talk to him as if nothing had changed when everything had changed. She didn’t trust him anymore and she didn’t trust herself to deal with any of this right now. She was too raw, to hurt and angry and desperate to hear that she was somehow reading it all wrong even though she knew she wasn’t.
She was in love with him and it was going to destroy her but she had to get away from him, now, while she still could.
Ashtyn stood so quickly that she wobbled on the fancy wedge heels she’d donned before her world imploded all over again. She grabbed her own phone off the charger, leaving Tyler’s on the bed where it had fallen from her hand. She didn’t look around for anything else, didn’t even know where her bag with her few personal items was at in the big hotel suite. But it didn’t matter. She didn’t need any of it. She had her phone and the truth and the only other thing she needed in that moment was distance, space away from Tyler to think, to breathe, and to figure out her next move.
She was already out of the bedroom and into the living area when she heard the bathroom door open behind her and Tyler say her name. She didn’t stop. She couldn’t. Her feet propelled her across the marble floor, towards the door, and she didn’t look back. She couldn’t. She heard Tyler say her name again and then she heard his footsteps behind her, following her into the big open living space just as her hand twisted the doorknob.
“Ashtyn!” his voice was firm and demanding. “Hey! Stop!”
Despite everything inside of her telling her to run, she froze. Her hand was on the doorknob. All she had to do was turn it and she would be gone. She could get away from him, get some fresh air, cry herself into a puddle of regret somewhere nobody would ever think to look for her. But his voice when he spoke again, the hurt and confusion she could hear in it, had her stuck, even as her shoulders began to shake and tears clouded her vision again.
“Ashtyn, sweetheart, talk to me. Where are you going? What’s wrong?”
She leaned her forehead against the cool door and shook her head, refusing to turn around and look at him because her voice was already wavering with half-swallowed sob, “Y-you got a text from your b-brother while you were in the shower. I didn’t mean to look but I was standing right there and I saw… I saw who you really are. Tyler St James, of All Saints Security. You’re a bodyguard, and here’s the kicker. Apparently, you’remybodyguard.”
Silence echoed in the big room and Ashtyn bit her lip. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected but she deflated even more with his lack of reaction. He didn’t gasp. He didn’t curse. He didn’t even try to deny what she’d seen by telling her she had misread the message.
Tyler’s voice was softer when he spoke again, “I was planning to tell you tonight, after dinner. I knew I couldn’t keep it from you anymore.”
