Page 69 of Impulsive Saint
“A coworker?” Ashtyn’s voice was soft but sharp. “You mean your brother.”
“No. I mean a coworker. I didn’t want Vaughn to know I was late because he was already riding my ass about being more reliable. When I told you my older brother is married to his job, I meant it. That company is everything to him.”
“But not to you?”
“No. Nothing’s ever meant that much to me.” Tyler tried to catch her eye, “Not until I met you.”
Ashtyn glanced down at her hands, shaking her head slowly, as if she didn’t want to hear it, and prompted him to continue, “So you were in that alley by complete accident when I came out the back door.”
“Accident. Chance. Fate. Destiny. Call it what you want but yeah, I just happened to be in the right spot at the right time when you bolted from the church.”
“But you were supposed to be there to protect me. You were working for my father. Why didn’t you grab me and force me to go back inside?” Ashtyn finally looked at him and he realized it was an important question for her, that she needed to understand why he’d chosen to all but defy orders when he hadn’t even known her yet.
“You were standing in front of me in a wedding gown rambling on about a bucket list and my motorcycle and all I knew was that if you wanted to get out of there bad enough to run to a stranger, that you must really need to get away.”
“So you put me on the back of your motorcycle and drove me out of town.” She furrowed her brow. “We only stopped when I motioned for you to pull over, where were you planning to take me?”
“My place. It was only a few exits further up the road, remember? I figured we could stop there and I’d be able to get you inside where nobody would see you and then get in touch with my brother and your parents to plan the next move.”
“Only I threw you for a loop when we stopped at that shopping mall and I asked you to bring me to Vegas.” He watched her piece together the sequence of events and nodded.
“You’ve been throwing me for a loop ever since, princess.”
She frowned, “But when did you make the deal with my mother? When did she hire you to babysit me?”
“I made a call while you were in Target.”
Ashtyn snorted, “Of course you did.”
“You should know, everyone else wanted me to bring you straight back to the church. They didn’t care that you wanted to get as far away from there as possible. It was only when I told them I couldn’t bring you back if you didn’t want to go that your mother got on the phone.” He leaned forward and clasped his hands together between his knees, “She said you deserved this trip, that you’d spent your whole life suffocated by your father’s political ambitions and if this was what you needed then she wanted you to have it. Her only stipulation was that I stay with you on your journey to keep you safe. That was all she wanted, Ashtyn. I’m not a babysitter and I’m not your bodyguard. I’m just a guy who got dragged into this because I know the real world better than you do and your mom thought I could keep you out of trouble.”
Ashtyn didn’t say anything but he could tell that she was thinking about what he’d said. He didn’t speak, unsure of what to say next. He wanted her to understand that her mother had only had her best interest at heart when she asked him to look after her. He had to convince her of that before she would ever believe that he’d only wanted the best for her too.
When Ashtyn finally spoke, her voice was soft, almost hesitant, “I guess I can understand what my mom was thinking. I lived my whole life in a bubble. She wanted me protected and I was already with a bodyguard that worked for my father…” She trailed off and then shook her head. “But that doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me.”
He raised an eyebrow, “Doesn’t it?”
“No.”
“Come on, Ash. You know that if I’d told you up front that I was only agreeing to drive you to Vegas because your mom hired me that you’d have ghosted me the second I closed my eyes that first night.”
She chewed her lip thoughtfully, “Okay, yeah. I probably would have, but that was my right. It’s not fair that you lied to me about who you were or why you were with me.”
“I won’t try to say I didn’t lie because I did. I purposefully omitted details about my life and changed the subject whenever you asked about my job. I’m sorry for that and I regret it more than you can possibly know because I realized a while ago how important honesty is to you. I’m sorry I lied, sweetheart. Truly, I am. I should have told you the truth a long time ago, as soon as I crossed the line and you went from being a job to being… more.”
Ashtyn swiped at her cheek and he realized another tear had slipped free, “The way you acted after we slept together the first time… it makes more sense now.”
“I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t fix it and it doesn’t make it any better but I’m so sorry, Ashtyn. I freaked out that morning because I knew I’d crossed the line. I was being paid to keep you safe. I wasn’t supposed to touch you or kiss you, or take you to bed. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you but I couldn’t stop myself and the more time we spent together and I got to know you, the more impossible it felt to tell you the truth and still get to keep you.”
“Tell me it wasn’t all a lie, that it wasn’t just about the money.” Ashtyn finally met his gaze and he saw her searching his face for the truth, saw the hope and felt his heart give a painful squeeze in his chest.
He went to his knees, moving closer to her, “I swear to you, it was never about the money. Not for one second.”
“Then w-why take it?” she hiccupped through another round of tears.
“It was an excuse to stay with you. I wanted to stay with you so I let them put the money in my account so I could call it a job, but you weren’t a job, Ashtyn. You were fun and exciting and smart as hell. Taking the money didn’t feel right, not even at the start, which is why I never touched a penny of it.”
“Y-You didn’t?”
